Valentine's Day is one of my least favorite holidays. Like all holidays, it comes with expectations. Women expect certain things from the ones they love. Men find it confusing to meet these expectations or even know there are such things. The other aspect of this holiday I dislike are the comments I always get from people.
“What are you going to get your wife for Valentine's Day?”
“You've been married a long time. You should get something special for your wife on Valentine's Day.”
“You know your wife will be unhappy if you forget Valentine's Day.”
“Just because you've been married so long doesn't mean you can forget Valentine's Day.”
I then say “I don't need to get my wife anything for Valentine's Day. Being married to me is like celebrating Valentine's Day 365 days a year.”
After uttering this phrase, I've seen eyes roll, heads shake and heard women threaten my life. When people refuse to believe me, I simply look at them, shrug my shoulders and continue to smile. I consider the expletives and character attacks I experience a sign of success. My wife says being married to her is the same thing. Many couples have their own Valentine's Day traditions. We have ours.
It's common to celebrate this holiday with chocolates, cards, presents and dinner. Around the world Valentine's Day is celebrated a bit differently.
Scotland
In Scotland, Valentine's Day seems to be designed for those who are not in a relationship. On this day, the first man or woman an individual sees on the street becomes their Valentine. I can imagine there are guys camped outside modeling agencies the night before Valentine's Day. Women will be found outside the nearest professional athletic complex.
Here they have a Valentine's Day tradition called “une loterie d’amour” which translates “drawing for love.” Men enter a house and women enter a house opposite to where the men are located. The men and women in these houses must be able to see one another through a window. A man and women will then shout at one another from the window to try and negotiate the terms of becoming a couple. If a man or women don't like who they see in the window, they simply leave and someone else comes to the window. Can you imagine this taking place in the United States? There are people who don't handle rejection well. These people would turn around and expose certain body parts while making socially unacceptable hand gestures to those in the opposite window. The best part of this French tradition is when it's over. Women who don't get dates have a huge bonfire. They toss pictures and things from men who have rejected them into the fire. While doing this they scream expletives about men. Wouldn't this be a perfect fund raiser for the National Organizations for Women?
South Africa
In this country Valentine's Day is a week long celebration. They have a tradition called “Lupercalia.” This requires young girls to celebrate by pinning the name of their lover onto their sleeve. Okay, I guess it pays to advertise. I imagine there may be some girls who would use Velcro. They can have a handful of different names to put on their sleeve. This could be quite a beneficial holiday for a young girl who knows how to work the system.
I hope everyone has a great Valentine's Day. I may suggest to my wife celebrate Valentine's Day French style this year. We could yell at each other through windows. I know she'd prefer the bonfire.
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