Saturday, October 5, 2019

Burger King has Unhappy Meals to Celebrate However Someone is Feeling. A Real Story



McDonald's started it with their happy meal. This is a kid-type fast food meal with a hamburger, some type of a side like french fries and a drink. It also comes with a cheap plastic toy that is often part of a movie promotion and more. The box has a smile on it. The entire happy meal dining experience is designed to be fun for children. Burger King realizes we are not all children. We still want to eat and have fun. As adults, we are prone to have a wide variety of intense emotional experiences on a daily basis. To accommodate for this, Burger King has seen an opportunity to capitalize on adult hunger and emotions. They have created something they call “Real Meals.” These are fast food meals designed to celebrate people feeling however they want to feel. I'm glad there is a fast food chain that recognizes adult emotions. The only disappointing thing is the Real Meals don't come with a toy. I think they should come with something like a scratch-off lottery ticket, key chain flashlight or glow in the dark pen. Now that would be a real meal.

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.


There are five different "Real Meals" box options that correspond to different moods: Pissed Meal (mad), Blue Meal (sad), Salty Meal (bitter), YAAAS Meal (excited), and DGAF Meal (Don't give a f***).

The #FeelYourWay boxes come with a full-sized Whopper combo meal, which includes fries and a shake, but no toy. They are rolling out in a few major U.S. cities, including Seattle, New York, Los Angeles, Austin, and Miami.


I think the box for the DGAF Meal (Don't give a f***) should have a picture of a middle finger on it. There have been some supervisors I had in the past I would have given this meal as a way to express my feelings about their supervisory skills.

I'm sure these meals will make ordering at Burger King quite an experience.

Welcome to Burger King. How may I help you?”
I'm really pissed.”
Would you like a Pissed Real Meal.”
Do you have an I'm so angry I could bash your face meal?”
Sorry, but no.”
I am feeling depressed.”
Would you like a Blue Real Meal?”
No, I'm just dealing with things, I can't let go from the past.”
Would you like a Salty Real Meal?”
No, I'm not sure.”
I know, how about a DGAF Real Meal?”
I don't know if that's for me.”
I think it's for me. I really get upset when I have to deal with someone who doesn't know what they want to order. It's fast food, not rocket science.”
I like your spunk. Give me a YAAAS Real Meal. You got me excited.”
Not as excited as when I dump it on your head.”
Give me two, you're the best.”


The initiative isn't just a jab at McDonald's — it's in collaboration with the organization Mental Health America to raise awareness for Mental Health Month, which takes place during May.

(Sarcasm Alert)

I'm sure the one place where you can cure mental health is at fast food restaurants. I'm sure all the truly psychotic people have a favorite fast food restaurant. It's good Burger King has recognized this and is determined to corner the market on hungry crazy people. Maybe they should have a line of Real Psychotic Meals. People could get a whopper meal and credit toward the refill of their Lurasidone. They could expand to the I Hear Voices Real Meal as well as Suicidal Real Meal. They could probably be the first fast-food chain to provide the Thinking About Committing Mass Murder Real Meal. I'm sure the possibilities are endless. Their marketing team needs to start work on it immediately.

Brand marketers — especially fast-food companies like Wendy's and Denny's — have latched onto anxiety and depression as marketing "trends" in recent years, attempting to appear relatable to millennials and Gen Z.


Doesn't it say something about Millennials and Gen Z when fast food companies have to utilize the depression and anxiety trends of these generations to relate to them? I'm amazed their drive toward success or trying to become the best possible isn't a marketing tool for these generations. Maybe other companies will catch onto these trends. Shoe stores will start offering discounts to people who have a prescription to psychotic medications. People recently released from mental health facilities will be given discounts at computer stores. Who needs to market to the emotionally well-balanced individuals of these generations? If you want to make money with these people you must market your products so they appeal to their members with mental health issues.

While many are praising a partnership that supports destigmatizing mental health issues, some are disappointed that Burger King doesn't do more to support its own employees.


