Many people have done things in the name of science. Some have injected themselves with vaccines to test the results. Others have spent time in bug infested areas of the tropics or on frozen patches of ice to conduct their studies. These are researchers who have done things that helped the world to progress and better understand our environment. Then there's Thomas Thwaites. Here is a man who spent time living as a goat to learn about them. It is really true. Someone needs to tell Mr. Thwaites that there really isn't a lot of things goats can provide us besides milk, meat and lawn care. I think we can learn all we need to know about goats by observing them. I'll live like an animal to observe them when we discover an animal species that have flush toilets, DVD players, mixed drinks and can provide a temperature controlled environment. Until then, I'll let people like Mr. Thwaites have the living as a wild creature experience.
Below are excerpts from the story in bold. My valuable insights are in italics.
This is the man so intrigued by goats he gave it all up to live with them in the mountains. Thomas Thwaites spent three days as part of a herd in the Swiss Alps while investigating goat behavior. He used special prosthetic limbs made to enable him to move around on all fours easily. And the designer even considered having a fake stomach fitted to let him eat grass, just like his four-legged friends.
This is just too rich for sarcasm to give an alert. Hey, I wonder if during the time he spent in the Swiss Alps he referred to himself as “Billy G. Gruff?” Did he get frustrated at times and say “That really gets my goat, oh, sorry, I really wasn't talking about you. I don't actually own any goats; I just like to live like them in the Swiss Alps. My bad.” Now the use of the special prosthetic limbs to let him move around on all fours is really interesting. I can only imagine how well he'd use those limbs if it were mating season and the alpha goat took a liking to him. Did the goats think he was a “baaaaaaad” boy? He even considered having a fake stomach? This guy is a piece of work.
Mr. Thwaites cloven-hooved sojourn was aimed at "taking a break from being human. He told Mashable: "My goal was to take a holiday from the pain and worry of being a self-conscious being, able to regret the past and worry about the future."
Mr. Thwaites is a British conceptual designer interested in how humans will use technology to fulfill their desires
Well, nothing says you are not self-conscious more than wearing prosthetic goat limbs and living with a herd of goats in the Swiss Alps. We all know that goats are such deep thinkers. They're probably all into the Zen of not regretting the past and worrying about the future. I think Thwaites needs more than a break from being able to regret. He may need to spend some time with a therapist determining which psychological treatment would be the best course of action. He may only want to work with a therapist who is also a trained goat herder. I'm sure that can be arranged.
But being a goat wasn't a completely care-free existence.
He told Motherboard: "I was able to keep up for maybe a kilometre or so on this migration down the side of this kind of rocky mountain, and then they just left me in the dust.
"So I spent the rest of the day trying to catch up to them, and eventually I found them again, and it was quite nice, in the actual soft grassy pasture bit
I can only imagine if the goats could talk what they were saying to one another.
“What is that freaky guy with the fake goat limbs doing? He should be off somewhere training a sheep dog, drinking beer and chasing women. If I were a human, the last thing I'd do is hang around with goats. Let's face it; we are a bit on the boring side. We don't have sports, cable and can't eat steak. Actually, humans eat us, which really makes you wonder why he's out here.”
“You're right, just keep moving. That idiot with those stupid goat limbs can't keep up with us. He may not realize we're laughing at him. He does look more than a bit ridiculous.”
“I don't want to be around when he has to relieve himself. There are some things even us goats don't want to watch.”
“I agree with you. Let's get as far away from him as possible.”
"But actually heading down the mountain was petrifying. Because if I fell I didn’t have any hands to stop me from hitting a rock."
Thwaites has written a book about his experiences, called ‘GoatMan; How I Took a Holiday from Being Human’.
I think that could be the next big thing for Apple. Computerized prosthetic goat limbs for people who want to experience living among goats on the Swiss Alps. I could see their spokesperson say “Now when you want to live as a goat in the Swiss Alps; you no longer have to worry about heading down the mountain. With our new Apple iGoat limbs, you can run and frolic just like a real goat in the meadows.”
I like the part about him writing a book about his experiences. Here's a conversation I could see taking place at a book store.
“What kind of book would you like? Could I suggest the latest James Patterson, John Green or Veronica Roth?”
“Why no, I want to read about the man who wore prosthetic goat limbs and lived in the Swiss Alps. I want to know about the Zen goat experience. I need to learn how to not regret the past or worry about the future like Swiss Alps goats.”
“You have such high literary standards.”
Goat Man Story
Check out the following for “It Is A Glorious Day.”
YOUTUBE CHANNEL
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