Roswell's Lucrative UFO Encounter

        

Unless you’re from another planet (Ha Ha) you’re probably aware of the UFO incident that occurred at Roswell, NM.  It seems decades ago an object crashed near the town of Roswell, NM.  It is alleged that an extra-terrestrial spacecraft complete with alien occupants was responsible for the crash.  This upset the government quite a bit.  They had no idea how people would react to space aliens crashing flying saucers into our deserts.  I’m sure it was assumed that once attorneys got involved the interplanetary laws governing the estates of deceased aliens would’ve made the entire episode an administrative nightmare.  Faced with such a difficult situation the government did what it does best; the government lied to us about it.

       On July 8, 1947, public information officer Walter Haut issued a press release about the incident stating a flying disk had been recovered from a ranch near Roswell, NM.  The following day the Commanding General of the Eighth Air Force stated contradicted his story.

     I wonder what he said to people?

     “That Walter Haut is such a nut.  Did he say, Flying Saucer?  I’m telling you he’s one person who just loves to play games with people in the press.  Guess what?  It wasn’t a flying saucer; it was really a weather balloon.  Why did my man Walter do such a silly thing like tell you guys it was disk?  Hey, I don’t know.  All I can say is he gets in these strange moods sometimes.  Now go about your business and forget about this and the fact it ever happened.  You can even forget about Walter.”

            After that statement from the Commanding General of the Eighth Air Force people forgot about the crash and that silly Walter for decades.  Then in 1978, a physicist named Stanton T. Friedman interviewed a Major who was involved with the recovery of the debris in 1947.  This Major believed the military had covered up the recovery of an alien spacecraft.  For some reason, nobody was surprised, shocked or even a bit miffed by this.

        In 1980 the National Enquirer ran an interview with the Major and it brought worldwide attention to Roswell, NM.  In 1990 Friedman, William Moore, Karl T. Flock, and others interviewed hundreds of people who had or claimed to have been connected with the events at Roswell in 1947.  They also obtained hundreds of documents via Freedom of Information Act and concluded at least one alien craft had crashed in the Roswell, NM vicinity.

            In 1994 the Air Force published a report about the incident.  It concluded that "Aliens" observed in the New Mexico desert were actually anthropomorphic test dummies that were carried aloft by U.S. Air Force high altitude balloons for scientific research.  I’m sure it’s an easy mistake to make because when I’m looking at anthropomorphic test dummies I’m thinking space aliens.

         If that’s the case then why have all this intense secrecy about it for so long?  The government must really think we’re stupid.  I hope they don’t believe they govern people who all have IQs with a decimal point in the front.

            There is now a new book out called “Area 51; An Uncensored History of America’s Top Secret Military Base,” by Annie Jacobsen.  In it, she claims it was not an alien spaceship that came down in 1947 near Roswell but a Soviet spy plane with a crew of malformed adolescents.  Who knew our country had come under attack by malformed Soviet adolescents who flew planes?  Most well-formed adolescents I know can barely ride a bike without causing trouble.  I can’t imagine what would happen if they were permitted to fly planes.

            The book alleges that Josef Stalin was very impressed with the mass hysteria caused by the 1938 radio broadcast of H.G. Wells’ “War of the Worlds.”  He is said to have enlisted the help of Nazi Josef Mengele, known as the “Angel of Death for his experiments on concentration camp inmates.  Mengele supposedly surgically altered a group of children to make them look like space aliens.  These kids were then placed on a remotely controlled disc-shaped craft and flown all the way to the United States to cause “War of the World” type hysterics.  Wow.  It boggles the mind what mass-murdering psychopaths think up when they have too much time on their hands.  This is one after-school program I would not want my child to attend.

            Today the people of Roswell have reacted to their sudden burst of attention with all the enthusiasm that makes capitalism the envy of the world.  They began a UFO museum to showcase all the information about the Roswell incident and other UFO phenomena.  They’ve put alien eyes on lampposts and space ship logos are used at a local car dealer.  They’ve created a UFO Festival complete with nightly live music and food vendors.  Who knew that little green men crashing into their desert could put so much green in their pockets?

            I have no idea what really happened in 1947 at Roswell, NM.  It will probably go down in history as one of the great unknown incidents of our time.  I do know there are probably a lot of small towns around the country hoping for just one alien aircraft crash near them.  They could use all the fame and finical benefits that go with it.

