Saturday, August 3, 2019

Court Determines a Flatulent Supervisor is NOT a Bully. A Real Story



David Hingst is an engineer from Australia. He had a serious problem in his workplace. Hingst had a supervisor who would fart around him up to six times a day. He had a name for his supervisor, Hingst called him Mr. Stinky. He probably believed his supervisor had total control of his flatulence and would only release his internal gas pressure around him. Hingst felt he was being bulled by enduring so many supervisor farts every day. The Australian court ruled this was not the case. I now believe the American court system may be the second craziest court system in the world.

Here are some excerpts from the story with my valuable insights are in italics.

MELBOURNE, Australia (AP) — An Australian appeals court on Friday dismissed a bullying case brought by an engineer who accused his former supervisor of repeatedly breaking wind toward him. The Victoria state Court of Appeal upheld a Supreme Court judge’s ruling that even if engineer David Hingst’s allegations were true, flatulence did not necessarily constitute bullying.

Can you imagine going to discuss this case with an attorney?

Do you feel your supervisor is unfairly using their position of authority over you?”
Yes.”
Is it sexual harassment?”
No, I'm being bullied by my supervisor”
How so?
Well, he farts around me all the time. He usually farts around me up to half a dozen times a day. My work is suffering due to lack of oxygen. The live plants on my desk have all died and even the plastic ones aren't doing too good.”

The attorney rolls his eyes and sighs.

Can you pay for our legal services?”
Money is not an issue.?

The attorney smiles and becomes energetic

Why, we'll sue that flatulent bully of a supervisor. He can't stink up an office, damage plastic plants with his stench and get away with it. He's going to pay for those farts.”

Hingst said he would take his case to the High Court, Australia’s final court of appeal.
The 56-year-old is seeking 1.8 million Australian dollars ($1.3 million) damages from his former Melbourne employer, Construction Engineering.



He wanted a court to award him $1.3 million for dealing with a farting supervisor? I guess there is gold in them there farts. Who knew?

The appeal judges found Hingst “put the issue of Mr. Short’s flatulence to the forefront” of his bullying case, arguing that “flatulence constituted assaults.”
The court found that Short did not bully or harass Hingst. Hingst had failed to establish that Construction Engineering had been negligent.

(Sarcasm Alert)

This guy Hingst tried to make the case that he was assaulted by farts?

Did he touch you?”
No.”
Did he hit you with an object?”
No.”
Did he threaten you with a weapon of some kind?”
No.”
How exactly did he assault you?”
He, he, he farted at least half a dozen times around me daily. The stench was so awful, I felt light-headed and nauseated. It was worse than listening to a song sung by Yoko Ono.”
We'll arrest that flatulent jerk. He can't assault our citizens with his rogue farting.”

He argues he was bullied in the workplace until his job was terminated.
Construction Engineering argued his job was terminated because of a downturn in construction work due to the global financial crisis.



I can just imagine filling out forms for unemployment.

Question: What was the reason you were let go from your company?
Answer: I had a flatulent supervisor who bullied me with his farts.

I suppose it is good that Hingst didn't try to get workman's compensation for having a condition called “Flatulent Sensitivity Syndrome” (FSS). I know there is no such thing, but I'm sure it may be just a matter of time before FSS is considered a real condition that prevents people from having a job.

The world is a crazy place.

Here is a link to the story.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/australasia/farting-bullying-court-work-australia-verdict-damages-a8844971.html

Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE!

If you think THIS is a little funny. Check out my book

The Longer You Live The Older You Get


Or my other one

I Speak Cursive Like a Baby Boomer




Don't forget to watch this funny video from It is a Glorious Day

Cat Poop Psychosis Story (It's Real)









Friday, August 2, 2019

Looking for Bovine Love in all the Wrong Places. A Real Story



We should all realize how animals are like humans. They eat, sleep, have flatulence and are always on the outlook for the perfect mate. This is a very difficult situation for cows living on farms. I suppose when cows get involved in the wrong relationship the results can be quite dramatic.

You are so full of bull”
Oh, yeah, and your problem is you're just one big heifer.”
I can remember when you called me your little dairy queen.”
I remember when you called me your top sirloin.”
What happened to us?
I don't know. It may be time for us to move on.”

