My wife likes to take yoga classes. She is a very flexible person and loves doing
yoga poses and meditation. My wife wants me to be part of her world
and has tried to get me involved with her love of yoga. I have
discovered I am not a very flexible person. I don't like doing yoga
poses as my body rejects the idea of doing such a thing. When it
comes time for meditation, I fall asleep. I'm sure others in her
yoga class have mentioned about my and bringing a pillow and blanket
for meditation as well as my snoring during this time. I just
discovered a story about a type of yoga that seems designed for
people like me. It's called Rage Yoga. This type of yoga involves
cursing, heavy metal music, and beer. I confess to swearing during
times I've attempted a yoga pose, and it felt awkward. I'm sure rage
yoga could become a very popular activity that can be taught at many
bars around the country. The image of people at biker bar cursing
and drinking beer as they do yoga is something I believe would be
fascinating to watch.
Below are excerpts from
the story with my valuable insights in italics.
Lindsay Istace, the
founder of Rage Yoga, describes it as “alternative yoga for the
modern badass." "It's meant to be a different
approach to yoga for those who find their peaceful center in a
different way," she says. The practice "involves a little
bit of extra chaos and a sense of humor," she says. Think:
war cries heavy metal guitar riffs, occasional dirty jokes, f-bombs,
and yes, even drinking. It’s definitely a vibe.
I wonder if 3,000 years
ago in a land we now know as India if those who invented yoga
anticipated the possibility of Rage Yoga. I can only imagine what
Gandhi would think about Rage Yoga. Seeing him drink beer and
swearing with heavy metal music being played in the backgroud is an
image I don't think many people would believe.
Most people probably
don't think of these things when they take a yoga class.
“I want all of you to
relax before we begin our yoga.”
Someone lets out a
rather nasty burp.
“You, in the back
wearing the heavy metal jacket. Could you please take your beer
outside. There is no drinking during yoga class.”
“What? What kind of
s&^it, f%^ked, up yoga class is this? I paid my money and I want
to drink beer, curse and listen to heavy metal when I do yoga.”
“Oh, that yoga class
is at the biker bar across the street.'
“Really, sorry, I'll
be going now.”
“Namaste.”
“No, sorry, I can't
stay. Come over to bar after class and we'll talk.”
The goal? To make you feel
like an empowered badass, to work through what's holding you back,
and to become a more resilient person, Istace explains in
a video on the Rage Yoga website. Basically, it’s the yoga
equivalent of plugging in your headphones, pressing play on Beyoncé's
"Flawless," cranking the volume all the way up,
and strutting your damn stuff up Fifth Avenue. (Just me?)
(Sarcasm Alert)
I suppose having a goal
of enlightenment, recognition of your own divinity as well as freedom
are boring traditional goals of yoga. Now, this yoga can help people
who want to have that special feeling of being an empowered badass.
Maybe it will help you get in touch with your inner badass and
provide you with badass enlightenment. It's possible people walk
away from this with a sense of their badass divinity. Those who
practice this yoga will be noticed as they move along Fifth Avenue
strutting their stuff. It could also help you learn new curse words
and the latest heavy metal bands as well as the best beer all at the
same time.
As for the actual, you
know, yoga part, Istace tells Health that the
flow itself incorporates traditional yoga postures and breathing
with alternative principles, and the intensity and difficulty
depends on the instructor and class. Speaking of the instructors: All
of the Rage Yoga instructors have completed a Rage
Yoga certification program and also have completed a
200-hour yoga teacher training.
I bet seeing someone
cursing as they do the downward dog pose to heavy metal music is
quite a sight. I think this breathing training will help people with
their beer drinking. They may be told to take a deep breath, exhale,
and drink until the can or bottle is empty. I'm sure if you are
going to learn Rage Yoga, it's important you learn from someone who
has a Rage Yoga certificate.
“How am I doing for
my certificate?”
“Well, you excel at
beer drinking and listening to heavy metal music. You do need some
work when it comes to swearing with your yoga.”
“Could I be tested on
the swearing portion of the certification process when I'm driving?”
“I'm sorry, I can't
allow such a thing.”
“Ah, Son of a b*&ch,
I can't say F*^King, swear unless I'm F*^king my piece of s%^it car.”
“Good news.”
“What?”
“You passed the
swearing portion of the certification process.”
“Great.”
While it might sound like
the opposite of soothing, according to psychotherapist Courtney
Glashow, LCSW, founder of Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New
Jersey, cursing actually can allow for an emotional
release. “In the right setting, I believe that cursing can be
therapeutic because it can allow us to let our anger out, we can use
specific words to express ourselves.”
My father would have
loved Rage Yoga. He had a natural gift for drinking beer and
swearing. When I was growing up, my father's vocabulary consisted of
a natural blend of regular American English and swear words. If you
asked him a question without curse words, he could get confused.
When the proper amount of swearing was involved, he then understood
perfectly.
“It appears that your
car needs to have the oil changed.”
“What?”
“I said, you need to
change the oil in your car changed.”
“What are you talking
about? I don't understand.”
“It looks like that
piece of s&^t car of yours is f*&ked up to the point where
you have to spend money on the b*&ch and get the oil changed.”
“Okay, why didn't you
say so in the first place?
“Never mind.”
Maybe! If you’re so over
regular yoga (or too intimidated to try it), or you’re simply
someone who finds it easier (or more fun!) to get centered while
letting out f-bombs, Rage Yoga could be for you.
I knew I could benefit
from yoga. I guess I just had to find the right type of yoga. When
my wife comes home I may have heavy metal music blasting as I strike
a pose, drink some beer and start swearing. If she asks what I'm
doing, I'll tell her I'm doing Rage Yoga. She could then give me a
look and start swearing and tell me she is practicing annoyed wife
Rage Yoga. Unfortunately for me, that wins over any yoga in
existence.
Below is a link to the
story.
https://www.health.com/fitness/rage-yoga
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