Monday, June 1, 2015

Actual Study: What's In A Kiss? Eighty Million Bacteria


According to researchers a single kiss for ten seconds can transfer 80 million bacteria. This information has been provided to us by a study published in a Journal called “Microbiome.”

Why did these researchers do this? What's the point? Are they going to now issue health warnings about kissing? Is the government going to create a kissing task force to study the long term health effects of kissing? Are there going to be liberal groups formed to protect people from kissing? Will they chant “I want to live life that's bacteria free. That's why I don't want you to kiss me.”

I love you so much John but I don't want you to kiss me. I can't bear the idea of having millions of your bacteria on me.”
What should we do?”
Simple, I'll make a bacteria free silicon mask of me. You do the same for you. We'll simply kiss using these sanitary silicon masks and not transfer any bacteria.”
Not very romantic.”
Neither is thinking about getting millions of bacteria from you.”
Good point.”




This is an actual study. Below are excerpts of the study in bold and my important insights is in italics.

The researchers - led by Remco Kort, of TNO (Netherlands Organisation for Applied Scientific Research) and adviser to the Micropia museum of microbes in the Netherlands - note that a number of different factors are important for shaping our individual microbiota, including genetic relatedness, diet and age.

Micropia Museum of Microbes in the Netherlands? I guess this is a “must-see” place for all tourist visiting the Netherlands.

I'd love to take a vacation to the Netherlands.”
I'd love to see the Ridderzaal in The Hague.”
Forget that, I want to see the Micropia Museum of Microbes.”
Why?”
I want to learn more about kissing bacteria.
Oh.”

Our individual microbiota depends on our genetics, diet and age?

Oh, I'd love to kiss you. Unfortunately, you are a little old, eat too much junk food, and your family is pretty gross. I don't want to think about the bacteria you have.”
What are you saying?”
You'd have to wear two silicon masks before I'd consider kissing you.
Okay, it's a deal.”




Kort says that as far as he and his colleagues know, "the exact effects of intimate kissing on the oral microbiota have never been studied. We wanted to find out the extent to which partners share their oral microbiota, and it turns out, the more a couple kiss, the more similar they are."

Well, there you go. Why climb a mountain? Because it is there. Why study kissing bacteria? Because nobody else has done it. The more you kiss someone, the more similar their microbiota becomes like yours? What does this mean?

I have you under my spell. You will now act like me.”
Why.”
I've kissed you enough to make your microbiota just like mine.”
Well, then, why aren’t' you under my spell?
My genetics, diet and age means my microbiota easily beats up your microbiota.”
Oh.”

To further study how kissing affects oral microbiota, Kort and his team assessed 21 couples who completed questionnaires on their kissing behavior, including average intimate kiss frequency.

(Sarcasm Alert) If you study 21 couples, I guess that represents all people everywhere. When the couples filled out the questionnaire, I imagine the behavior of people should have been taken into consideration. I could see men with little kissing experience bragging about kiss a lot. A female may have found one of the researchers attractive; they may drastically under report their kissing experience.

We kiss all the time.”
I don't know what he's talking about right now. Just the other day, I told him to keep his microbiota to himself.”
You know you constantly kiss me.”
Not like I would if you were a cute researcher.”
I'm not kissing you again.”
Okay, I'll continue this study with the cute researcher.”



After taking swab samples to determine the composition of each individual's oral microbiota on the tongue and in the saliva, the researchers found that when couples intimately kiss at high frequencies, their salivary microbiota become similar. In fact, nine intimate kisses per day was linked to couples having "significantly shared salivary microbiota.

This is so hot. Is there anything more romantic? It makes a person want to break out into song.

Kiss me intimately at high frequencies baby, I want our salivary microbiota to become similar. Let's kiss intimately nine times a day baby, so we can have similar salivary microbiota. My love, I'm talking significantly shared salivary mictobiota with you and nobody else.”

When this song reaches the top of the music charts, remember you read about it here first.

The researchers further explain:
"Our findings suggest that the shared microbiota among partners is able to proliferate in the oral cavity, but the collective bacteria in the saliva are only transiently present and eventually washed out, while those on the tongue's surface found a true niche, allowing long-term colonization."

There are certain things I don't want to think about. Microbiota proliferating in my oral cavity is one of them. I suppose we should be happy that collective bacteria in our saliva is eventually washed out. I wonder if eating spicy food increases the cleansing process?

I don't think many conversations are going to be held about the long-term colonization of bacteria on the tongue. I would only do this if I wanted late night guest to leave.

It's late.”
I don't have any place to go. What do you want to do now?”
Let's talk about long-term colonization of bacteria on the tongue.”
You know, I'm feeling tired, I think I'll go home.”
Good idea.”



It seems researchers find something we enjoy and do a study to ruin it for us. There was movie theater popcorn, coffee, butter and bowling. Now, researchers are trying to gross us out about kissing.

I say there is nothing more touching that when someone says “I love you and your millions of microbiota. Now, let's share some bacteria!”

Study Press Release

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