We all know what how most of us expect to celebrate July 4th. There will be cookouts, little league games, town festivals, parades and most of all, fireworks. As with every other aspect of life, we have people who go rogue on July 4th and ignore tradition. They decide to celebrate it their way. I suppose all traditions have to start somewhere. Here are some unique July 4th celebrations I think are worth consideration.
Below are excerpts of the story in bold. My valuable insights are in italics.
Computer Trap Shoot
For about a decade now, a group of friends in south central Kentucky gather old, clunky computer items all year long, then take them deep into the wilderness of central Kentucky each Independence Day. The components are launched into the air and used for target practice. That’s a great way to get ride of those massive old computer towers.
I am probably one of the millions of people who experience frustration with computers. I like this July 4th celebration. I'm sure there are certain things you can say as you pull the trigger and watch a computer part break into pieces.
“Eat this gigabyte you cyber jerk.” BLAM.
“Hey, this is for crashing when I was ordering sports tickets.” BOOM.
“What good does your artificial intelligence do you now fool.” BANG
“This is for working perfectly when my wife video chatted me on a fishing trip because she discovered my man cave.” BLAM, BOOM, BANG
The Mimes Festival
Every year, the San Francisco Mime Troupe opens their performing season on July 4th with a free show. Now these aren’t the mimes with the painted faces you’re thinking they are. They are actors performing shows without speaking.
The experimental theater group was founded in 1959, and has performed in San Francisco city parks since winning an obscenity case in 1963. The San Francisco Mime Troupe does not perform silently or paint their faces white, but their productions are movement-based. “
Okay, it didn't make sense until I realized it was San Francisco. A mime festival by a Mime Troupe that does not paint their faces white or perform silently. I imagine this is a San Francisco style mime. I'm sure the thinking with this is that just because a person doesn't put white paint on their face and perform silently, they can still be considered a mime. Is this because a person identifies as a mime? Maybe it's because a person is a mime trapped in a non-mime's body? The last thing they want to do is discriminate against such a person.
Murrells Inlet in South Carolina hosts a parade of boats on the 4th of July each and every year since 1984. Boats line up to be decorated, spectated, and appreciated. Something completely different than the normal parade.
Now this sounds like fun. I wonder if it includes huge yachts. Wouldn't it be fun to paint phrases on such a boat? I'd try and put something creative like “Secret Hideout For Avengers.” “My Other Yacht Is A Row Boat.” “Free Passage to Nowhere For All US Politicians.” “I Became A Billionaire And All I Got Was This Lousy Yacht.”
To celebrate the life of this fictional character, and the true America that he represents, there are plenty of themed events in Hannibal, Missouri on the 4th of July. There are plenty of games to play throughout the weekend: These events include a frog-jumping contest and a contest to celebrate the above-mentioned fence painting.”
This seems like it would be a good time. I think it would be fun to watch a frog-jumping contest or do some fence painting. I wonder if they have a “Fake your Death” contest? That would be different. We could then put people in a cave and have them chased by someone called “Injun Joe.” There could also be a treasure hunting contest. I'm sure Muff Potter could also be worked into it some way.
It can be said that hot dogs are a traditional food across the nation on the Fourth of July, but in Coney Island, the Fourth of July means Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest. Last year, reigning champion Joey Chestnut of San Jose, California bested six-time winner Takeru Kobayashi of Nagano, Japan in a sudden-death round after each had ingested 59 hotdogs in the regulation ten-minute period. Both men will compete this Saturday for the 94th annual contest in Coney Island.
Is there any better way to celebrate our country's independence than combining gluttony and unhealthy food for sport? On many levels, I guess it's the American way. The only problem is that it is an international contest. Nothing is more embarrassing than having a person from Japan out eat Americans on our country’s independence day. We are a country with one of the highest obesity levels on the planet, and we have people who get beaten in a hot dog eating contest? I wonder how people in Japan would feel about an American going to their country and regularly winning a sushi eating contest?
However you decide to celebrate July 4th, I hope you, your friends and family all have a wonderful time. Thanks from “It's a Glorious Day.”
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