I suppose Burger King employees want recognition of their mental health issues. Maybe people who are really psychotic should not be expected to show up for work and still get paid? Guess what? Fast food work has been fast food work since there has been fast food. I suppose generations who are coming of age now who want business and industry to accommodate them because they feel overworked and stressed. I wonder if members of these generations realize they are not the first people to live in this world. Being overworked and stress is something all previous generations have experienced in ways they can't imagine. Are they aware many generations before them did much more and complained much less? We did so many things and did it without getting a Real Meal from Burger King. I'm sure some members of the younger generations may struggle to believe it is possible.

Here is a link to the story.

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/burger-king-takes-aim-at-mcdonalds-by-introducing-unhappy-meals/

Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE!

If you think THIS is funny. Click on the Links Below to Check out My Humor Book

The Longer You Live The Older You Get


Or my other one

I Speak Cursive Like a Baby Boomer



Friday, October 4, 2019

Women Arrested at CIA Headquarters Asking for Agent Penis. A Real Story.


I've seen many movies and stories concerning spies. I admit to being a guy envious of the character of James Bond as well as all of the guys who got to play the James Bond character. I know they had a lot of implied sexual situations, and if that didn't get the movie's ticket sales going, they also added a variety of sexual innuendos. As a young guy, I enjoyed telling my parents I saw the movie Octopussy. I enjoyed their expression of shock. I would show then show my parents the movie's listing in the newspaper and tell them it wasn't an X-rated movie. They didn't believe me and didn't want me to mention the movie in their house. I waited until we were out with friends or family to mention seeing it.

Those were good times.

It seems as if those James Bond movies may have had a tremendous impact on one female in North Carolina. She went to the CIA Headquarters in Virginia and tried to sneak in so she could speak with agent penis. I wonder if the wife of agent penis was named agent vagina and she was in a few of the James Bond movies I enjoyed so much during my youth.

I may never know.

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.


A North Carolina woman was arrested this week after trying four separate times to sneak into the Central Intelligence Agency headquarters in Virginia.

The criminal complaint described the unusual incident: “Upon arrival, the defendant provided her Iowa identification card, requested to recover her North Carolina identification card, and requested to speak to Agent Penis."

Now if a video was made of this interaction, it might surpass a billion viewers mark on YouTube. I could be responsible for a few million views myself.

Excuse, me ma'am, how may I help you?”

A woman wearing dark glasses, a scarf covering her head with stylish gloves looks around. She seems confident she doesn't see anyone who may be a problem. The woman leans in closely to the CIA desk attendant.

I am here to see agent penis,” she whispers.

The CIA desk attendant is probably not accustomed to dealing with individuals entering the CIA headquarters and requesting to speak with agents named after male genitalia. The CIA desk attendant is taken aback.

Agent who? “ the CIA desk attendant responds.

The woman now becomes agitated. She again looks around but now has a rather intense expression on her face.

I need to speak with agent penis. I don't expect someone working at the desk to know about agent penis, but I must speak with him. It is of an urgent matter,” the woman says in a voice a bit louder than a whisper.

Why do you need to speak to with someone called agent penis?”

The woman holds out her Iowa identification card.

Are you daft? Here is my Iowa identification card. I must recover my North Carolina identification card and the only one who can help me is agent penis. I don't know how I could make it any more clear to you.”

I'm sure it was pretty fascinating to have a CIA desk attendant call their supervisor and say there was a woman in the lobby of the building asking to see agent penis.


After a review of records, Officer Mirko Peña determined that "CIA police officers had encountered the defendant on several recent occasions, and had cited her for trespassing on the prior evening."

The story only gets better. This is a woman who has nothing better to do in her life but bother people at the CIA headquarters asking for agent penis. I wonder if she ever asked to speak with agent vagina, to show she's not prejudiced against women? I wonder if she is in touch with the reality of what she is doing?