Here is a link to a story about it.

https://americanway.com/en/features/2017/01/close-encounters-of-the-lucrative-kind

Here is a funny video from It is a Glorious Day.

It is called: Why Some White People Want To Be Black

People in Thailand Pay Money to Lay in a Coffin. A Real Story.

           Most people during the day find they need something to refresh them.  It’s that time when we all start looking for something that will take away that feeling of being tired.  We want to be reinvigorated and ready for the rest of the day.  Well, you can just forget about having that afternoon cup of coffee, an energy drink or even energy pills.  They’re no match for what Buddhist Monks are offering people in Thailand.  Citizens in Bangkok are now able to get a daily boost in feeling good by simply spending some time during the day lying in a coffin.

            At a Buddhist temple, 66 miles northeast of Bangkok called Wat Prommance believers pay a small fee to lie in a coffin for a few moments.  Practitioners claim they rise from the coffin and feel reborn.  Wow!

            “I was out late last night with my friends.  I’m really struggling today.”

            “Don’t worry; I’ve got just the thing.  At lunch, we’ll both go and lay in a coffin.”

            “Do you think that will help?”

            “It’s cheaper than getting a tan and easier than guzzling a quart energy drink”

            “I think that’s a great idea.”

            Wat Prmmancee offers a daily resurrection service.  Many Thais believe lying in the coffins washes away bad luck and helps prolong life.  And I thought carrying around a dead rabbit’s foot for good luck was strange. 

            Can you imagine how something like that would be perceived in our capitalistic society?  I can just see a television advertisement.  A man stands outside of a mortuary wearing a charcoal black colored suit and smiles as he points to a long row of open coffins.

            “Folks, do you experience that afternoon let down?  Are you looking for that certain special something that will give you the energy you need to make it through the rest of the day?  Look no further because we here at Death Ain’t Cheap Mortuary have just the thing.  Come in and lay down your weary body in one of our state of the art coffins.  You’ll experience all the peace and tranquility that being in something intended for dead people can bring you.  Remember after two visits the third one is free.  Look for our coupon in your local paper.”

            Hundreds of people do this every day at Wat Prommance and there are actually waiting lines during the day to get into the coffins.  It lasts only 90 seconds so it can probably be considered the fast-food of the feeling cleansed and relaxed industry. 

            “Man can I please get ahead of you.”

            “Why?”

            “I haven’t been in a coffin for a few days.  I need a cleansed and relaxed feeling fix.  Without it I go, crazy man, you gotta help me, you just gotta, man.”

            “Only if you get into the twelve step program for coffin laying addicts.”

            “It’s a deal.”

            The entire ceremony lasts just 90 seconds.  Believers get into the coffin, lying on their backs then close their eyes as a shroud covers the coffin and then is quickly removed.  As with anything I’m sure you’d have your fair share of complainers.

            “You didn’t leave the shroud on for the full 90 seconds.  Do it again.”

            “The shroud you used was dirty.  I want a clean shroud.”

            “The guy who was in this coffin before I had odor issues.  The smell is killing me.”(Couldn’t resist)

            After the shroud is removed people are then commanded to get up and say a quick prayer.  When finished praying the people are quickly shown the exit as nine more people anxiously come into claim their coffin.  And you thought caffeine would keep you awake at night.

            This is something that started at the Wat Prommance Buddhist community only six years ago.  How did someone come up with this idea?  Did it start with a meeting of monks on the financial status of the monastery?

            “You know the cost of sandals and red robes is only going up.  Shaving our heads isn’t so cheap anymore.  We need to figure out a way to increase our income.”

            There is silence as the monks struggle for a solution.  Suddenly a nerdy looking monk in the back wearing glasses raises his hand.

            “I got an idea that’s guaranteed to make us some easy cash and will put empty coffins to use.”

            There is grumbling among the crowd of monks as they look at one another.  Suddenly an elder speaks.

            “Aren’t you the one who was selling head shaving services to bald people?  This idea of yours had better not be a scam.”

            “Hey, alls I’m sayin’ is we ax people to pay a bit a money, let ‘em lie down in a coffin fer a time, we covers it up with a shroud, take it off, say a pray show den ‘em the door and budda bing we’re ready for some more payin’ customers.  Whadda ya say?”

            “Aren’t you from a monastery in New York City?”

            “Yeah, how dija know?”

