Saturday, August 17, 2019

A Dental Office Lawn, Playboy Bunny Mannequins and Garden Shears. A Real Story




I have a dentist that will decorate the outside o his office during different holidays. I have seen the inside of his office overwhelmed with pictures of his son's baseball team when they won the local baseball title. I never gave it a second thought when his office was filled with pictures of his first grandchild. I respect the fact it is his office and what he does with it is not my concern. I just want a good dental visit free of pain or filled with good legal drugs to avoid pain. I'm easy to please. This is not always the case. It appears there is an individual in New Jersey with real issues about the decorations a dentist had on the lawn outside his office. This dental decorator placed mannequins dressed like Playboy bunnies to honor Playboy founder Hugh Hefner on the lawn outside his office. A woman didn't like the display. She destroyed it with garden shears. Some people in New Jersey may be shocked by the display the dentist put on his lawn. Others might believe this dentist may have started a new and fun Easter tradition.

Here are some excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.



At a time when many homes display cute Easter symbols -- brightly colored eggs, and pastel-hued baskets -- one on the lawn of a dentist's office in New Jersey has attracted headlines because of its well-endowed and scantily-clad bunnies.

I suppose if you have Playboy bunny mannequins on your lawn that aren't scantily-clad or well-endowed, it may be a sign your not really in the spirit of Easter or honoring Hugh Hefner. I must admit, having these on the lawn of your dentist's office would provide some very interesting conversations during your time in the waiting room.

What are those scantily-clad, well-endowed mannequins dressed like Playboy bunnies doing on the lawn?”
Would you believe not one of them has any cavities?”
They're mannequins. I hope they don't have cavities.”
Would you believe we have them there to celebrate the Easter season.”
No.”
Would you believe it was done to pay homage to Playboy magazine founder Hugh Hefner.”
Now that makes sense.”



The display at a dental office in the city of Clifton, featured five mannequins dressed in lingerie, fishnet stockings, and colorful wigs, all holding Easter baskets and surrounded by Easter eggs. It had drawn mixed reviews from neighbors, as well as passers-by, some of whom stopped to take photos.

I say we must respect the rights of dentists around the world to celebrate the Easter season, or any season, with Playboy bunny mannequins that are scantily-clad and well-endowed on their office lawns or even in their office if they desire. If they want to have real Playboy bunnies on their lawn to celebrate any holiday, I think it is their right. I think I speak for many men when I say I hope this is a trend that grows and becomes popular, I hope it isn't something just done by dentists but other members of the medical profession as well. I hope it becomes popular with physicians, chiropractors, optometrists and other members of the medical field. I and many men like me support their rights to have such lawn displays.


A television news crew was filming the decorations around 1 p.m. Tuesday when a woman — who lives in a home across the street from the dental office and identified herself as Desire Mozek— took it down with garden shears.

That is just plain wrong. What were these Playboy bunny mannequins doing to her? They were innocent scantily-clad and well-endowed mannequins minding their own business. So what if they had on fishnet stockings colorful wigs and were dressed in lingerie? They were promoting dental health. It was a special way for a dentist's office to celebrate the Easter holiday season and honor Hugh Hefner. If I lived in her neighborhood, and she had a lawn display of Frosty the Snowman, it would be taken down with a snowblower.



Gangi said he is in the process of filing a restraining order against the woman... Gangi estimated the damage to the display at $500 to $1,000.

I'm sure the emotional damage to all those who loved that display can't be accurately calculated.

We're taking up a collection.”
Is it for a new fire truck?'
No.”
Is it for our local school?”
No.”
What is it for?”
We are taking up a collection to help the dentist who had his lawn display of scantily-clad and well-endowed Playboy bunny mannequins destroyed with garden shears.”
Why didn't you say so? Here is what I have in my wallet. I'm going to go get some more and be right back.”
You're a good man.”

Here is a link to the story.


Here is a funny video from It is a Glorious Day.

It is called: Ekim, tomato fights, black oil, bulls, and other fun stuff to do in Spain




Friday, August 16, 2019

Fake Smiles in the Workplace Can Lead to Heavy Drinking. A Real Story


I'm sure we have all had to endure times at work when we felt forced to smile when we just didn't feel like it. Who among us at our job hasn't felt forced at one time or another to hide our anger, frustration or rage behind a smile? According to a new study, forcing a workplace smile could cause someone to engage in heavy drinking. I suppose there will be people telling themselves if they just hadn't faked so much smiling at work, they would not have a drinking problem.