I'm sorry, I have to ask you to leave.”
Why?”
There is no agent penis.”
I know you don't want anyone to know about agent penis, but he promised to help me recover my North Carolina identification card.”
We don't do that at the CIA.”
You are probably not in the intelligence loop at this high of a level. You probably don't know about the covert operations involving agent penis. During the operation, I lost my identification and agent penis said he would get it back to me.”
There is no agent penis.”
Then let me speak with agent vagina.”
There is no agent vagina.”
It is a shame you do not have a security clearance that would make it possible for you to know about our covert operations.”
Really? Agent penis and agent vagina on a covert operation? Is it in the porn industry.”
If anyone asks you, you did not hear it from me.”


Officers then warned the defendant that if she did not depart the premises, she would be arrested. The defendant then declined to board the bus and stated that "l am not leaving." Officers thereupon arrested the defendant for remaining on an Agency installation after being ordered to leave,” the document continues. 

You have to admire her determination. I suppose once you get the idea of seeing agent penis in your mind, it is not something that is easy to let go.

I can only imagine her struggling and yelling as she is being arrested.

You'll be sorry. Once agent penis hears about this all of you will lose your jobs. He is a hard person to calm down once he's angry. Agent vagina will also be angry and will not make herself available to any of you. This is a big mistake.”

The full document, which is available above, finds that the woman, Jennifer G. Hernandez, did not have any “authorization” to speak with any “Agent Penis.”
Hernandez was charged with criminal trespassing in the United States District Court for the Eastern District of Virginia.

I wonder what it would be like for her in jail.

What did you do?”
I murdered my spouse and set our house on fire.”
How about you?”
I robbed a gas station and shot the owner.”
How about you?”
I went to the CIA headquarters in Virginia and demanded to speak with agent penis.”
Whoa, you really are one crazy lady.”

Here is a link to the story.




Thursday, October 3, 2019

The Cyber Witches of Romania. A Real Story.



I have always known the internet would change the world in many ways most of us can only imagine. It appears having everything from Alexa to home security you can check from a Smartphone, as well as digital books and more, are just the start. In Romania, witches have decided to take their powers and use them on the internet. I suppose gone are the witches who you have to meet in person for them to cast spells on people you don't like. The days of sitting by a large iron cauldron that is sitting on a roaring fire as the eye of a newt and scales from a frog are added to the pot's mixture may be a thing of the past. Today, this may be something you see on YouTube, Facebook or other social media sites. If you want to know about a spell, it may be emailed to you. Yeah, the internet has even changed how witches conduct witchcraft. Next thing you know, they'll tell me Hogwarts now is offering a cyber to their students.

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.

...a family of Romanian witches chants via a video call to a client in India paying for a love spell. 

The session, in a decorated shed in a back yard 15 km (9 miles) north of Bucharest, is one of many consultations the family holds online, alternating them with rituals live streamed on Facebook to build up their digital following.


I'm sure social media has certainly changed the ability to bring witchcraft to the masses. I remember back in my day, a witch was a scary person who walked around dressed in black and had a scary laugh. There was no social media for a witch. You had to know somebody. There was a lot of confusion. You could ask to meet a witch and someone could take you to their female boss or a man may take you to his wife out of total confusion about what you wanted. I'm sure social media will never provide the experience of hearing the witches laugh or the look of confusion when you meet someone's wife or boss and realize they know nothing about witchcraft.

The power of the Internet has allowed Romania’s busy witch community to gradually migrate their ancient practices onto the Web.

Witchcraft has long been seen as a folk custom in the eastern European country, and many of its estimated 4,000 witches are luring customers from Europe, Asia, and the United States.

(Sarcasm Alert)

I suppose the internet now means you don't have to settle for just any witch. You can find a witch that suits your individual need instead of settling for the local old hag with a scary laugh because there are no other witches near where you live. Now, you can see if you can get the cute goth-type witches who will try to be scary but seems funny. I wonder if there is a witches website where each witch gives you a little video presentation about the services they offer. They can tell you how they specialize in casting spells that cause people to break out in hives, boils or dress like they're living in the 1970s. You could choose one with a fun laugh instead of a scary one. I wonder if there is online witch training?