            I admire Buddhists in many ways.  They are dedicated to peace and refuse to harm any living creature even if it gives you itchy bumps on your body.  I will have to part ways with them on the coffin laying rejuvenation.  I’m glad it works for them but I feel such an experience would have quite the opposite effect on someone like me.

Here is a link to the story.

https://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/27/world/asia/27thailand.html

National Science Foundation and Paying for Jello-Wrestling Events, Skinny Dipping and More. A Real Story

            It’s come to a point in our society that paying your taxes gives you a mixed feeling.  On the one hand, you feel as if you’ve been responsible and contributed your portion to keep the government operating.  On the other hand, there’s always that sick feeling inside you try to ignore.  It’s like not wanting to acknowledge but knowing you’ve just given too much money to people who have the same fiscal responsibility as big lottery winners who end up declaring bankruptcy.  Senator Tom Coburn recently published a 73-page report identifying hug amounts of money spent by the National Science Foundation (NSF) on things most of us might not see as justified expenses. 

            At a research station in Antarctica, those crazy kids working for the NSF held a Jell-O wrestling event.  This is also a place where they held nude swimming parties and skinny dipping events.  The McMurdo research station in Antarctica takes in $451 million per year of taxpayer money. 

            I don’t understand all the nude events held at a research station in Antarctica.  I always thought it’d be cold enough there to motivate most people to keep their clothes on.  I wondered why they would wrestle in Jell-O, but I figured out there’s probably some complex scientific principle being used to discover something.  Maybe it was an experiment to test the physical and psychological benefits of Jell-O wrestling in an arctic environment.  The results would probably lead to better human survival rates in such surroundings.  Also, I bet if these nude events were ever promoted properly they’d cause a rush of tourism to the Antarctic.

            (WARNING: The previous paragraph was sarcasm and is in no way meant to represent the nude activities at the McMurdo research station as anything other than ridiculous.)

            It only gets better with the NSF.  This organization spent more than $500,000 for the design and construction of special shrimp exercise machines.  These brilliant scientists employed by the NSF built treadmills for shrimp to walk on so they could measure the impact of sickness on the creatures.  Huh?  I suppose this makes sense because when I’m eating at a seafood restaurant the last thing I want to do is look down at my plate and see a crustacean that needs a work out program.

            “What’s the matter with your meal sir?”

            “You gave the lazy couch potato shrimp.  I ordered the Ironman triathlon racing shrimp.  Give me another order and don’t try to give me the marathon running shrimp because I’ll know the difference.”

            The amount of $1 million was spent to see how quickly parents respond to trendy baby names.  Really?  What was done that amounted to a cost of $1 million dollars?  Did they have two people go around to different parents and yell “Absynthe.” and record the time?  For that amount of money, I hope they interviewed quite a few parents.

            “Well, you’ve been researching for a while now.  What baby names are parents reacting to the quickest?”

            “Not sure, but if there’s a baby named “Leave Me Alone You Jerk and Don’t Bother Me Again” it’d be the clear winner.”

            The NSF claims that it is the only federal agency whose mission includes support for all fields of fundamental science and engineering.  This them the perfect background to get into the music business.  $50,000 was spent by this organization to produce and publicize amateur songs which include such timeless classics as “Money 4 Drugz,” and another special tune titled “Biogas is a Gas, Gas Gas.”  Their judgment in music seems to be consistent with their judgment on dispersing taxpayer money for projects.

            The list goes on with such things as $80,000 to study why the same teams always dominate March Madness.  I suppose we need a way to improve everyone’s brackets for the office pools.  $2 million to figure out that people who often post pictures on the internet from the same location at the same time are usually friends.  I suppose it was just a myth everyone believed but it took actual scientific research to prove it’s a fact.  $351,000 was spent to see if playing Farm Ville on Facebook helps adults develop and maintain relationships.  I hate to say this but if you have to develop or maintain relationships using a game on the internet you need to get out and see the real world.  It may not be as perfect as the cyber one but it does have its good points.

            To be honest the National Science Foundation has done a lot of good for our society.  They’ve made advances with things like the internet, computing bar codes, magnetic resonance imaging technology and more.  Their education programs are probably responsible for inspiring a generation of dedicated scientists.  Unfortunately, they’re like all government agencies and need close financial oversight.  They’re scientists, not financial planners.  It’s like having some brilliant college students who just need some help managing their money correctly.

