It’s bad enough these days that stupid people are able to be elected into high office, run corporations and make decisions that affect all of us. Unfortunately stupid people often get more than their fair share of media attention. Seldom will any of us see a news headline that describes an intelligent man and women being responsible parents, staying out of trouble with the law and providing a comfortable living for themselves and their families. Who wants to read about something like that when they can hear about stupid people doing thing like havine 27 children without jobs, being married to 14 people at the same time or filing idiotic lawsuits?
Now I can only imagine that some very liberal attorneys somewhere must regularly gather together as many stupid people as possible. They then explain to them lawsuits can easily be filed by stupid people just like them for stupid reasons. They're told they have an advantage being stupid because many jurors will be able to relate to them.
“Welcome to our stupid people lawsuit filing class. Before we begin are there any questions?”
“Can I like, sue my father, ya’ know ‘cause like, he didn’t get me a car when I was like 16 and now I can’t find a job and my whole life is ruined.”
“How old are you now?”
“Ah, I’m, like 34 now and I live at home but without a car, I would have to walk the ten minutes to town and I could, you know, like get a disease and die or something, in bad weather, if I worked, so I think it’s like his fault I don’t have a job and must sponge off him for a place to live, food and spending money.”
“It’s obvious you’re a victim of parental abuse and you may have a case.”
“Cool.”
“We’ll show you how to file the papers later.”
“Ah man, I have to file papers? Maybe I can get my dad to do it for me. He owes me you know.”
Here are some of the top rated ridiculous lawsuits. (Sarcasm Alert for my views of them.)
A CONVICT SUED THE PEOPLE WHO HE KIDNAPPED BECAUSE THEY DID NOT AID HIM IN EVADING POLICE. Stupid people probably felt that just because the man kidnapped them the couple had no reason to cop an attitude. They probably felt kidnapping being against the law is so overrated. Stupid people probably hope if the couple ever kidnaps anybody they get turned into the police by their captors.
A MAN ILLEGALLY CARRIES A GUN INTO A BAR AFTER BEING INJURED THERE AND FILES A LAWSUIT AGAINST THE BAR BECAUSE HE WAS NOT SEARCHED FOR A WEAPON. Who could argue with this logic? If I have a gun and go somewhere you better search me for it. I suppose this man believes we should have TSA checkpoints at the entrance of bars. I can only imagine the lawsuits that would bring.
A MOTHER IS SUED BY HER ADULT CHILDREN BECAUSE SHE SENT CARDS THAT DID NOT INCLUDE GIFTS AND SHE ALLEGEDLY PLAYS FAVORITES. This will serve as a lesson to cheapo, favorite playing mothers everywhere. All I can say is I hope this case is heard before Judge Judy.
A WOMAN FILES A LAWSUIT FOR $5 MILLION AFTER SHE DISAGREES WITH A STORE OVER A REFUND FOR 80 CENTS SHE WAS TO RECEIVE. Whoever said stupid people were good with numbers? If this woman wants $5 million for an 80 cent refund all I can say is she’s probably works for the federal government.
CHUCK E. CHEESE IS SUED BY A MOTHER WHO CLAIMS THE GAMES IN THE RESTAURANT ENCOURAGE CHILDREN TO GAMBLE. I think this could be easily resolved if Chuck E. Cheese were willing to start a Gamblers Anonymous chapter in all local elementary schools and preschools.
A FAT GUY FILES A LAWSUIT AGAINST A BURGER JOINT BECAUSE THE BOOTHS IN THE PLACE ARE TOO TIGHT FOR HIM TO SQUEEZE INTO. Is it really his fault he’s obese? Isn’t he a victim who’s been taken advantage of by restaurants forcing him to eat their food and causing him to be heavy? Now they won’t even accommodate for what they’ve don’t to him. If you start expecting him to be responsible for his weight next thing you’ll want him to do is be responsible for having a job and paying bills. Oh the humanity!
To those of us who can’t even contemplate wasting a court’s time with such nonsense we can only laugh and be amazed at the thought process that could see such idiocy as sensible. It’s true the wheels of justice turn slowly but they may speed up a bit if stupid people were talked out of filing such lawsuits.