However, many of these special rituals, often to do with love, health or money, last weeks and can run into the hundreds.
The witches also said they had recently turned their attention to politics, joining anti-corruption protests.
Minca said she connected online with nine witches and wizards from across Europe to the United States, seeking to put a curse on Romanian lawmakers seen by witches as corrupt.

People paying hundreds of dollars for a witch over the internet to cast a spell concerning health, money or love is interesting. I never knew being an internet witch could be so lucrative. I'm sure this gets a high rating for careers with a future. I would like to speak to the people who pay for these services. I would like to tell them about some property they need to buy in the Florida Everglades and the Brooklyn Bridge is also for sale.

I say if you're going to be a witch, it's important to be a social conscience witch. I don't know if a curse on politicians will work. Most of them are probably so corrupt could make their own curse and put it back on the witches

Streamed online, the group had performed a mass ritual simultaneously with their overseas associates, against “those who don’t do their jobs, those who have bad intentions, will lose their positions and suffer health problems.


I'm sure nothing upsets people more than knowing they are being besieged by digital witches and witchcraft. In the United States, I think our politicians are unable to be affected by witchcraft. Not doing their jobs and having bad intentions seems to keep many of them getting elected time and time again. If they do lose their position or suffer health problems, it's probably because they retired and caught a cold after spending too much time skiing at their winter vacation resort. When I was growing up, we had the Witches of Eastwick. Now, there are the Romanian witches of the digital world.

The internet really has changed everything.

Here is a link to the story.

Wednesday, October 2, 2019

Victims of Cute Aggression are Increasing. A Real Story.


I can remember as a child having an older person pinch your cheek, run their hand through your hair or even pat you on the back was pretty normal. Many members my generation have traumatic memories of being forced to hug or even kiss a very disgusting member of their family. We had an aunt who didn't have any teeth, and she wasn't shy about it. A very nice woman. It was a family tradition for all of us children to line up before leaving her home during the holidays and kiss her to say goodbye. I asked to be paddled rather than to endure this goodbye ritual. On an occasion, I experienced my aunt and the paddle. I never knew I was the victim of cute aggression. I just thought being forced to kiss a toothless old woman was part of the childhood experience. Now I know this type of thing actually has a name. It is known as cute aggression.

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.

Cute aggression is characterized by an individual’s desire to squeeze, pinch, or even bite animals or humans without intent to harm. This behavior has been studied many times before, usually in the realm of behavioral psychology.


This makes me wonder if it also involves young puppies being forced to kiss older toothless dog relatives. So, if somebody squeezes, pinches or even bites me, but doesn't intend to harm me, is that considered cute aggression or some form of kinky behavior between consenting adults? It's good to know it has been studied many times.

Do you want to study why some people are driven to suicide?”
“No.”
Do you want to study depression, anxiety or phobias?”
No?”
What do you want to study?”
I want to learn why a person may desire to pinch, squeeze or even bite a fellow human or an animal with no intent to harm them.”
It's been studied so many times before.”
What happened?”
The researchers started pinching, squeezing and biting one another as well as animals with no intention to cause harm. Then something happened nobody expected.
What?”
The study quickly turned into kinky sex research.”
Oh.”


The Yale researchers initially found that people reported feeling cute aggression more in response to baby animals versus adult animals,” explains Stavropoulos. “But even beyond that, people reported feeling cute aggression more in response to a picture of human babies that had been digitally enhanced to appear more infantile, and therefore ‘more cute,’ by enlarging features like their eyes, cheeks, and foreheads

Now, this is interesting. People went to a lab and were shown pictures of human and animal babies. These people then told about their feelings of cute aggression. This means they had a desire to pinch, squeeze or bite the baby animal and human babies but cause them no harm. I wonder how many toothless old women participated in this study? I can tell you from personal experience, they are some very cute aggressive individuals. People don't know the joy of being old, not cute and having nobody around you have a desire to bite, squeeze or pinch you. If they do, it is usually with the intent to cause harm.


