I've known some people
who wanted to get married who knew they would have challenges placed
on them by society. Challenges that would increase the difficulty of
their marriage being a success. These are individuals who have an
interracial marriage, interfaith marriages, a huge difference in age
or even a Yankees fan who wants to marry a Mets fan. Many people
will see these couples and find it strange these people could have
enough in common to commit to spending their lives together as a
married couple.
A woman in Ireland took
on some challenges for her marriage that were literally out of this
world. She married a man who was a ghost and had been a Haitian
pirate 300 years ago. I can only imagine the obstacles that they
would have to face and overcome to become a married couple. It would
have been something to hear the woman tell her mother about her
serious boyfriend.
“Mom, I want you to
know I am dating the most fantastic person.”
“I am very happy for you dear.”
“I am very happy for you dear.”
“What is his name?”
“Jack.”
“What is his last
name.”
“He doesn't have a
last name. It's just Jack.”
“Don't you think that
is a bit strange?”
“Oh, you haven't
heard strange yet. There are a few things you need to know about him
before you and dad meet him.”
“Okay, what do we
need to know?”
“Actually, he is a
bit older than I am.”
“How much older?”
“A few hundred
years.”
“Huh?”
“You see, he is a
300-year-old ghost. I know it sounds strange, but I really think I'm
in love with him.”
“I don't know what to
say. You know your father and I are from New York City. We may be
able to live with this, but it's important for us to know if he is a
Mets fan or a Yankees fan.”
“I think he could be
from Pittsburgh.”
“Why?”
“He's a Pirate.”
“Oh.”
Below are excerpts from
the story with my valuable insights in italics.
A WOMAN who claims she
married the ghost of a 300-year-old Haitian pirate says she needed an
exorcism after their relationship turned sour.
She says she was nearly
killed by her ghost-husband after she broke off their relationship.
The woman claims she
underwent an exorcism to rid herself of the spirit of her former
lover after he had ‘possessed her.’
I imagine the wedding
vows when you marry a ghost would be different. You couldn't say
“Til death do we part” because one of you is already dead. I
suppose you could substitute “Til we undergo an exorcism.” If
there came a time when a significant amount of living and ghost
marriages were taking place around the world things could be
different for divorce attorneys. Instead of seeking a fair
settlement, they may offer exorcism at a reasonable price. You could
be represented by the law offices of Bolger, Bolger and Father
McSmith.” Should someone have an argument with their ghost spouse,
and their ghost spouse tries to possess them, should they call 911 or
an emergency exorcist?
I can just imagine a
couple seeing a human and ghost marriage counselor.
“What seems to be the
problem?”
“I think he is always
lying to me.”
“Why?”
“I can see right
through him.”
“He's a ghost.
Seeing right through him is part of being married to him.”
“Oh.”
“I know the symptoms of
possession and part of it is ill health,” Amanda said.
After the spirit of her
dog, Toby, was apparently aggressive towards Jack, her fears
worsened.
She began to experience
frequent health problems after being ‘intimate’ with Jack and
before long, she was admitted to hospital with sepsis.
“I almost died and I was
in hospital for a week,” she said.
“I had to take my
wedding ring off when I went into surgery. That must have cut the
energy link between us because I felt totally different after the
operation.”
(Sarcasm Alert)
This is one lady with
some serious connections to the spirit world. She has a dog who has
a spirit that was aggressive toward her ghost husband. I suppose it
is a good thing it wasn't her dog and just her dog's spirit. If her
dog's spirit bit her ghost husband, could he have gotten ghost
rabies?
I will leave the mental
image of a woman being intimate with a 300-year-old Pirate ghost
husband named Jack to the imagination of others. I do wonder they
used protection and had engaged in family planning. I'd hate to
think they weren't careful and could have started a half human, half
ghost family before they were ready for it.
I suppose the medical
profession now knows if a woman married to a ghost comes down with
sepsis, it may be cured by simply removing the living spouse's
wedding ring.
Amanda eventually decided
that ending the relationship was the best thing for her health, but
after telling husband Jack of her plans, he threatened to kill her if
she went through with it.
“It was terrifying
seeing a completely different side to the lovely spirit I had seen
before. But I knew in my heart that if I didn’t get rid of him, my
health was getting so bad, that I was probably going to die anyway.”
Amanda said.
In December, Amanda went
through with the exorcism and is now rid of her former partner, Jack.
I think the modern soap
opera will now have a new type of relationship to exploit for their
viewers. A woman marrying a ghost and all the drama that goes with
it. I could be wrong and it may have already been done, but I'm not
aware of this storyline. The shows could be about a woman's ghost
husband cheats on her with another ghost, she cheats on him with
another living person, he cheats on her with another living person,
she cheats on him with another ghost. The dog's spirit is confused
about who to bark at and who to bite.
The stress of ending a
relationship is never easy. It's probably even more difficult when
you are married to a spouse that is already dead. If you threaten to
kill them, they'll laugh. I'm sure Jack the Pirate ghost tried to
talk her out of it.
“Jack, I think our
relationship no longer works. I think it's time to end things.”
“Don't say such a
thing.”
“I'm sorry, but I
want an exorcism.”
“Is it because I'm
over three hundred years old? Is it because I'm a Pirate? Is it
because I don't have a last name? Is it because you can't take a
life insurance policy out on me?”
“It is none of those
things. I'm tired of you possessing me, not being able to take me
out to a nice restaurant because you don't eat or even being able to
go on vacation together and more. I'm also tired of you threatening
to kill me.”
“Oh that, see, what I
meant by that is if you were dead, we could be together even more.
With you living and me being dead, it can get a bit frustrating.
Especially since you can't haunt houses, move through walls and
always need to eat to stay alive. I have frustration as well.”
Amanda went through with
the exorcism and is now rid of her former partner, Jack.
She says that her health
problems have miraculously cleared up since and that her experience
has taught her to stay away from spirits and the dead from now on -
or just not to marry them, at least.
(Sarcasm Alert)
This is some wise
information from a woman who knows all about it. Maybe she could
write a book about her experiences and go on the lecture circuit.
Her book could be called Why You Shouldn't Marry a Ghost And I Should
Know. Young adults will need to learn you can't have a healthy
relationship with someone you met through an Ouija board, during a
séance or at a haunted house. I'm sure it's something that should
be taught in schools. Maybe a course called Why You Should Never
Consider Dating Dead People may someday be a requirement for
graduation.
Below is a link to the
story.
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