Due to the advancements in modern technology, it is now possible for a cow to find their perfect mate with a dating app. This is for real. It is called 'Tudder' and is considered a combination of Tinder and udder. It is obviously a marketing genius that came up with such a name.

Here are some excerpts from the story with my brilliant analysis.

It lets farmers swipe right on cattle they like the look of.
They are then directed to a page on the SellMyLivestock
website where they can browse more pictures and data about the animals before deciding whether to buy.

Can you imagine a farmer looking at this?

I have to get Boris a mate. Him and old Bessie just don't get along like they used to back in the day.

The farmer is dedicated to finding his bull the perfect love and looks at the app and points to a cow he sees.

Yeah, now that cow ought to just bring Boris the Bull...udder delight. Why look at how she chews her cud, you know how Boris likes the wild cud chewer types.”

Valuable information is available on matters like milk yield and protein content, or calving potential, explained Doug Bairner, CEO of Hectare Agritech.



Farmer says, “Oh, she is a beauty, but she can't kick out the milk like we want, so on to the next cow. This other one is ugly, but she can flood the place with milk and will probably plop out calves like candy through a Pez dispenser. We'll take her.”

I'm sure a government agency sometime in the future will require this listing of cattle's flatulence creation levels. If they had that on human dating apps, I'm sure dating would be very different.

Matching livestock online is even easier than it is to
match humans because there’s a huge amount of data that sits behind these wonderful animals that predict what their offspring will be,” he said.

I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I believe their offspring will be cows or bulls. I doubt we're looking for cattle to provide the world with bovine lawyers or physicians.

As with the human equivalent, farmers use smartphones to first choose whether they are looking for a male or female, swiping through photos - right for yes and left for no - until they find a match.

I can just imagine a farmer looking at these pictures on his phone.

Nope, this one looks too gull-a-bull. Nope, this one looks too much like a nin-cow-poop, but this one seems like a low-flatulence lovely.”



James Bridger said, “There’s nothing better than seeing an animal in its home, its natural habitat.”

Couldn't a computer hacker have fun with this one? They could post pictures of cows at a bar on a beach having drinks. Other pictures could show cows in clubs dancing or at sporting events. They could be called Bovine Beach Party Cows or Wild Party Heifers or even Sports Bull. I'm sure this app could get the other farm animals jealous. Roosters would want to know if they could choose their chickens, goats tired of the same females on the farm want something different. Male dogs would want a new b&^ch.”

So, there you have it. I wonder if people would be upset if cows have more success finding a mate using a dating app than them?

They would probably yell, “This is a bunch of bull.”

Here is a link to the article

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/tinder-for-cows-matches-livestock-in-the-mood-for-love_n_5c659fa5e4b0bcddd40fadc2


Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE!

If you think THIS is a little funny. Check out my book

The Longer You Live The Older You Get


Or my other one

I Speak Cursive Like a Baby Boomer




Here is a video of the cow App being discussed on the Conan Obrian Show



Here is a link to a funny story on It Is A Glorious Day
It is about a Man Who Lived as a Goat. Real story.




Thursday, August 1, 2019

Live Alligator Tossed Through Wendy's Drive-Through Window. A Real Story


I've eaten at Wendy's many times. I've always enjoyed the food.  The service I experience is always excellent. When eating at Wendy's, I've complimented the staff, used their coupons and may have taken more ketchup than is acceptable. What can I say? I really like ketchup. Nobody from Wendy's has ever said anything to me about my high level of ketchup consumption. That is just one of the many reasons I'm a loyal customer.

A man in Florida went to a Wendy's drive-through. When he got to the window, he did something rather unique. He tossed a 3-foot alligator through the drive-through window. I'm still trying to figure out his motivation for doing such a thing.

Here is an excerpt from the story as well as a link to it.

Gator isn’t on the menu. But a live one was inside a South Florida fast-food restaurant after a man tossed a three-foot reptile through a Wendy’s drive-through window.”




I wonder what kind of strange conversation took place prior to the alligator tossing?

“Welcome to Wendy's may I take your order.”
“Hi, Ah, I ain't got no money for food, but I do have a three-foot alligator. He's a real good lookin' gator. Here, take a look at him and let me know how much food I can get for him.”

