There are many scientists who work in laboratories around the world and try to discover ways to prevent infections. They need to talk to Sheldon Cohen and his colleagues at the Dietrich College of Humanities and Social Sciences at Carnegie Mellon University. According to Cohen, it's time for scientists to pack up their Petri dishes and move onto researching another aspect of science. Cohen and his colleagues have determined that hugging keeps infections away. This is an actual study. I'm not making this up. Let us examine this a little closer.
Below are excerpts from the store in bold. My valuable insights are in italics.
Lead author Sheldon Cohen and colleagues, of the Dietrich College of Humanities and Social Sciences at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, PA, found that frequent hugging - alongside good social support - may lower stress-induced susceptibility to infection, preventing or reducing the risk of illness.
Yeah, it's time to forget everything you've been taught about medicine. Who needs such a thing as preventative medicine when you can simply hug a lot of people for health. Let me tell you how this could go down. The government will create a position of health huggers. Their job will be to hug people as part of preventative medicine. You'll see government scandals of government huggers doing more than hugging. There will be a hugging code of ethics developed, money will be paid to research to determine the most effective hugging methods to prevent illness. Hugging education will be funded by the government. huggers may have to pay to be licensed. Remember you heard it here first.
"The apparent protective effect of hugs may be attributable to the physical contact itself or to hugging being a behavioral indicator of support and intimacy. Either way, those who receive more hugs are somewhat more protected from infection."
I can also imagine you'll see public service announcements on television where doctors will point at the camera and say something like “Only you can prevent infection by hugging others. Don't think of yourself, or how gross the person is or even if they have questionable hygiene habits, you can save a life with a hug.” Will we see guys going to where a group of women is congregated and say “I need some help ladies with infection prevention. My life is in your hands. Oh, please help me live to see another day, so I help my poor destitute family.” I can see single guys keep a copy of the hug study with them to show women in bars.
“It's a healthy way to spend time with me. I'm just trying to help you avoid infections and be healthy. It's all about you.”
To reach their findings, the team asked 404 healthy adults to complete a questionnaire designed to determine their perceived social support. In addition, the participants engaged in 14 consecutive evening telephone interviews with the researchers, in which they discussed their conflicts with others and hugs they had received.
(Sarcasm Alert) Well, this makes it solid science. If you ask a couple of hundred healthy adults to complete a questionnaire and participate a telephone interview, it must be true. I wonder if they also had these participants sign up for a free internet trial and get a discount on oil changes? Maybe the researchers even threw in a few gift cards for fast food restaurants for study participants. Is it possible the people who completed these surveys and participated in the telephone interviews could have just slightly not told the truth? Naaaaah...that's not possible in this day and age. This is solid scientific research leading to the improvement of health for all of mankind, says nobody in touch with reality.
A future common conversation to be held at pick-up bars.
“Why are you hugging me? I don't even know you?”
“It's so we can avoid infections and be healthy. If you had completed a questionnaire and engaged in a telephone interview, you would understand.”
Here is a link to the story.
HUG STUDY PRESS RELEASE