You smile at work, you smile when we're drinking, you're always smiling. You must be a happy person.”
Not really, I got a Botox injection not too long ago and my facial muscles can't move out of a smile.”
That must be difficult.”
No, customers and co-workers seem to laugh when I yell and swear at them smiling.”
I suppose there is an upside to everything.”

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.

Employees who work in the public eye who force themselves to smile for customers or hide feelings of annoyance may be susceptible to heavy drinking after hours, according to a new study. Researchers at Penn State and the University of Buffalo studied the drinking habits of employees who work in the public view. Some of the jobs studied include nurses, teachers or food service employee.



Oh, that's great. I think it may be upsetting to be with a nurse who smiles at you when you're in gut-wrenching agony. If they start laughing, I'd suggest they find another profession. (I know nurses are all very professional and this is simply a humorous exaggeration).

It makes sense for teachers.

I'm sure my little darling child is never a problem in your class at all. I'm sure we can agree any problems with his behavior are not my problem. It's probably the fault of the school. I'm sure that's why you're smiling right now.”
If I was to tell you why I'm smiling right now, I'd lose my job.”
Oh.”

A food service worker who is dealing with the things required of that job, and is constantly smiling, would worry me. I'd wonder if they were using some type of an illegal substance or did something to the food they don't want me to know about.

And now a word from a professor of psychology at Penn State, Alicia Grandey.



"Faking and suppressing emotions with customers was related to drinking beyond the stress of the job or feeling negative," said Grandey. "It wasn't just feeling bad that makes them reach for a drink. Instead, the more they have to control negative emotions at work, the less they are able to control their alcohol intake after work.

I could quit drinking any time I want.”
Why don't you?”
Because I spend my entire day at work controlling my negative emotions. This has resulted in me having less ability to control my drinking after work.”
I guess that's as good of a reason as any.”

I wonder if faking and suppressing emotions go beyond work? This is a common occurrence with parents trying not to become the parent-Hulk with their teenage children. It also happens with other family members. Sometimes an honest attempt at sobriety doesn't begin in some families until the holiday season is over on January 2.



Researchers used phone interview data from 1,592 of those U.S. workers. Data collection was supported by a National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism grant.

Phone interviews? (Sarcasm Alert) Oh, this is some real precise research. I wonder what the questions were like for this study.

Do you get really annoyed and angry at people at your work?”
Yes, but not as annoyed and angry as I do with people calling my home asking me to participate in a study.”
Do you smile and suppress or fake your emotions at work?”
Yes, and I especially do this when I'm called on the phone to participate in studies as well.”
Do you think suppressing or faking your emotions has led you to drink heavily?”
Yes, as a matter of fact, I'm drinking heavily right now.”
Thank you for your time.”


Researchers found a stronger link between surface acting and drinking with highly impulsive people who work in jobs that don't develop a relationship with the customers they have to interact with (for example, employees at call centers). People at these types of jobs are usually young and entry-level professionals who don't have the social or financial benefits that can outweigh the costs of having to "fake it" all the time, according to the study.

What does this mean?

Sir, you never smile since you took over the company.”
Hey, I don't have to fake it anymore. I'm not a young entry-level professional, and I have money. So, that means, according to recent studies, I get to scowl at anyone and everyone I want. I can be honest with my emotions and tell people what idiots and worthless human beings they are without the worry of drinking heavily.”
You still drink heavily.”
I'm still married and have a family. My life is not all that perfect.”
Oh.”



Employers may want to consider allowing employees to have a little more autonomy at work like they have some kind of choice on the job," Grandey said. "And when the emotional effort is clearly linked to financial or relational rewards, the effects aren't so bad.

What does this even mean?

Employees should take turns choosing where to go drinking after work?

Hey, you get to be a stealth employee from now on. Our customers won't see you or interact with you, but they'll know you work for us. No more need to spend the day with a fake smile. With this new position comes a significant raise. Now you can quit drinking heavily.
Well, you have me, it will take a long time to pay off my bar tab.”
Why are you still smiling?”
Now I'll have the money to engage in my favorite hobby.”
What is it?”
Making homemade alcoholic beverages.”
Oh.”