The Wendy's employee then witnesses an airborne 3-foot alligator flying through her drive-through window. Faced with this situation, she does what any Wendy's employee would do, she gets her manager. This is to cover herself in case the company has a policy regarding alligators tossed through their drive-through window she does not know about.

I'm sure another very strange conversation took place.

“What?” yells the manager.
“The man said he didn't have any money to buy food. He wants to pay for his order with a 3-foot alligator he tossed through the drive-through window. I just wanted to make sure the company doesn't have any policy in place regarding paying for food with alligators,” the girls says calmly.

The manager scratches his head.

“Well, there is nothing in place that I know, but I better call corporate just to make sure. Where is the alligator now?

“It's only 3-feet long. The poor guy tried to get away and ended up in the garbage. He seems kind of happy in there eating all the tossed burgers.”

“Okay, tell the man to pull off to the side and we'll let him know as soon as we can.”

I'm sure some more strange conversations took place. The motivated manager is probably transferred around until he ends up speaking with a corporate lawyer.

“No, we don't have any policy in place directly addressing the exchanging of wildlife for food, but I may bring it up at the next shareholder's meeting. Why don't you just give the guy some food and send him and his alligator on their way? I'm sure that would solve the problem.”

After getting off the phone, the manager asks the girl working the drive-through window if he can speak with her.

“I just got off the phone with corporate. They said we should just give him some food and send him and his alligator on their way,” says the manager.

The female employee smiles.

“Too late for that now. The man came into the dining area and was mad. He asked for his alligator back. I showed him the garbage can. He got the alligator with its mouth full of burgers. He said there was a place close to here that would take his alligator for payment. After getting the alligator from the garbage, he left,” says the employee.

“Did he say who was going to give him food for the alligator?
“No, he just left.”
“Well, now I've got to call corporate again.”
“Why?”
“Well, if our competition is accepting wildlife as payment for food, we may need to create our own program to accommodate such customers. We can't let the competition get ahead of us.”
“Okay, I'm going back to the drive-through window.
“Be sure to tell me if any more people want to pay with wildlife. We could be on to something.”

If we experience a promotion by fast-food companies to accept payment in the form of wildlife, we all know exactly where it started.

Here is a video about it.



CHECK OUT THIS FUNNY "IT IS A GLORIOUS DAY" VIDEO.

Here is a funny video from It is a Glorious day about attorneys who have primates as clients.  It's a real story.

Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE!

If you think THIS is a little funny. Check out my book

The Longer You Live The Older You Get


Or my other one

I Speak Cursive Like a Baby Boomer





ATTORNEYS WHO REPRESENT PRIMATES







Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Most Americans are Bored for a Third of the Year. A Real Story.



I am like most people and from time to time I get bored with things. This often happens when I'm stuck in a routine doing the same things at the same time day after day. This is when I know it's necessary to change the daily routine in my life. I'll have my breakfast outside instead of sitting inside. I'll have my afternoon snack at least fifteen minutes later than usual. I may even get really crazy and purchase a brand of coffee I've never tried before. When it comes to eliminating the boredom from my life, I know no boundaries.


It seems like I'm different than most Americans. My period of boredom will last a few days or a week or two at most. According to a survey, there are quite a few Americans who spend up to a third of the year feeling bored. How does this happen? Do people feel bored and just get into a routine being bored? What are they doing for the other two-thirds of the year they aren't bored? Could they just be boring people? I guess they haven't had the courage to change their brand of coffee or time of their afternoon snack. I accept that not everyone is as proactive as myself.

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.

For the survey, the researchers defined a boring day as one that involved simply no fun at all. After averaging out responses of all participants, they calculated that Americans experience 131 boring days annually.

They reached that number by converting the average “percentage of a typical week that is not fun/boring/dreaded” — which was 36% — into hours per week, or 60.48 hours. They multiplied that by 52 weeks in a year, then converted it into days: 131.04 boring or unfun days in a year.