Here is a link to the story.

https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2011/may/26/tax-dollars-shrimp-treadmills-jell-o-wrestling/ 

Nazis Tried to Teach Dogs To Read, Write and more. A Real Story

            There is a new book out titled “Amazing Dogs: A Cabinet of Canine Curiosities.”  This book details the attempt by Nazi specialists during World War II to train a group of “intelligent” dogs to read, write and speak.  I guess Nazis and dogs are considered a winning combination in the publishing world.

It would be very interesting to hear what a dog has to say.  I can only imagine what dogs in my neighborhood say when I’m on my walk.  When I pass the Rottweiler I think he’s yelling something like “Just what are you looking at punk?  What are you doing near my territory?  Thought I told you yesterday to keep away from here you gray-haired, middle-aged jerk.  I get past this fence and you’re mine.  I’m nicer to my chew toy than I will be to you.  Yeah, you just keep walking.”

            There’s an older female dog that is very nice and always wants people to pet her.  It seems she’s trying to say something like “Hey buddy don’t be afraid to pet me.  There was a time when people couldn’t resist petting me.  Oh, was I something to see.  People told me I could’ve easily won any dog show I wanted.  That was years ago.  The doggy years have really piled up on me.  These days I’m happy just to roll around in a little something, get a rawhide and call it a day.”

The author claims these Nazi dog trainers had some success.  They had a dog named Rolf that allegedly could discuss religion, contemplate complex mathematics and communicate with humans by tapping out an alphabet code using his paw.

Really?  I would just love to hear what a dog has to say about religion.  Maybe they would want to start their own church called “Our Lady of the Sacred Butt Sniffers”  Is it possible that Rolf didn’t like any of the current religions and was looking to start one of his own?  It would probably be complete with doggy deities such as Spike the all-knowing hound of leg humping.  Can you imagine what their religious service would be like? 

“Fellow canines in a minute we must all lift our heads and howl in unison to the great Spike.  After that, we can all lift our legs and mark our spots so we all know who attended today’s service.  Before you leave don’t forget to stop at the back of the doggy park.  We have plenty of wet food and dry food to enjoy during fellowship time.  Boxes will also be available for a chew toy and rawhide donations.  Now let our howling begin.”

The book also claims another dog named Kurwenal was able to crack jokes like a comedian and was the symbol of the educated canines of Germany.  Huh?  I guess the world always needed a joke-cracking Nazi dog.

I can only imagine what it would be like to have a comedy night at a club with Kurwenal as the featured performer.  As he comes on stage people are clapping.  He nods and pants before he gets down and starts cleaning himself.

“Hey, I know you humans are jealous of that but don’t forget, I can’t pick my nose.  How’s everybody doing tonight?  Do all of you like what I rolled in before I got here?  Are there any mailmen in the audience because I’m hungry?  Ha, ha only kidding.  But seriously folks, sorry I’m a little late.  I would’ve been here early but I thought this would be the time I actually caught my tail.  Other dogs are always asking me why I’m in such good shape.  I tell them it’s because I started chasing high-performance autos instead of parked cars.  Whoa, I got a million of them.  Trust me. I was funnier before I was neutered.  Hey, you in the front row.  I think I’m falling in love with the leg.”

This story only gets better.  It seems that Hitler’s favorite dog was called Don.  This canine was able to bark “Mein Fuhrer” when asked who Adolf Hitler was.  That doesn’t impress me.  If the dog would’ve barked “Die you mass murdering psychopath demon and rot in hell” that would’ve impressed me. 

The goal behind this Nazi project seems to have been for these superior dogs to be able to communicate with their SS masters and become the world’s ultimate guard dogs.  Why would these dogs want to guard anything?  They’d be too busy discussing religion or thinking up comedy routines.  Since they could do complex math they’d probably be busy designing dog cities or doggy mass transit systems.  They would probably form a group to fight for doggy rights.  If the SS masters wanted these dogs to guard anything they’d probably have to talk with their canine union.

Unfortunately, this is just another sad aspect of a horrible time in history.  The book also tells how people were concerned with the welfare of pets left behind by Jews taken to the concentration camps.  Talk about a warped sense of values.  I’ve always enjoyed dogs that were left alone to be just dogs.  They’re special animals with unique talents and abilities.  I don’t think they need to act like they’re human any more than we need to act like we’re dogs.

Here is a link to the story.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8532573/Nazis-tried-to-train-dogs-to-talk-read-and-spell-to-win-WW2.html