Here is a link to the story.


Here is a funny video from It is a Glorious Day

It is called: Getting Drunk From Food





Thursday, August 15, 2019

Tourists Flock to See Site of World's Worst Nuclear Disaster. A Real Story


I have always been open to having interesting travel adventures. I've been to several countries around the globe and have done everything from ride a camel near the pyramids in Egypt to playing a game Tortuga in Spain. If it seems fun, interesting, historical or different, I'm open to the experience. I've never had a desire to visit the site of a nuclear reactor explosion. I may be one of the few. It appears tourists are flocking to Chernobyl in Ukraine to see the place where the worst nuclear disaster in the history of the world occurred.

Here are some excerpts from the story. My valuable insights are in italics.

The ghost town of Pripyat, the once-hailed Soviet “futuristic city” where Chernobyl nuclear plant workers and their families lived. Thirty-three years after the Chernobyl nuclear reactor explosion, Pripyat’s broad boulevards are crowded with tangles of overgrown trees. Its once gleaming buildings are dark and brooding — windows are gone, interiors looted, hallways littered with crumbling books.

Why would you want to see someplace like the leaning tower of Pisa or the Great Wall of China when you can see a city devastated by a nuclear disaster?

I think we should talk about our vacation plans.”
Where would you like to go? Does visiting the stunning Inca Ruins in Machu Picchu sound interesting to you? How about seeing the Matterhorn in Switzerland? Is visiting Hong Kong and their financial district something that interests you?”
All of those sound so great but I want something a bit different. I want to see a city devastated by a nuclear disaster. The chance to see buildings without windows and looted interiors, as well as hallways filled with crumbling books, is something I want to experience.”
I'm sure none of our friends can say they saw the place where the world's worst nuclear accident occurred.”
I think you're right. Let's see what flights there are to Chernobyl in Ukraine.”



Ever since the Ukrainian government opened Chernobyl to tourists in 2011, the number of annual visitors continues to climb. Last year, the government reported nearly 72,000 visitors, up from 50,000 the year before.
Travel to Ukraine has become cheap,” said Sergii Ivanchuk, owner of SoloEast, a company that last year shuttled nearly 12,000 tourists to the site of the infamous nuclear disaster.

I wonder if they have a gift shop available to commemorate a person's trip to the place where the world's worst nuclear accident occurred?

I can't choose what to buy from this gift shop. It's a toss up between the T-shirt that says “I went to see where the worst nuclear accident in the world occurred and all I got was this lousy T-shirt” or this little model of a blown up nuclear reactor that glows in the dark.”
I know your struggle. There is the commemorative Geiger counter with Chernobyl on it and these special green candies called nuclear waste. Oh, it is tough to make a decision.”



Two-day guided tours cost $200 to $300 a person for a group of 12 and include an overnight stay in a spartan, dormlike hotel in the town of Chernobyl, about 12 miles from the reactor. Day excursions are available too. Dozens of companies run trips to the area. Tour buses, often painted with gas masks and radiation symbols, pick up customers from Kiev’s Independence Square.

I guess when going to a place where a nuclear disaster occurred, it's important to ride in a bus with radiation symbols and gas masks painted on the side of it. I imagine having a bus that has people with four eyeballs, their skin falling off or burning up from being exposed to nuclear radiation painted on the side would be bad for business. Nice to know there are group tours and day excursions. They are able to accommodate any tourist situation. Being able to stay in a dormlike hotel is probably combined with the paintings on the side of the buses to make the experience almost irresistible.



A highlight of the trip was meeting Ivan Ivanovich, 82, at the primitive-yet-cozy home he built in Parishev village. Ivanovich is one of 119 “self-settlers” who are still alive, according to Exclusion Zone officials. The settlers were allowed to return after 600,000 so-called liquidators cleaned up the roads, bulldozed toxic buildings, scraped the radiated topsoil, and buried cars and furniture.

If being able to see the devastation caused by a nuclear disaster is not enough, tourists can see a man in his eighties who lives in the area. I don't know what it says about the tour when meeting with an octogenarian who survived a nuclear disaster is the highlight of the trip. If he speaks with all the tourists every day, this guy has a tough job.