Researchers recruited 54 participants between the ages of 18 and 40 for the study. The participants wore caps embedded with electrodes and were shown 32 photographs divided into four categories: Cute digitally enhanced babies, less-cute non-digitally enhanced babies, cute baby animals, and less-cute adult animals.

Who determines what is and what is not a cute human baby or animal? I would hate to be a participant in this study and see a picture of my kid in the less-cute non-digitally enhanced picture. I'm sure it would be the same way if you found a picture of your pet in the less-cute adult animals.

Hey, I have a question.”
What?”
This picture of the less-cute non-digitally enhanced picture is my grandchild. I demand you put their picture in the cute baby category.”
Sorry, I can't it.”
Why?”
You're looking at the pictures of the less-cute adult animals.”
Watch it, one more crack like that and off comes the cap embedded with electrodes. Then it gets serious about here.”
I'm glad you didn't discover your baby picture we put in the non-cute category.”
What?”


There was an especially a strong correlation between ratings of cute aggression experienced toward cute animals and the reward response in the brain toward cute animals,” says Stavropoulos. “This is an exciting finding, as it confirms our original hypothesis that the reward system is involved in people’s experiences of cute aggression.”

So people felt cute aggression toward a cute animal and their reward response was activated? If they were shown pictures of cute chickens or cute cows, the reward response may have been triggered because they were hungry. They may have wanted to see a cute cow between a bun with cheese and lettuce as well as some strips of a cute pig with it. This would make sense if they wanted to squeeze or pinch it. I think the biting in this situation couldn't cause the cute animal any more harm.

Our study seems to underscore the idea that cute aggression is the brain’s way of ‘bringing us back down’ by mediating our feelings of being overwhelmed.”



I can just see a person standing before a judge.

You have been charged with first-degree cute aggression. How do you plead?”
I throw myself on the mercy of the court.”
Why?”
I'm a toothless old woman and the holidays bring out the cute aggression in me every year. I'm the victim here.”
You are sentenced to view non-cute pictures of children and animals for a period not to exceed sixty days.”
That is cruel and unusual punishment.”
They are pictures of your nephew.”
Okay.”

Here is a link to the story.

https://www.studyfinds.org/pinching-babies-cheeks-study-explores-cute-aggression/

Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE!

If you think THIS is funny. Click on the Links Below to Check out My Humor Book

The Longer You Live The Older You Get


Or my other one

I Speak Cursive Like a Baby Boomer


Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Artist Sells Poop from Kentucky Derby Winning Horse. A Real Story



There are a lot of things silly things I have purchased in my time. I did have to have a portable folding metal stove you could put in a backpack. I've never used it, but it was really cool. There was a gadget that has over a dozen things it could do and was really cheap. So, the light it provided stopped working, the compass didn't last too long but the mini mirror and whistle that came with it are still in perfect condition. I can honestly say that I've never been tempted to purchase poop of any kind. If someone said they could sell me a jar of poop from the Lassie I wouldn't be interested. There are people who see things differently from me. It appears there has been an artist selling poop from a 1997 Kentucky winning horse. I think making money off of poop and calling yourself an artist and not a feces entrepreneur is pretty crappy.

What is this? It looks like a jar of horse poop.”
Why, that is not just any horse poop. It is poop from a horse that won the Kentucky Derby in 1997.”
How do you know it is Kentucky Derby winning horse poop? It could be poop from any horse.”
It just is and that's it. Now go buy your 27 in one gadget and leave me alone.”
Okay.”

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.


That's right, an artist in Kentucky has been gathering the poop of the 1997 Kentucky Derby winner, putting it in a jar and selling it, WLEX reports.