So, it is just not a boring day, it is a double whammy of boredom and unfun. I wonder if they calculated days that were occupied with things that could be considered boring but fun. These are things such as watching a funny movie you've seen more than once because your friend ordered pizza from the best local pizza place. Could there be a day that is unfun, but not boring? Such as the day after you forgot to pick your wife up from the airport. I, ah, have no idea what that is like, but, ah, people who have had this experience tell me it is unfun but definitely not boring. So, I think these calculations need to be included in the final statistics of boring days. It will paint a more accurate picture concerning the depts of boredom and unfun for adults in our society.


Full-time, “adult” responsibilities, particularly work and parenting, appear to be sucking the fun out of American adults’ lives. The results showed that 60% of participants believe their life is just too “grown-up.” In fact, 73% miss aspects of what they remember from childhood, such as spending time with friends (50%), fewer responsibilities (52%), and attending birthday parties (25%).


(Sarcasm Alert)

What are we going to have now? An unfun crisis in America with panel discussions on how to address this national epidemic and how much taxes should increase to deal with it. Gee, life being too grown up must be a terrible thing. Will there be a national drive to include a roundabout and swings at every workplace? Generations of people for thousands of years have dealt with being an adult. I'm sure those people who lived through the depression and World War II felt terrible about things being so grown up for them. Missing aspects of childhood like not having responsibilities is great for children, but children can't drive, vote, consume adult beverages. Maybe the responsibilities associated with being an adult is a mixture of unfun, responsibilities, and independence. These could be considered some of the perks of things being too grown-up. I don't know people who stop attending birthday parties when they are adults. I find adult birthday parties a bit more fun and enjoy the ways they can become too grown-up.


Despite so much boredom, the survey showed that Americans still spend an average of $303 each month on fun activities or about $3,500 annually. For parents, that number balloons to about $5,000 on the year.

I like how they don't round off numbers when determining the amount of money people spend on fun activities, it is $303 a month. That averages out to $10.10 a day. I'm sure you may think you are having fun at $10 a day, but without that ten cents, it is probably just another boring and unfun day that is part of the third of the year you spend being bored.

I like how parents spend even more on having fun each year. I suppose parents are more interested in having fun than single people. Could it be they are more dedicated to having fun with their children? Does this mean boredom lessens when you have a family? Is having a family more fun or does it just cost more? Maybe parents have to invest more in fun as a parent because they feel their world requires them to be too grown-up. It could also be because their fun is more cost-effective for enjoying a lot of family discounts.


(Sarcasm Alert)

Their cost could be $416.66 a month. A small price to pay to have those special moments where they don't feel too grown-up. Isn't it worth eliminating the unfun and boring days that occur a third of the year? Should adult versions of twister be part of a tax refund program? It could lead to bored numerous adults roaming the world suffering the terrible effects of feeling too grown up and forced to deal with unfun in their world. We better do something before it becomes a national crisis.

Below is a link to the article.




Tuesday, July 30, 2019

Wife Carrying Championship. A Real Story.



I can honestly say my wife does not weigh too much. I still am not motivated to carry her many places. This attitude could change since I discovered the North American Wife Carrying Championship. I'm sure things between us would change if winning money or beer is involved.

No dessert for you, we're in training.”
I'm still hungry.”
Why?”
I guess that lettuce leaf and carrot just didn't fill me up.”
Oh quit complaining. I'm the one doing the carrying.”
Why did you eat my dessert?”
“I'm willing to absorb calories that could damage your beautiful figure. It's the right thing to do in this situation. I'll need the energy.”
What if I starve to death?”
Don't let that happen until I see if there is a dead wife carrying championship.”
\^$^%%&$&$(@#@((”
Or maybe swearing wife championship. I know I married a true winner.”

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.


The legend behind the North American Wife Carrying Championship is based on the 19th century Finnish legend "Ronkainen the Robber" who had high qualifications for the men he accepted into his band. To prove their worth, men had to compete through a difficult course with a heavy sack (or woman grabbed from neighboring villages) on their back. The first modern-day wife-carrying event was held in Finland in 1991 and foreign contestants were admitted in 1995.

Oh, those fun-loving people from Finland. What a great place to have a legend about a robber who required men to carry one thing or another on their back through a course to join them. I'm sure it was a time before resumes and employment application forms.

To join these guys a man could just carry a heavy sack or a woman grabbed from a nearby village. If I had to choose to run a course with a heavy sack or a female on my back, I'd start looking for any female adult midget available in a nearby village.