What is it like living near where a nuclear disaster occurred?”
Well, I don't need a flashlight at night since my flesh now glows.”
Are you serious?”
Come back for a night tour and I'll show you.”

It is good to know they bulldozed toxic buildings, buried furniture, cars and scraped topsoil that was radiated. I wonder if there is part of the tour where you can watch a short film showing toxic building bulldozing and more. Maybe they don't think its necessary since tourists can talk to a nuclear surviving octogenarian.

Then our bus began its journey back to the Exclusion Zone exit checkpoints where we were tested for radioactive dust on metal devices that looked like subway turnstiles. We all passed.

I can honestly say I'm not anxious to spend hundreds of dollars to take a tour where I'm tested for the presence of radioactive dust. I wonder what happens if you don't pass the radioactive dust test?

Beep”
I'm sorry you have too much radioactive dust. You failed.”
What happens now?”
Instead of staying at a dormlike hotel room, you now get to stay with a well-known nuclear surviving octogenarian.”
Oh.”

It's certain you won't have such an experience visiting the Eiffel Tower.

Here is a link to the story.


Here is a funny video from It is a Glorious Day.
It is called: Communicating With Cue Cards On YouTube








Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Axe-Wielding Ghost With Methamphetamine. A Real Story



I have been caught in uncomfortable situations where I knew it was in my best interest, to be honest, and tell the truth. Nothing involving the law. I have had to confess to eating the last chocolate cookie, being with guy friends instead of having car trouble as well as not telling my wife I saw a movie without her. These are difficult situations but nothing like a man in Louisiana had to admit to doing. He was forced to admit the methamphetamine law enforcement in his home was not put there by a ghost. I don't know what is worse in this situation. The fact the man felt the police would believe a ghost had put methamphetamine in his home or the fact that he thought it was a good idea to tell the police a ghost put methamphetamine in his home. If this was successful, I'm sure ghosts would have been blamed for everything from car thefts to shoplifting and more.

Below are some excerpts from the story. My valuable insights are in italics.

A man who surmised that a ghost may have planted methamphetamine in his Louisiana home eventually admitted that he, and not an otherworldly force, was responsible for the drug being in his residence, court records show.

Can you imagine this scene? It would have been a very popular episode for the television show Cops.

Sir, we have found methamphetamine in your residence. Did you purchase this or make it?”

The man's eye's open wide and he seems to be very shocked.

What is that doing here? I have had a lot of trouble with meth-addicted ghosts coming into my house and doing their illegal drugs. You have no idea what it is like to live with an otherworldly being who is an addict. I wish the only thing that was left here was meth If you find any other illegal drugs or guns you need to contact the ghost police immediately and have them perform an investigation. We can't let this happen to another innocent citizen.”

Michael Auttonberry, 60, was arrested in October after police arrived at his home in response to a purported assault. Auttonberry, cops say, had called 911 to claim that he had been “stabbed on the head by an axe.”

So, this man contacted authorities to say he had been stabbed in the head with an axe. I think if you've been stabbed in the head with an axe calling 911 would be a bit of a challenge. I've known people going through a difficult patch in their life but dealing with axe induced head wounds and drug-addicted specters are new to me. These are some serious poltergeist.



When officers arrived at Auttonberry’s West Monroe home, they determined that he was not suffering from any axe wounds (and there were no assailants in sight). Cops did, however, spot “in plain view on a nightstand an open brown paper containing approximately 1 gram of suspected methamphetamine,” according to a probable cause affidavit. A subsequent pat down of Auttonberry yielded a pill bottle containing an additional gram of meth.

I wonder if he told him that a person in this world wouldn't see his axe wound because he had been stabbed on the head by a ghost axe?

You don't have any head wound.”
It's a wound from a ghost axe.”
I don't see anything.”
Hey, get a police medium here to hold a séance you'll learn about it.”
We don't have a police medium.”
Then how are you going to find out about the ghost putting methamphetamine on my nightstand and in my pocket? I need ghost protection.”



Quizzed by cops, Auttonberry said that "a ghost or intruders"planted the drugs before climbing out a bedroom window. This claim, investigators determined, “was not accurate.”

Wow, this drug-addicted ghost was so gone on drugs, it didn't do its ghost thing and slowly move through walls. It went outside a bedroom window.

