Blame it on Chocolate and Beer

My comments are in Italics

In a February 10, 2012 story an American Indian tribe is suing some of the world's largest beer makers claiming they knowingly contributed to devastating alcohol-related problems on South Dakota's Pine Ridge Indian Reservation.

This makes sense to me.  I’m considering a lawsuit against chocolate makers for contributing to the devastating effects of tooth decay, weight gain and sugar rushes.  I mean, sure they don’t actually MAKE me eat chocolate but why should I take responsibility for my actions?

The Oglala Sioux Tribe of South Dakota said it is demanding $500 million in damages for the cost of health care, social services and child rehabilitation caused by chronic alcoholism on the reservation, which encompasses some of the nation's most impoverished counties

I think I’ll demand a few million from the chocolate companies for damages and the cost of my dentist and the high price of belonging to a gym.  It’s not like I actually go to a gym but if I win this lawsuit I just may start.  Especially if they sell chocolate energy bars.

The lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court of Nebraska also targets four beer stores in Whiteclay, a Nebraska town near the reservation's border that, despite having only about a dozen residents, sold nearly 5 million cans of beer in 2010.

These are some real beer drinking residents!  I wonder if the store sells chocolate.

Tribal leaders and activists blame the Whiteclay businesses for chronic alcohol abuse and bootlegging on the Pine Ridge reservation, where all alcohol is banned.  They say most of the stores' customers come from the reservation.

Is this a case of a store serving its customers too good?  Does this store stop at homes on the reservation and force people to the store to purchase alcohol?  That would probably cut down on DUIs.  I say they should throw the lack of a bus from the store in the lawsuit and go for broke!

"You cannot sell 4.9 million 12-ounce cans of beer and wash your hands like Pontius Pilate, and say we've got nothing to do with it being smuggled," said Tom White, the tribe's Omaha-based attorney.

Wow, this store has real power.  The attorney believes the beer place can sentence people to death by drinking beer.  I’m sure there are many death row inmates who would love to get that punishment.  I wonder if the store provides its customers with a beer smuggler discount.

 

The vast majority of Whiteclay's beer store customers have no legal place to consume alcohol since it's banned on Pine Ridge.  State law prohibits drinking outside the stores and the nearest town that allows alcohol is more than 20 miles south.

Gee, I wonder why alcohol is such a problem here.  I suppose it’s a mystery why this ban on alcohol hasn’t been more successful since prohibition worked out so well.  Maybe the attorney believes himself to be an Indian version of Eliot Ness.

The Connecticut-sized reservation has struggled with alcoholism and poverty for generations, despite an alcohol ban in place since 1832.  Pine Ridge legalized alcohol in 1970 but restored the ban two months later and an attempt to allow it in 2004 died after a public outcry.

I’m going to go out on a limb here.  Maybe alcohol isn’t really the problem.  Could it be something a bit deeper?  An alcohol ban that’s been in place for 180 years and hasn’t worked might just be an indication that something is a bit off.

The tribe views the lawsuit as a last resort after numerous failed attempts to curb the abuse through protests and public pressure on lawmakers.

They believe their problems with alcohol have nothing to do with people in the tribe and everything to do with the government?  Talk about washing your hands like Pontius Pilate.

White said the tribal council voted unanimously about four months ago to hire his law firm.

Is it possible the tribal council might have done better to hire some substance abuse specialists instead of an attorney?  It seems to me even if you take away the alcohol you’ll still have the cause for its abuse at the reservation.  I bet taking chocolate out of stores and banning it wouldn’t end obesity or tooth decay.  It’s just easier to blame chocolate.

Nebraska lawmakers considering legislation this year to limit the types of alcohol sold in areas like Whiteclay.  The measure would require local authorities to ask the state to designate the area an "alcohol impact zone."  

Can you imagine a "chocolate imapct zone?"  I’m afraid when this doesn’t work these people will find another substance to blame for their problems.  I hope it’s not chocolate as that’s the substance I’m busy blaming all my problems on.

