Saturday, September 28, 2019

Rage Yoga Involves Drinking Beer, Swearing and More. A Real Story.



My wife likes to take yoga classes. She is a very flexible person and loves doing yoga poses and meditation. My wife wants me to be part of her world and has tried to get me involved with her love of yoga. I have discovered I am not a very flexible person. I don't like doing yoga poses as my body rejects the idea of doing such a thing. When it comes time for meditation, I fall asleep. I'm sure others in her yoga class have mentioned about my and bringing a pillow and blanket for meditation as well as my snoring during this time. I just discovered a story about a type of yoga that seems designed for people like me. It's called Rage Yoga. This type of yoga involves cursing, heavy metal music, and beer. I confess to swearing during times I've attempted a yoga pose, and it felt awkward. I'm sure rage yoga could become a very popular activity that can be taught at many bars around the country. The image of people at biker bar cursing and drinking beer as they do yoga is something I believe would be fascinating to watch.

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.

Lindsay Istace, the founder of Rage Yoga, describes it as “alternative yoga for the modern badass." "It's meant to be a different approach to yoga for those who find their peaceful center in a different way," she says. The practice "involves a little bit of extra chaos and a sense of humor," she says. Think: war cries heavy metal guitar riffs, occasional dirty jokes, f-bombs, and yes, even drinking. It’s definitely a vibe.


I wonder if 3,000 years ago in a land we now know as India if those who invented yoga anticipated the possibility of Rage Yoga. I can only imagine what Gandhi would think about Rage Yoga. Seeing him drink beer and swearing with heavy metal music being played in the backgroud is an image I don't think many people would believe.

Most people probably don't think of these things when they take a yoga class.

“I want all of you to relax before we begin our yoga.”
Someone lets out a rather nasty burp.
“You, in the back wearing the heavy metal jacket. Could you please take your beer outside. There is no drinking during yoga class.”
“What? What kind of s&^it, f%^ked, up yoga class is this? I paid my money and I want to drink beer, curse and listen to heavy metal when I do yoga.”
“Oh, that yoga class is at the biker bar across the street.'
“Really, sorry, I'll be going now.”
“Namaste.”
“No, sorry, I can't stay. Come over to bar after class and we'll talk.”


The goal? To make you feel like an empowered badass, to work through what's holding you back, and to become a more resilient person, Istace explains in a video on the Rage Yoga website. Basically, it’s the yoga equivalent of plugging in your headphones, pressing play on Beyoncé's "Flawless," cranking the volume all the way up, and strutting your damn stuff up Fifth Avenue. (Just me?)

(Sarcasm Alert)

I suppose having a goal of enlightenment, recognition of your own divinity as well as freedom are boring traditional goals of yoga. Now, this yoga can help people who want to have that special feeling of being an empowered badass. Maybe it will help you get in touch with your inner badass and provide you with badass enlightenment. It's possible people walk away from this with a sense of their badass divinity. Those who practice this yoga will be noticed as they move along Fifth Avenue strutting their stuff. It could also help you learn new curse words and the latest heavy metal bands as well as the best beer all at the same time.


As for the actual, you know, yoga part, Istace tells Health that the flow itself incorporates traditional yoga postures and breathing with alternative principles, and the intensity and difficulty depends on the instructor and class. Speaking of the instructors: All of the Rage Yoga instructors have completed a Rage Yoga certification program and also have completed a 200-hour yoga teacher training.

I bet seeing someone cursing as they do the downward dog pose to heavy metal music is quite a sight. I think this breathing training will help people with their beer drinking. They may be told to take a deep breath, exhale, and drink until the can or bottle is empty. I'm sure if you are going to learn Rage Yoga, it's important you learn from someone who has a Rage Yoga certificate.