Why did you go through a bedroom window. You're a ghost. You can just walk through the walls. You didn't even have to leave. Law enforcement of that world can't see you.”
Damn, these drugs are getting to me. I think I'm ready to go to ghost drug rehab.”

Charged with narcotics possession and making a false report to police, Auttonberry subsequently pleaded guilty to the felony drug charge. He was sentenced to serve “six (6) months at hard labor.”

I can only imagine what it was like in court when he had to admit the methamphetamine was his.

I don't believe a ghost had anything to do with this situation.”
I'm telling you it was a ghost. A drug-addicted ghost who hit me in the head with a ghost axe and ran out of my bedroom window”
If you plead guilty, you'll serve six months at hard labor. If you go to trial, you could spend up to ten years in jail.”



The man's eye's open wide.

Silly me, did I say a ghost? See, I was so confused. I meant to say I was so frightened of ghosts I did drugs. I mean, it is an honest mistake that is easy to make. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was me with the methamphetamine. I have no idea where the ghost axe thing came from.”

I wonder if he was tempted to say the devil made him do it?

Here is a link to the story.



Here is a funny video from It is a Glorious Day.
It is called: The Poo Bus Is Real



Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Robotic Vacuum Believed to be a Burglar. A Real Story




I know that societies around the world are slowly becoming more and more dependent on computers. Our cars, homes and more are completely computerized. It appears that modern technology is willing to take things even a step further. In Oregon, robotic vacuums are being accused of committing burglaries. This is a true story.

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.

Deputies responding to a 911 call for a "burglary in progress" at an Oregon woman’s home ended up catching the culprit – a robotic vacuum that was trapped in her bathroom.

I wasn't there, so I don't know exactly what happened. It does seem to me there would be a huge difference between a human burglar sound and a robotic vacuum sound.

There are so many things missing in the house. I wonder if someone has been stealing from us?”
I don't see any sign of a break-in around the house.”

After uttering these words, the nefarious robotic vacuum cleaner begins whistling a happy tune and looking the other way. There is probably no butler, so they can't blame it on the butler. The robotic vacuum cleaner has yet to be a common focus of household larcenies. It laughs silently as the robotic vacuum believes it has committed the perfect crime.

The initial call came in from someone reporting that a stranger was in her bathroom and that the person had the bathroom door locked, the sheriff's office said. She said she could see shadows moving under the door.



I suppose it is easy to get confused between a robotic vacuum and a person locked in a bathroom.

A woman knocks on the bathroom door. She notices it is locked and starts yelling.

Hey, who is in there?”
Sounds of a robotic vacuum.
Are you a burglar? Why did you lock yourself in the bathroom?”
More sounds of a robotic vacuum.
You better answer me or I'm calling the police.”
Continued sounds of a robotic vacuum.
That does it, I'm calling the police. I don't know if you're a burglar or not, but I have to use the bathroom and it's locked.”
Additional sounds of a robotic vacuum combined with robotic laughter.

Within minutes several deputies surround the home, calling for a K9 team as their backup. They say they could hear a rustling noise coming from the bathroom. After calling to the “suspect” several times over a loudspeaker, deputies went into the home with their guns drawn. After opening the bathroom door, deputies say they found an automated robot vacuum crashing around on the floor.

This would be a scene right out of a movie. Police on a loudspeaker with their guns out yelling at a robotic vacuum trapped in a person's bathroom.

Come out of the bathroom with your hands up.”
I don't have any hands to put up.”
We want you to come out.”
I'm not done with the vacuuming. Come back in a few minutes. After this, I'm done for the day so I'm not leaving.”

The police kick in the bathroom door with their guns out.

Freeze, don't move.”

Hey, I'm a robotic vacuum cleaner, not a burglar. I hope you realize you police are tracking dirt onto a carpet I just cleaned. Could you please keep that K9 dog out of here? Now, I'll have to vacuum it again. I hope you're happy.”



No word on whether deputies filed charges in the incident, but the suspect’s record appears to be clean.

I can just imagine the conversation that took place after the police found out all this was done because someone mistook a robotic vacuum cleaner for a burglar.

There was no burglar. It was a robotic vacuum cleaner trapped inside your bathroom doing its job and cleaning the carpet. Are you an idiot? If you're not an idiot, you may have broken some laws here and could be arrested.”