People come to the Old Friends Farm and they all want to see Silver Charm.

It seems everyone has their reason to meet Silver Charm, and for one artist, that reason was poop

I wonder if this person ever feels that people only love him for the poop he can provide them? How do you come up with such an idea? Do you just look at horse poop one day and think to yourself, I bet people will probably pay good money for that horse poop. I'll just put it in some jars and sell it.

What would an advertisement for horse poop be like?

What do you give the person who has everything? You give them a jar of horse poop, but not just any horse poop. We can provide you with authentic poop from a horse that won the Kentucky Derby in 1997. See for yourself how this derby winning equine's digestive system gave him what was necessary to become a champion. Horse poop from the Belmont Stakes and Preakness Stakes winners to come very soon. Start your collection today.”


The man behind the poop is artist Coleman Larkin.

"You gotta get 'em fresh, that's super important. You gotta have that nice shape," Larkin said.

He puts the preserved pieces in Mason jars. Just don't ask him how.

"Oh yeah, it's top secret. I don't want any of my competitors in the turd jarring industry to find out how to do this." 

(Sarcasm Alert)

It is good to know that when you purchase Kentucky Derby winning horse poop, it is fresh. You would want to pay for horse poop that has aged for too long. I do wonder if they discard the horse poop that is not a nice shape or sell it at a discount? Maybe they provide half-off shapeless horse poop. I must admit that if you're going to purchase Kentucky Derby winning horse poop, it should be in a Mason jar. None of this discarded old mayonnaise or pickle jar stuff, you want the quality that comes with a Mason jar. It's good to know that Colonel Sanders had a secret recipe that was finger-licking good. Artist Coleman Larken has a secret method for jarring Kentucky Derby winning horse poop. It may someday be as valuable as the recipe for Coke.


If you're wondering who would sell this, look no further than the company Kentucky for Kentucky. 

"It's horse-made and handmade here in Kentucky," says Whit Hiler of Kentucky for Kentucky. "Which is very unique and how many things can you buy that are horse-made and handmade."

The price is steep - $200. 


I can not disagree that Kentucky Derby-winning horse poop is made in Kentucky. I do think it is a bit of false advertising to say it was handmade. I believe it is obvious this horse poop is equine made in Kentucky. Could they be considering branching out to sell other items horses discard? Would they want to save the trimmings from a horse's hoof and sell those in a Mason jar? Are we going to see bits of a Kentucky Derby winning horse hair mane for sale in a Mason jar? I'm sure there are many possibilities they have yet to explore.

If you have to pay $200 for Kentucky Derby-winning horse poop, I wonder if the cost of the horse poop decreases based on how the horse placed in the race. It may be $200 for a jar of the Kentucky Derby-winning horse's poop, $150 for the poop of the horse that placed second, $100 for the horse that placed third and so on. I'm sure savvy horse poop collectors around the world will know if this is a good deal.

Below is a link to the story



Monday, September 30, 2019

Playing Hip Hop Music When Making Cheese Makes It Taste Better. A Real story.



I know the cheese making industry is probably very competitive. All cheese manufacturers are trying to find some type of advantage they can use against the competition. The people in Switzerland consume some of the highest amounts of cheese when compared to other countries around the world. They have high cheese standards in this country. Scientists in Switzerland want to research ways to provide the best-tasting cheese in the world. They've not discovered any type of new ground-breaking cheese making technology. They have discovered something interesting. Exposing cheese to constant hip hop music could improve its flavor. I do wonder if there are Swiss hip hop bands, but I really don't want to know.

Here are some excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.