“How am I doing for my certificate?”
“Well, you excel at beer drinking and listening to heavy metal music. You do need some work when it comes to swearing with your yoga.”
“Could I be tested on the swearing portion of the certification process when I'm driving?”
“I'm sorry, I can't allow such a thing.”
“Ah, Son of a b*&ch, I can't say F*^King, swear unless I'm F*^king my piece of s%^it car.”
“Good news.”
“What?”
“You passed the swearing portion of the certification process.”
“Great.”


While it might sound like the opposite of soothing, according to psychotherapist Courtney Glashow, LCSW, founder of Anchor Therapy in Hoboken, New Jersey, cursing actually can allow for an emotional release. “In the right setting, I believe that cursing can be therapeutic because it can allow us to let our anger out, we can use specific words to express ourselves.”

My father would have loved Rage Yoga. He had a natural gift for drinking beer and swearing. When I was growing up, my father's vocabulary consisted of a natural blend of regular American English and swear words. If you asked him a question without curse words, he could get confused. When the proper amount of swearing was involved, he then understood perfectly.

“It appears that your car needs to have the oil changed.”
“What?”
“I said, you need to change the oil in your car changed.”
“What are you talking about? I don't understand.”
“It looks like that piece of s&^t car of yours is f*&ked up to the point where you have to spend money on the b*&ch and get the oil changed.”
“Okay, why didn't you say so in the first place?
“Never mind.”


Maybe! If you’re so over regular yoga (or too intimidated to try it), or you’re simply someone who finds it easier (or more fun!) to get centered while letting out f-bombs, Rage Yoga could be for you.

I knew I could benefit from yoga. I guess I just had to find the right type of yoga. When my wife comes home I may have heavy metal music blasting as I strike a pose, drink some beer and start swearing. If she asks what I'm doing, I'll tell her I'm doing Rage Yoga. She could then give me a look and start swearing and tell me she is practicing annoyed wife Rage Yoga. Unfortunately for me, that wins over any yoga in existence.

Below is a link to the story.

https://www.health.com/fitness/rage-yoga

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Friday, September 27, 2019

Binge Drinking Changes DNA Causing an Elevated Desire for Alcohol. A Real Story.



I know that heavy drinking can do many bad things to a person. They could get into an accident when driving, become sick, act inappropriately or watch reruns of the television show Hazel. I'm sure many of us did not realize heavy drinking could change our DNA. Not the type of DNA change you would like to experience. You're not going to develop superpowers, get increased strength or mental abilities. According to a new study, binge drinking will result in DNA changes that cause you to have a stronger desire for alcohol. I wonder if chocolate does the same thing? Does binge chocolate eating cause long-lasting changes in a person's DNA? Could this result in an uncontrollable urge to consume chocolate? I wonder if some people could go from eating a chocolate bar a day to a serious Nestles quick sniffing habit. Is it possible for Star Wars movies to change your DNA? I think is it possible for excessive bacon eating to alter your DNA. We may need to have some more studies done.

Below are some excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.

A new study finds that frequently consuming too much booze may lead to a long-lasting change in DNA that causes an even stronger desire for alcohol.
Researchers at Rutgers University studied two genes that play a central role in one’s drinking behavior: PER2, which influences the body’s biological clock; and POMC, which regulates the body’s stress response system.


I suppose if you're going to study genes that impact a person's desire for alcohol, you study the one involved with the body's biological clock.

“The good news is your DNA has not been affected by your excessive alcohol consumption. It has not been changed so you want to have more and more booze. Now the bad news.
“What bad news?”
“Your biological clock has shut down. I'm sorry but you are too old to have children, wear those cute outfits on the beach or move in with your parents.”
“Okay, I'll drink to all of it.”

I'm sure if you drink too much, your body will probably have a slower stress response. This means when your boss yells and says you're fired, it's okay. Your DNA may have been altered so you will only be upset about it a few days later; when you become sober.


After comparing groups of moderate, binge, and heavy social drinkers, they found that both genes were modified among those who drink heavily or binged by an alcohol-influenced gene modification condition called methlyation. Researchers also noticed reductions in gene expression — or the rate that the genes create proteins. They found modifications increased with greater alcohol consumption.