Duh, dee, duh, I, ah, duh, don't, doo, dee, duh, duh, don't know, duh, what you are, duh, talking about.”

Here is a link to the story.



Here is a funny video from It is a Glorious Day.

It is Called: Ekim visits the American International Rattlesnake Museum









Monday, August 12, 2019

Fighting Depression With a Support Alligator. A Real Story




There is a man in Pennsylvania who suffers from depression. This is a sad situation, but the man is doing something about it. Rather than give into his depression, this individual went out and got an emotional support alligator. I suppose he is not a big fan of Peter Pan and doesn't know about the significance of a clock ticking in the story. I've heard of everything from an emotional support dog, cat, rabbit, and even an emotional support squirrel. I must admit, it is different to hear about a support animal who would love to make a meal out of the other support animals.

What happened to my emotional support rabbit?”
I didn't see any emotional support rabbit.”
'Why does your alligator have rabbit fur in its teeth?”
No reason, ah, I guess, it is some kind of fashion statement among alligators. Yeah, that's it.”

Below are some excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.



Man Says Emotional Support Alligator Helps His Depression
The 65-year-old Pennsylvania resident says his gator Wally eats chicken wings and shares an indoor plastic pond with a smaller rescue alligator named Scrappy

Now there is one way to have a pool party everyone will remember. Invite people over to swim in a pool with your rescue alligators Wally and Scrappy. I suppose to make the experience even more special, during the pool party, guests can take turns tossing chicken wings to the pool dwelling reptiles.

Sixty-five-year-old Joie Henney, of York Haven, says his registered emotional support animal named Wally likes to snuggle and give hugs, despite being a 5-foot-long alligator. Henney says he received approval from his doctor to use Wally as his emotional support animal after not wanting to go on medication for depression.

I suppose everyone in life has to make difficult decisions. What would anyone do if their doctor told said they had to get a support alligator or go on depression medication? I believe it is good he got approval from a trained physician before getting a support alligator. You wouldn't want someone to randomly go out and just get any support alligator without prior approval. I can only imagine what it was like getting the alligator registered as a support animal.

After waiting in line he steps up to the counter.

How can I help you?”
I would like to register my support animal.”
What type of animal is it?”
It is a support alligator.”
You'll have to wait. I have someone ahead of you who has a chicken they want to register as a support animal.”
Not anymore. Unfortunately, my alligator got hungry.”
Oh.”

I don't know a lot about alligators. They have never seemed to me to be creatures you want to be affectionate with, but I may be wrong. I suppose Wally's owner tells people that once you've snuggled and gotten hugs from an alligator, there is no going back to warm-blooded support animals.



Wally was rescued from outside Orlando at 14 months old...Henney acknowledges that Wally is still a dangerous wild animal and could probably tear his arm off, but says he’s never been afraid of him.

I have no medical training. I do find it interesting someone would choose to treat their depression with a support animal that could tear their arm off. I also find it interesting a physician would approve such an arrangement. Maybe there are physicians who approve people having support grizzly bear support animals. There could be python support animals, but I wouldn't think hugs and snuggles from this creature would be a good thing. I know so little about this. There could even be a support tarantula for all I know. If I did know, I would never get any closer than a mile to such a depressed person.

I suppose gone are the days when you think of an emotional support animal, you think of a cute and furry creature. Now we have people suffering from depression who have support animals that could be considered quite dangerous. I suppose cute and furry is for wimps and the life-threatening support animals are going to be the new normal.

The world can be such a crazy place.

Here is a link to the story.


Here is a funny video from It is a Glorious Day.

It is called: Ekim Interviews attorney Shane Shady about changing the name Idaho and more









Sunday, August 11, 2019

In Vermont Politics Has Gone to the Goats, Cats, Gerbils, and Dogs. A Real Story



Anyone who has visited Vermont often comes away thinking it is a pretty unique place. Vermont has stunning outdoor beauty and some great tourist attractions. It also has a town with a mayor who is a goat. This is for real. It is a real goat who is the town's official elected mayor. I would think this was unusual, but the situation becomes even more interesting. It seems the goat's political adversaries were a gerbil name Crystal as well as cats and dogs. I'm sure the birds and fish of the town will have candidates running for mayor next time. The town may not want to be considered fowlaphobic or anti-aquatic species.