You have to respect the Finnish people's dedication to preserving history. I can imagine how keeping the memory of Ronkainen the Robber alive is very important. They kept this fun sport to themselves for five years before opening up this special event to the rest of the world. I'm sure Ronkainen the Robber is so very proud.


Wife carrying is based on husband-and-wife teams racing with the husband carrying the wife through a regulation length obstacle course featuring log hurdles, sand traps, and the always popular "widow maker" water hazard. The fastest two teams from the qualifying round then compete head-to-head in a final heat.

My wife has been known to be a very harsh critic of my driving, I can only imagine what she would be like if I had to carry her through an obstacle course.


You aren't running fast enough to make it over the log hurdle.”
Yes I am, we'll be fine.”
It wouldn't hurt you to speed things up if you want to win this race.”
Oh, yeah, why don't you carry me then?”
In case you didn't notice I'm the wife and you are the husband.”
How could I forget? You're busy telling me how to do something.”
Be careful in the water hazard. I don't want my hair to get too messed up.”
It's a water hazard. It's not designed to complement your hairstyle.”
I know, I'm just asking you to be careful. Pay attention when we are in the sand. You know how I hate it when it gets in my clothes.”
I'll be doing the driving when we go home.”
Why?.”
I'm driving without you. I think you need to find another guy to carry you home.”
*&^^&#*@!#^!”
Okay, I'll see about getting you entered into the swearing wife championship.”



The winning couple takes home the wife's weight in Goose Island Oktoberfest beer, five times her weight in cash, and an entry into the World Championship, which takes place in Finland the following summer. 


Now, what type of winning to take would be a difficult decision. I can see where the winning guy would be so very happy with getting five times his wife's weight in beer. I would love to win five times my wife's weight in beer. If I had the option of having five times her weight in Diva Vodka, that would be even more of a motivation to win this race. I'm sure the women involved would want five times her weight in cash. Too bad they don't have options to compromise such as three times her weight in beer and two times her weight in cash. This could resolve a lot of issues.

This seems like a wonderful and exotic competition to watch or to be a participant. I hope one day they have some type of competitions for someone like me. How about getting your wife to swear at you in the quickest amount of time? I would be a favorite. There could be a championship competition to see who could ignore their wife the longest as she talks about her family championship. I would match my skills against anyone in that category. I don't know what historical Finnish robber group I would qualify to replicate in the modern world, but if it involves winning cash or alcohol, I am more than motivated.

Below is a link to the story.



Monday, July 29, 2019

Irish Woman Marries 300-Year-Old Ghost Pirate. A Real Story.



I've known some people who wanted to get married who knew they would have challenges placed on them by society. Challenges that would increase the difficulty of their marriage being a success. These are individuals who have an interracial marriage, interfaith marriages, a huge difference in age or even a Yankees fan who wants to marry a Mets fan. Many people will see these couples and find it strange these people could have enough in common to commit to spending their lives together as a married couple.

A woman in Ireland took on some challenges for her marriage that were literally out of this world. She married a man who was a ghost and had been a Haitian pirate 300 years ago. I can only imagine the obstacles that they would have to face and overcome to become a married couple. It would have been something to hear the woman tell her mother about her serious boyfriend.

Mom, I want you to know I am dating the most fantastic person.”
“I am very happy for you dear.”
What is his name?”
Jack.”
What is his last name.”
He doesn't have a last name. It's just Jack.”
Don't you think that is a bit strange?”
Oh, you haven't heard strange yet. There are a few things you need to know about him before you and dad meet him.”
Okay, what do we need to know?”
Actually, he is a bit older than I am.”
How much older?”
A few hundred years.”
Huh?”
You see, he is a 300-year-old ghost. I know it sounds strange, but I really think I'm in love with him.”
I don't know what to say. You know your father and I are from New York City. We may be able to live with this, but it's important for us to know if he is a Mets fan or a Yankees fan.”
I think he could be from Pittsburgh.”
Why?”
He's a Pirate.”
Oh.”

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.


A WOMAN who claims she married the ghost of a 300-year-old Haitian pirate says she needed an exorcism after their relationship turned sour.
She says she was nearly killed by her ghost-husband after she broke off their relationship.
The woman claims she underwent an exorcism to rid herself of the spirit of her former lover after he had ‘possessed her.’