I wonder how they determine who is a heavy social drinker compared to moderate and binge.

“You are a moderate social drinker.”
“I know, I've not put too much effort into my drinking. Give me time, and I'm sure I could move up the ranks.”
“If you become a heavy social drinker your DNA could be changed.”
“Will I turn into Super Drinking Man with incredible drinking powers.”
“No, you'll just be a drunk with altered DNA and an increased craving for alcohol.”
“Then I'll better understand my family.
“Oh.”

Participants in the study were also shown stress-related, neutral, or alcohol-related images. They were then shown containers of beer, before being asked to taste the beverage. Researchers then assessed each participant’s desire to drink and found those with the genetic changes from heavy drinking showed a stronger craving.

What were these neutral, stress-related or alcohol-related images?

“Here is a picture of a person dreaming.”
“Is that neutral?”
“Yes.”
“Here is a picture of Yoko Ono about to have a one-person concert inside the living room at your house.”
“Is that a stress-related image?”
“No, that's alcohol-related. Even the researchers wanted to start drinking heavily after seeing it.”
“What is the stress-related image?”
“Having Yoko Ono perform her one-person concert inside your living room without access to alcohol until the next day.”
“Whoa, that is stressful.”


The authors hope the research will lead them to identify genetic markers that could actually, predict an individual’s risk for binge or heavy drinking.

I'm sure before this gets perfected there will be a few mistakes.

“According to your genetic markers you are at risk for heavy drinking.”
“I'm allergic to alcohol.”
“Your genetic markers also say you are going to alter your DNA and become a superhero. It's possible for you to become Super Non-Drinking man.”
“Are you a scientist?”
“No, I'm a writer for Marvel comics.”
“Oh.”

Here is a link to the story.

https://www.studyfinds.org/heavy-drinking-change-dna-alcohol-cravings/

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Thursday, September 26, 2019

Some Companies Want to Ban All Workplace Physical Contact. A Real Story


I have never been much of a person to touch others in the workplace. I worked in one place where a guy was called clammy hands who would shake your hand and send shivers up your spine. I've seen guys give females unwanted shoulder rubs. I've seen females give guys unwanted punches in the face. The list of unwanted physical contact in the workplace is long. I'm sure this has led to many contacts with Human Resources.

“There is a man working here who was giving me unwanted physical contact.”
“You work for a chiropractor. He was giving you a free examination.”
“Oh, he has to touch me to examine me?”
“Are you sure you work here at the chiropractor's office?”
“I clean the office after everyone goes home. It still counts.”

Some companies have decided to ban all physical contact in the workplace. I guess that means no handshakes, no goodbye hugs and no resuscitation from co-workers should your heart stop beating.

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.


A survey by TotalJobs found that three out of four people want all physical contact banned at work. The idea is to remove confusion over what kind of touch is appropriate.

Some companies are now considering whether they should prohibit handshakes.
“I think that’s going a little too far. I’ve never had a problem with it,” one woman said.
“I think it’s a show of mutual respect,” said one man.

I can honestly say I am a member of the workforce who has never had a desire to touch anyone where I've worked. I know the feeling has always been mutual with my co-workers.

“Good morning, how are you?
“I'm happy and happy to not touch you.”
“I'm also happy this morning and words can't accurately describe how much I am glad no touching will occur between us.”
“It's going to be a good day.”
“I agree.”

I could see a woman in an office struggling to carry a box and asking a guy for help. He may refuse on the grounds there is the possibility of inappropriate touching occurring. A boss could give their employee a very sentimental gift and tell them as part of the gift, they won't show any harmless affection in front of the other employees. It's easier to look like you're a very cold and unfeeling boss than risk breaking a ban on touching.


“We would really have to rewrite all of the etiquette books, because that really is a priority,” etiquette expert Dorlisa Goodrich Young said.
Young says a systematic ban on handshakes doesn’t seem likely, but in order to keep it professional, there are some things you need to know.
“It is a medium grip and we meet the web of the other person, so when we do this, we are really locking the web and we are not doing the fingertips,” Young said.