PhDs Who Think We're All Stupid

This column falls under the heading of “PhDs who feel we’re ALL stupid” or “Who actually funds this crap?”  My comments are in italics.

An editorial authored by University of Cincinnati (UC) diabetes researchers published in the Feb. 7, 2012, issue of the journal Cell Metabolism sheds light on the biological factors contributing to rising rates of obesity and discusses strategies to reduce body weight.

I see this as a way for people who work at the University of Cincinnati to justify their pay by wasting time complicating a simple issue.  Their goal seems to be to get everyone confused about obesity by providing absolute nonsense from worthless research in a study.  This will enable them to get more money to fund more idiotic studies.  What a way to make a living. 

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control, about one-third of U.S. adults are obese, a number that continues to climb.

Well, gee, who is at fault here?  Are there roaming bands of food thugs forcing people to overeat? 

“Please don’t hurt me.”

“Hey, if you don’t eat the entire chocolate cake I have you’re not getting out of this alive.”

“Oh no, a food thug has me!”

"While we don't usually think of it this way, body weight is regulated. How much we weigh is influenced by a number of biological systems, and this is part of what makes it so hard for people to lose weight and keep it off," says Randy Seeley, PhD, Donald C. Harrison Endowed Chair, director of the Cincinnati Diabetes and Obesity Center.

“Huh?  I’m not a PhD but even I know how much we weigh is influenced by what we eat and how much we exercise or don’t exercise.  Did Randy Seeley, PhD ever watch an episode of “The Biggest Loser?”

"To understand the obesity epidemic, we must figure out how our environment alters these biological systems to encourage weight gain."

Are they trying to say that having fast food restaurants everywhere is what causes people to be fat, who wouldn't be fat, except for having fast food restaurants everywhere?  Gyms are everywhere also.  Why doesn't that cause people to be normal weight? 

Seeley says a big part of the environment that encourages weight gain is the availability and consumption of calorically dense, high-fat foods - in particular, what we eat can alter the brain regions that regulate body weight.

You eat too much fast food and your brain changes?  Maybe a PSA campaign should be waged that states “Eating too much junk foot makes you fat and stupid."  I'm wondering how much junk food was eaten by the people who did this study. 

"Evolutionary speaking, we are designed to want to eat foods that are high in fat and gain weight because it made it easier to survive times when food was not available," he continues. "However, that is no longer a real concern since food is almost always available, but we still have a biological desire to eat these calorically dense foods. So, how do we intervene and change this drive?"

Wow, if you’re fat you’re a victim of having caveman genetics?  I think the bigger question here is if this was true then why isn’t EVERYBODY obese?  Where does the evolutionary biological desire go for people who have normal weight?  Are such people caveman genetic deprived?  If you want to know how to intervene and change this evolutionary biological desire just go see Jenny Craig or Weightwatchers as I'm sure they know all about it.

Seeley says there are several key points in successful therapeutic interventions for the population facing social, financial and health consequences of obesity.

Being fat has social, financial AND health consequences? 

"Why didn't you pay your rent?"

"I had to score some chocolate covered peanuts and Doritos.  I think I need to get to junk food rehab or something."

"Oh it's terrible to watch a person's caveman genetics control them."

"As we understand the molecular interaction between what we eat and these brain circuits that regulate our body weight, we can design interventions that reduce the body weight that our bodies defend. This will mean that people trying to lose weight would be able to work with their biology rather than trying to use will power to overcome their biology that pushes them back to their obese state.”

When I read stuff like this I wonder if there is a course you take to earn a PhD titled “As a PhD you can write anything, no matter how stupid it sounds and people will believe it because you’ve labeled it as a study.”  This is the kind of drivel that justifies obese people feeling helpless and believing they’re victims.  After reading this a fat person might think they're not responsible for their obesity.  They'll simply blame their their genetics and feel there's nothing they can do.  If people want to lose weight they need to not read stupid studies and start watching “Biggest Loser” then alter their lives accordingly. 

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