I imagine the wedding vows when you marry a ghost would be different. You couldn't say “Til death do we part” because one of you is already dead. I suppose you could substitute “Til we undergo an exorcism.” If there came a time when a significant amount of living and ghost marriages were taking place around the world things could be different for divorce attorneys. Instead of seeking a fair settlement, they may offer exorcism at a reasonable price. You could be represented by the law offices of Bolger, Bolger and Father McSmith.” Should someone have an argument with their ghost spouse, and their ghost spouse tries to possess them, should they call 911 or an emergency exorcist?

I can just imagine a couple seeing a human and ghost marriage counselor.

What seems to be the problem?”
I think he is always lying to me.”
Why?”
I can see right through him.”
He's a ghost. Seeing right through him is part of being married to him.”
Oh.”


I know the symptoms of possession and part of it is ill health,” Amanda said.
After the spirit of her dog, Toby, was apparently aggressive towards Jack, her fears worsened.

She began to experience frequent health problems after being ‘intimate’ with Jack and before long, she was admitted to hospital with sepsis.
I almost died and I was in hospital for a week,” she said.
I had to take my wedding ring off when I went into surgery. That must have cut the energy link between us because I felt totally different after the operation.”

(Sarcasm Alert)

This is one lady with some serious connections to the spirit world. She has a dog who has a spirit that was aggressive toward her ghost husband. I suppose it is a good thing it wasn't her dog and just her dog's spirit. If her dog's spirit bit her ghost husband, could he have gotten ghost rabies?


I will leave the mental image of a woman being intimate with a 300-year-old Pirate ghost husband named Jack to the imagination of others. I do wonder they used protection and had engaged in family planning. I'd hate to think they weren't careful and could have started a half human, half ghost family before they were ready for it.

I suppose the medical profession now knows if a woman married to a ghost comes down with sepsis, it may be cured by simply removing the living spouse's wedding ring.

Amanda eventually decided that ending the relationship was the best thing for her health, but after telling husband Jack of her plans, he threatened to kill her if she went through with it.

It was terrifying seeing a completely different side to the lovely spirit I had seen before. But I knew in my heart that if I didn’t get rid of him, my health was getting so bad, that I was probably going to die anyway.” Amanda said.

In December, Amanda went through with the exorcism and is now rid of her former partner, Jack.

I think the modern soap opera will now have a new type of relationship to exploit for their viewers. A woman marrying a ghost and all the drama that goes with it. I could be wrong and it may have already been done, but I'm not aware of this storyline. The shows could be about a woman's ghost husband cheats on her with another ghost, she cheats on him with another living person, he cheats on her with another living person, she cheats on him with another ghost. The dog's spirit is confused about who to bark at and who to bite.

The stress of ending a relationship is never easy. It's probably even more difficult when you are married to a spouse that is already dead. If you threaten to kill them, they'll laugh. I'm sure Jack the Pirate ghost tried to talk her out of it.

Jack, I think our relationship no longer works. I think it's time to end things.”
Don't say such a thing.”
I'm sorry, but I want an exorcism.”
Is it because I'm over three hundred years old? Is it because I'm a Pirate? Is it because I don't have a last name? Is it because you can't take a life insurance policy out on me?”
It is none of those things. I'm tired of you possessing me, not being able to take me out to a nice restaurant because you don't eat or even being able to go on vacation together and more. I'm also tired of you threatening to kill me.”
Oh that, see, what I meant by that is if you were dead, we could be together even more. With you living and me being dead, it can get a bit frustrating. Especially since you can't haunt houses, move through walls and always need to eat to stay alive. I have frustration as well.”


Amanda went through with the exorcism and is now rid of her former partner, Jack.
She says that her health problems have miraculously cleared up since and that her experience has taught her to stay away from spirits and the dead from now on - or just not to marry them, at least.

(Sarcasm Alert)

This is some wise information from a woman who knows all about it. Maybe she could write a book about her experiences and go on the lecture circuit. Her book could be called Why You Shouldn't Marry a Ghost And I Should Know. Young adults will need to learn you can't have a healthy relationship with someone you met through an Ouija board, during a séance or at a haunted house. I'm sure it's something that should be taught in schools. Maybe a course called Why You Should Never Consider Dating Dead People may someday be a requirement for graduation.