Oh, this is great. I've been shaking people's hands for decades, who knew such an act now comes with instructions.

Two people in a workplace meet for the first time and shake hands.

“I'm sorry, you failed.”
“What?”
“You failed at handshaking.”
“How?”
“You didn't lock the web and did fingertips. Were you raised on an island farm in the Pacific ocean where you learned to shake hands by practicing with farm animals?”
“No, I learned by practicing with my uncle who is the CEO of the company.”
“Oh.”


There are a few other big no-nos when trying to earn respect with the standard U.S. greeting.

Anything longer than two shakes is a shake too many.

(Sarcasm Alert)

I've heard it's like that with a lot of things. (Snicker, snicker, snicker)

If you go past the two shake limit is there a workplace referee who will blow a whistle and assess a foul? Could you be placed in the corporate penalty box for excessive handshaking?

“I'm sorry, Jenkins, but you won't be able to come to the presentation.”
“Why?”
“You greeted a new employee and went over the two shake limit on your handshake.”
“I know, but he is my cousin who I haven't seen for several years.”
“This is a company Jenkins, not a repository for family reunions. Do your family handshaking on your own time.
“Okay.”


Since it seems handshakes are here to stay, what if you’re not feeling well?
Young said you simply should offer an explanation of not wanting to spread germs before denying the shake.

It would be an interesting workplace if one employee told others they can't shake hands because they are not sure if they have the bubonic plague until the test results come back. I bet that person would get plenty of personal space.

And if you don’t want to get sick from someone else, Young advises to be polite, shake their hand and discretely use some hand sanitizer afterward.

Have the people who recommended this spend more than one-weekend watching reruns of the show Monk? Maybe companies could ban all physical contact but require employees to always have hand sanitizer on their person should that unanticipated physical contact occur.

Here is a link to the story.





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Wednesday, September 25, 2019

Woman Accused of Drunk Driving Blames Taco Bell Nachos. A Real Story.



I've known people who have been arrested for drunk driving. It is an uncomfortable and upsetting experience anyone would try to avoid. When faced with going to jail for DUI, a person will start to make up endless excuses. Just like Jake in the original Blues Brothers movie pleading with the Carrie Fisher character, individuals facing a DUI charge will say the darndest things.

“It wasn't my fault, somebody spilled alcohol on the driver seat of my car and it must have seeped into my system.”

“I was attacked by robbers who said if I drank all sorts of alcohol they would let me and my stuff go free. It was a matter of getting drunk to survive.”

“Someone must have poured alcohol into my health food drink. I think we need to find who is really responsible for this situation. I'm actually an innocent victim.”

One woman in Ohio was very original when it came to an excuse for driving drunk.

There is a woman who actually blamed Taco Bell nachos for her alleged drunk driving incident. I'm sure it was a good thing she didn't try to blame it on a beer batter dipped fish sandwich.

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.


Cleveland.com reports that the woman was driving a black jeep in North Royalton, Ohio, on April 6 when the incident occurred. The police officer claims that he had to swerve his vehicle to avoid being hit. He then pulled the woman over, and when he asked her what happened, she held up a bag of Taco Bell and blamed the nachos.

I'm sure this was a rather interesting conversation. After working hard to avoid a collision, a police officer puts on his lights and pulls a woman over.

“Excuse me, ma'am, could I see license and registration please.”
She hands them to the officer.”
“Ma'am, I had to swerve my vehicle to avoid you hitting me. Can you explain what happened?”
The woman holds up a bag of nachos.”
“You're blaming your dangerous driving on nachos?”
“These are not just any nachos. These are Taco Bell nachos. I think I'm the victim of inappropriate food labeling.”
“What?”
“Nowhere on the package, receipt or on the food's container does it say to not eat these when driving. They have these types of labels on medication and alcohol, why not Taco Bell nachos?”
“Ma'am, you should know better than to drive while eating nachos. It's common sense.”
“People should know not to drive after drinking alcohol or taking medication, but they have labels. I think Taco Bell nachos should also have a label. Without them, people like me will drive and eat them. I'm a victim here. It's common sense.”