Nine wheels of Emmental cheese weighing 10 kilos (22 pounds) each were placed in separate wooden crates last September to test the impact of music on flavor and aroma. The cheese was exposed 24 hours a day to A Tribe Called Quest’s hip hop track “We Got it From Here”, Mozart’s ‘Magic Flute’ opera or Led Zeppelin’s rock classic “Stairway to Heaven


So, nobody in Switzerland thought to find out how the flavor of cheese would react to country and western music, jazz or blues. I'm sure being exposed to music by Garth Brooks, Sarah Vaughn or John Lee Hooker could also improve the flavor. Garth Brooks could sing about how his wife left him and took all the cheese. A jazz song about how two people find love and happiness having cheese would be great. There could be a blues song about how a man got a good deal on his favorite cheese and it was recalled by the manufacturer. Those Swiss researchers should consider using different types of music.

Soundwaves at low, medium and high frequencies were played for three others while one wheel was left in peace.

The most obvious differences were observed in the strength of flavor, smell and taste,” Bern University of Arts researchers said in reporting the findings of a culinary jury which did a blind tasting.


I'm sure when it was revealed what type of music the cheese was exposed to during the manufacturing process, many people where surprised.

This cheese has a strong and robust flavor”
That cheese was exposed to rock music.”
This cheese has a smooth flavor.”
It was exposed to jazz music.”
This cheese has a dark smokey taste.”
That cheese was exposed to goth music.”
What was this cheese exposed to? It tastes like crayons.”
Kids bop.”
Oh.”

The hip hop sample topped the list of all cheese exposed to music in terms of fruitiness...(it) was the strongest of these in terms of smell and taste.”

The experiment, instead of using loudspeakers, used mini transmitters to conduct the energy of the music into the cheese.


I wonder if it the flavor of the cheese would have been better if they had hip hop artists perform live for the cheese? They may have made some special lyrics for the occasion.

Don't let nobody put you down because you're cheese
Make them say excuse me and make them say please
Tell them to go away if they sneeze
Because, because, because you're the cheese master.

You going to taste good
Like a cheese lover knows you should
All cheese wants to be like you if it could
All the cheese in the world knows it would
But they can't no way, no how like you can't get chocolate candy from a cow
Because, because, because you're the cheese master.


Beat Wampfler, the cheesemaker behind the project said the cheeses were tested twice by the jury and both times the results were more or less the same.
He said the experiment would now focus on hip hop.
The idea is now to take 5 or 10 kinds of cheeses and put hip hop on them and then compare.”

I suppose hip hop cheese is now going to be a rather popular item. I'm sure there would also be a market for country and western cheese, but it may need to be deep fried and served with a bar-b-que sauce There could also be a market for jazz cheese, but it would have to come with assorted dipping sauces and wine. Blues cheese would be difficult to sell because the people who buy it may be too depressed to eat it. Heavy metal cheese would be good, it would just have to be able to be thrown, slammed on the ground and more.

I believe the potential of making cheese with different kinds of music is just beginning to be explored.

Here is a link to the article.




Sunday, September 29, 2019

Computers are Responsible for the Inactivity of Americans. A Real Story



Things are different now from when I was a kid. Back then there were no computer games and no home computers. There was no such thing as a smartphone and if you wanted to have fun or talk on the phone, it usually involved some type of physical activity. Our world was limited to the real world and television was only interesting on Saturday mornings when you could watch the latest cartoons. It appears Americans are becoming more inactive and part of the blame is on computers. I would like to point out that I've never had a computer tackle me, throw me in a chair and force me to use it. I'm sure it's possible a line of just such computers could coming soon, but they are not here now. I will go with Americans increasingly not taking responsibility for being sedentary and are putting part or all of the blame on computers.

Over almost a decade, average daily sitting time increased by roughly an hour, to about eight hours for U.S. teens and almost 6 1/2 hours for adults, according to the researchers. That includes school and work hours, but leisure-time computer use among all ages increased too.


I'm amazed at these statistics. Not because I don't believe they're accurate, but because it's possible to have your computer needs met with a phone at whatever space you occupy. I'm sure it will eventually evolve into robbers and people communication over their phone and never meeting in person.

The text exchange would be interesting.