Here are some excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.

A 3-year-old Nubian goat named Lincoln is poised to become the first honorary pet mayor of the small Vermont town of Fair Haven.
The nanny goat was chosen this week by townspeople for the one-year post at the community’s Town Meeting Day. Lincoln takes office Tuesday.
The ballot of 16 pets was open to all town residents. Most of the other candidates were dogs and cats; a gerbil named Crystal also was a candidate.



I can only imagine what the debates were like in this race for mayor.

If elected, I can promise the canine community will obey all of the areas in the town where dog pooping is not permitted,” says the dog.”
He's lying and his mother was a bi&*h. Never trust a butt-sniffer,” yells the cat.
The dog starts growling and the cat starts hissing until the goat steps in between them.
Now, now, now, let's just relax. We'll all get a turn to state our position on the issues. We must remember that a town divided against itself cannot stand,” say the Nubian goat named Lincoln.”
I would like to say we ban all animals that eat small rodents,” yells Crystal the gerbil.
Aw, go spin on your wheel,” yells the cat.
I think you came to this meeting after having too much catnip,” yells the dog.
Why don't you go find a leg to hump?” yells the cat.
Things are about to get violent until the debate moderator tells everyone a vet is in the audience who would like to spade and neuter all of them. The town hall debate then goes silent.



Lincoln, with 13 votes, beat out a dog named Sammie that received 10 votes. The other candidates combined for 30 votes.

I'm sure the dog and cat demanded an instant recount. They may have gone to a local court to try and make this happen.

Yes your honor, I request a recount in the election. I would say there was some fowl play involved, but no birds were on the ballot.”
I see no reason to grant a recount. I don't even know why I'm talking to a dog. Motion denied.”
I see your honor. I would like to point out I am taken for a walk by your residence daily after my evening meal.  It is at a time when I take care of my personal business. When you see what is left on your lawn, think of me.”

During its time as mayor, Lincoln will be expected to attend local events, such as marching in the Memorial Day parade wearing a custom-made sash.
Fair Haven, a town of about 2,500 along the border with New York just west of Rutland, does not have a human mayor.

(Sarcasm Alert)

A town with 2,500 people and the best they can do for a mayor is a goat? Maybe next time they'll vote an Amazon Alexa as their mayor.

Oh, what a sight to see a goat mayor wearing a sash in a Memorial Day parade. What better way to honor all those people in the military who died in the service of our country than with a goat mayor? I'm sure it had to be a custom-made sash. Maybe the town had a horse for its last mayor and that Memorial Day sash just didn't fit the new goat mayor.

What other local events would the goat mayor have to attend? Maybe on Groundhog Day, he has to be present at the reading of The Three Billy Goats Gruff.

The balloting for pet mayor was held alongside the regular Town Meeting Day vote, but any town resident could vote.

I can just see a goat outside a polling place with a sign that reads “Vote for the goat and I won't get gruff.” The cat would have a sign “All my opponents are a bunch of hairballs,” and the dog would have a sign “I can sniff out drugs and a victory.” The gerbil would have a sign, but it would be too small for anyone to read.

Town Manager Joseph Gunter said he heard about a small town in northern Michigan trying something similar and he thought it would be a good way to raise money for a local playground. “It was a great way to introduce the elementary school kids to local government,” he said.

Hey, I guess if it's good enough for northern Michigan it's good enough for Vermont. Both of these places experience serious snow and cold during the winter. I wonder if it has any effect on their behavior.

I am so sick and tired of this snow and cold.”
What can we do about it?”
I know, why don't we elect a goat for mayor.”
Sounds like a plan.”

I can just imagine what happens when these elementary school kids become adults.

This election is so stupid.”
Why?”
Just look at this voting ballot. There is not a single goat, dog, cat or gerbil on it. In Vermont, this wouldn't happen.”
I guess things are just different in other places except for northern Michigan. I understand it's the same way there."
I'm glad there is at least there is one more place in the country where voting makes sense to me.”

So, Vermont is now a special place where you can go and experience great maple syrup and then stay to elect the next goat mayor.

Here is a link to the story.


Here is a funny video from It is a Glorious Day.

It's called: Ekim Interviews a Kinda Radical Group Leader