According to the officer, her center console was covered in shredded cheese.
She initially refused to get out of her vehicle, claiming that she had prior drunk driving arrests and was a single mom. Cleveland.com reports that she had been convicted for drunken driving offenses in 2009 and 2015.

If her center console was covered with shredded cheese, I wonder if she had more than nachos. Was there also a taco or two involved? I like the logic that a policeman pulls you over and asks you to step out of your vehicle. You then refuse because you have previously been arrested for drunk driving and are a single mother. Do they get some sort of exemption I do not know about? I suppose getting out of your vehicle when told to by a police officer only applies to married mothers with no drunk driving arrests? At least she was telling the truth about her previous drunk driving convictions. What did she think would happen if she just stayed in her vehicle? The police officer would get bored, leave and go to Taco Bell because the nachos all over her car looked so good it made him hungry?


After failing a field sobriety test, she was taken into custody. Cleveland.com reports that she was arrested for drinking and driving and cited with driving left of center, not giving full attention and obstructing official business.

(Sarcasm Alert)

I'm sure the police officer could have also charged her with abuse and false allegation of Taco Bell nachos.

I hope certain groups don't get involved in this situation like the Right to Eat Nachos and Drive Coalition (REND). There could also be the Drunk Driving Victims of Taco Bell Nachos (DDVTBN). Victims of Driving Under the Influence of Taco Bell Nachos LLC (VDUITBN).


There is a strong possibility we may see them on the news chanting about wanting to protect their right to eat Taco Bell nachos and drive. In order to show solidarity, the more radical members of these groups may throw cheese all over their car's center consoles.

I don't think there is an organization for people who admit to what they have done and take responsibility. Not only do they not have an organization, but they're also too boring to make the news.

Here is a link to the story.


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Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Firefighters Mistaken 11-Foot Alligator for Unconscious Person. A Real Story



I don't know how this happened. It must have been dark, they weren't sure what they were seeing, the alligator had a bottle of Jack Daniels next to it, or something similar. I think of an alligator and then I think of some people I've known and I realize this may be possible. My friend's family has some rather large people, and they do make some disturbing sounds when they are laying outside. When it is dark, you could not have any idea they are outside near you until they make a sound. In some cases, it would be easy to mistake them for an alligator. They would probably be the variety of alligator found with a bottle of Jack Daniels next to them.

Below are some excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.

Firefighters in Florida said they stopped to help what appeared to be an unconscious person late at night and discovered it was actually an 11-foot alligator.
Miami Fire Rescue said the crew was heading back to their station about 11 pm. Friday when they spotted what appeared to be a person in distress in a residential neighborhood.


I'm sure an interesting conversation took place among the Fire and Rescue crew that night.

“I can't wait to get back to the station.”
“Me too, I'm ready to call it a night.”
“Look over there, it appears to be a person in distress.”
“Wow, over there is a person who is long has scales and very large teeth.”
“That could be my uncle Loslo. That description fits him perfectly.”
“Should we stop and see if it is someone who needs our help?”
“Look for a bottle of Jack Daniels first.”
“Why?”
“If you see that, it is definitely my uncle Loslo.”
“Oh.”


"As they got closer, they noticed that this was not a person but actually an 11-foot alligator," Miami Fire Rescue Capt. Ignatius Carroll told WVSN-TV.
The firefighters kept an eye on the reptile and summoned Miami Police, who in turn called the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission.

Ah, the scene of a fire and rescue crew approaching an alligator they believe is a person in distress provides a wealth of comedic scenarios.