This is a robbery. I'm too busy to meet you in person, but I will tell you where to leave your money. Do what I say and you won't get hurt. Here is my simulated gun pointed at you. I'm not afraid to use it.

I'm too tired to get out my money. I have an app for screaming and running from robbers and I'm going to use it.

I'm warning you to not be a hero. You don't want the virtual police involved with what is happening between us. I have a robber app that I'll use to chase you down in the cyber world and then take your money from you. I may even give you a few hits in your virtual head to make my point.

You can't get away with this. I'll report you to the virtual police and they will find you and arrest you.

Until they get here, you better give me your money or I will beat the virtual life out of you.

Okay, you win. I'll leave my money here, but I'm too lazy to go home.
That's okay, I'm too lazy to pick it up, so I'll have a friend get it.

Okay.


Everything we found is concerning,” said lead author Yin Cao, a researcher at Washington University’s medical school in St. Louis. “The overall message is prolonged sitting is highly prevalent,” despite prominent health warnings about the dangers of being too sedentary.

I can just see telling people who sit around on their computer all day they should get up and take a walk. They may respond by saying they've taken a long virtual walk, so they have had their exercise. When you try to explain they need to physically get up and walk outside, I bet some may begin to experience computer withdrawal symptoms. In order to mitigate the symptoms, smartphones help them travel beyond their computers. The only problem is they probably so busy looking at their smartphone they walk into buildings, lamp posts and other people. This is why they consider walks in the real world to be very dangerous and prefer virtual walks instead.

Studies have shown that prolonged periods of sitting can increase risks for obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and some cancers. U.S. activity guidelines released last fall say adults need at least 150 minutes to 300 minutes of moderate-to-vigorous activity each week, things like brisk walking, jogging, biking or tennis. Muscle strengthening two days weekly is also advised. Immediate benefits include reduced blood pressure and anxiety and better sleep.


How about we take a person's computer and smartphone. We place them at a distance and tell them if they don't get there first, someone will take their computer or smartphone. I believe this could result in a person doing 300 minutes of vigorous activity. Then they are told if they don't get to their computer or smartphone in time, the hard drives will be removed and they must then catch the person who has them. I'm sure we would see some Americans start biking, walking or jogging like a velociraptor was behind them. This may lead to a new reality show called Find Your Tech or one called Locate Your Tech Before It's Too Late. I'm sure this could at least start out as a fun channel on YouTube. It may defeat the purpose as many of these people could spend a lot of time sitting and watching videos of these programs.

The researchers analyzed U.S. government health surveys from almost 52,000 Americans, starting at age 5, from 2001-2016. Total sitting time was assessed for teens and adults starting in 2007. The results were published Tuesday in the Journal of the American Medical Association.


I suppose this is based on surveys concerning sitting time. Did they call people and ask if they were sitting? Did they ask them how much time they spent sitting? It would take a lot of resources to maintain contact with 52,000 people for 15 years.

This is the sitting survey. How much did you sit today?”
I'm tired of these surveys. What did I say last time?”
You said you sit quite a bit. Have you changed much?
Yeah, I'm 15 years older and don't have time to take sitting surveys. So whatever.”
Has your sitting increased or decreased?”
Should that include my time spent in the bathroom?”
I don't know.”
Well, call me back next year when you do know. Bye.”

Could this type of inactivity lead to a new type of rehab industry? Could we see new organizations created such as Tech Addicts Anonymous (TAA)? Would there be Tech Watchers (TW) or others? They may encourage regular visits to the real world where they can learn about real things in the world. I'm sure the more time they spend in the real world, the easier it will become for them to exercise in it.

Here is a link to the story.

https://wtop.com/tech/2019/04/americans-getting-more-inactive-computers-partly-to-blame/

Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE!

If you think THIS is funny. Click on the Links Below to Check out My Humor Book

The Longer You Live The Older You Get


Or my other one

I Speak Cursive Like a Baby Boomer