Below is a link to the story.



Sunday, July 28, 2019

Being Left Handed or Right Handed Determines Approach to Mental Health. A Real Story.

I am right-handed and I have a friend who is left-handed. He is so left-handed we have given him the unique nickname of Lefty. I never saw a lot of difference between Lefty and the rest of us. He threw the ball and batted differently than the rest of us when we played baseball as kids. Lefty did have to learn how to play music on a special left-handed guitar when we were teenagers. To this day, nobody can make a sharp left-handed turn when driving quite like Lefty. It appears researchers have determined there is more difference between me and Lefty than just guitars, playing baseball and driving. It seems a study was done that shows Lefty has a different emotional structure than myself. I wonder what exactly this means.

Hey Lefty, why are you so upset?”
Oh, how would you understand? You, right-handed people, are all the same. Living in your right handed world and dominating all those of us who are left-handed. Making us accommodate when it comes to guitars, car cup holders as well as desks in schools and lots of other things. It's obvious you don't have the same emotional structure as myself.”
How would you feel about going out and letting me treat you to some beer and ribs at the sports bar?”
Okay.”
I don't think we're as different as you think.”
I want to sit on the left side of the sports bar and park on the left side of the building.”
It's a deal.”

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.

For the research, Casasanto and his team stimulated the two brain hemispheres of 25 healthy patients with a painless electrical current for 20 minutes daily over five days. The research team wanted to see if they could cause their subjects to experience approach emotions like enthusiasm, interest, and excitement through stimulation depending on whether they were right-handed, left-handed, or in-between. Participants were asked to report levels of positive emotions like pride and happiness at the start and end of the study period.


I can only imagine how they recruited the 25 participants for this study. Did they tell these people they are going to go to a lab and get jolted for 20 minutes a day by an electrical current for five days? I assume financial compensation was mentioned and these people were told the researchers would make it worth their while. I hope.

It is possible the study participants may experience enthusiasm as well as excitement at the thought they are getting paid for being part of the research study. They could also feel pride and happiness they survived of getting zapped by an electrical current for 20 minutes a day for five days.

Tell me more about the new job you have.”
Well, I go to a laboratory, they hook me up and zap me with electrical current.”
I don't understand. Didn't you go to school?”
Yes, I went to a trade school to be an electrician.”
Now, it makes sense.”


As hypothesized, right-handed participants who were zapped in the left hemisphere reported greater levels of positivity, as did lefties when their right hemisphere was stimulated. When they were zapped in the same hemisphere as their dominant hand, there was no change in such emotions.

As the old saying goes “Now that I know this, what do I do with it?”

Does this mean if you are feeling depressed and you need to be zapped, they have to know what side of your head to zap so you'll experience positivity? Does this mean some people should carry a taser with them and if they start feeling depressed, they just zap a side of their head with the taser to feel better?

What happens if medical professionals make a mistake and zap the wrong hemisphere of a person's brain? Could the left-handed person then become a homicidal maniac because some incompetent individual zapped the wrong part of their brain? I'm sure the family members of the wrongfully zapped left-handed person would speak to a personal injury attorney to see if they have a case of brain hemisphere zapping malpractice. It may eventually develop into a new area of the law. I'm sure the victim of the malpractice zapping could get serious compensation if they started using their right hand.


This suggests strong righties should get normal treatment, but they make up only 50 percent of the population. Strong lefties should get the opposite treatment and people in the middle shouldn’t get the treatment at all.”

How do you determine if a person is a strong leftie? Do you throw stuff at them and see if they catch it with their left hand? Do you see if they write and throw stuff back at you with their left hand? There has to be a test to determine your degree of left-handedness.

It seems right-handed crazy people have nothing to worry about and can get normal treatment. We will get the standardized brain zapping treatment. It is left-handed crazy people who will have all the problems. Maybe left-handed people should wear a medical alert bracelet that says in case of mental illness zap the opposite side of a right-handed mentally ill person's brain. I'm sure doing this could avoid a lot of problems.

Below is a link to the story.