“Hey, hey, Abbot.'
“What now Costello?”
“That person we think is a person in distress is not a person I think is in distress.”
“Oh, knock it off Costello. Of course, it's a person in distress. Now just go over there and see what's wrong.”
“I don't think it's a person.”
“If you don't think it's a person in distress, what could it be then?
“I, I, I think it's an alligator.”
“Costello, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Now go over there and see what is wrong with that person.”

Costello makes funny sounds, points, makes some funny actions. He looks at his partner who points to the alligator. Costello then goes over and we hear some rather funny sounds. Eventually, he returns to his partner.

“Now was that so difficult Costello?”
“Nope, because I made it easy.”
“How did you make it easy?”
“He opened his mouth and I poured the rest of the bottle of Jack Daniels down his throat. Now, everything is okay.”
“I hope you learned something Costello.”
“Yes, I learned uncle Loslo isn't the only one who has scales, a big mouth and travels with a bottle of Jack Daniels.”


"For about an hour, they monitored this alligator, along with Miami Police, as it continued to make its way further into the residential neighborhood," Carroll said.
He said the FWC trapper arrived just as the alligator had wandered into an elderly couple's back yard. He said the alligator broke through a chain-link fence to enter the yard.


I suppose monitoring an alligator is easier than trying to help a person in distress. Something tells me the fire and rescue crew would prefer to be helping someone. I'm sure glad they took care of the alligator in the elderly couple's yard. I'm sure it would be a rather bit of a shock to go out to get the mail and see an 11-foot alligator keeping you from your bills and advertisements. I'm sure this would be upsetting even if the alligator was carrying a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Below is a link to the story.

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Monday, September 23, 2019

Gynecologist Tells Women To Stop Placing Garlic in Their Vaginas. A Real Story.



When I first saw this story, I thought it was a joke. It appears to be an authentic news story. I was shocked to realize there are women who have heard a rumor that if they put garlic in their personal parts, it will cure them of a yeast infection. According to members of the medical establishment, this is something that should never be done. Not only is it being done, but women are doing it, they're blogging about it and putting it on YouTube. One such video got over 2 million viewers. What would a female doing this type of video call their YouTube channel? Is it possible they would call their YouTube channel, Using Garlic in Ways You Never Imagined Possible? How about, Garlic, It's Not Just for Pasta Sauce Anymore. It's disturbing this is done, it's also disturbing there are possibly some women can't figure out how it is done unless they watch a YouTube video about it.

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.


Gynecologist and writer Dr. Jennifer Gunter went viral this week with a series of tweets which stressed that there are countless reasons why women should avoid inserting garlic at all costs. You may be wondering why this was necessary – is it really possible that there are women out there putting garlic in their vaginas? Well, apparently so.

This could lead to some rather strange conversations in the kitchen.

“I have everything for the pasta sauce.”
“Good.”
“Something happened to the garlic.”
“Ah, well, ah, I, ah, don't know, how to tell you this, but, ah.”
“You didn't.”
“I have a yeast infection and I don't want to go to the doctor.”
“Every clove of garlic I had for the making the sauce?”
“It's a bad infection.”
“What am I going to do about the pasta sauce?”
“I'll get you some new garlic. The other isn't something you would want to use for pasta sauce now.”
“I agree.”


In 2014, a doctor told Scientific American that as many as 10 percents of his patients had tried using garlic as a cure for a yeast infection.

two recent studies have examined whether or not creams containing garlic could be used to treat yeast infections, one of which, published in the Iranian Journal of Nursing and Midwifery Research in 2010,  said it was no more beneficial than conventional treatment.

Who knew that Iran had a Journal of Nursing?. I associate Iran with being a state sponsor of terror, rogue makers of nuclear weapons, beheading gays, stoning adulterous women to death, but not medical research on women's health.

(Sarcasm Alert)

“It's a good thing we caught your yeast infection in time. It could have gotten worse. I'm going to prescribe you some anti-fungal medication and that should take care of it.”
“Why would I need that if I have garlic?”
“That won't help. The Iranian Journal of Nursing said it wouldn't. If you can't trust people who behead gays, and stone adulterous women to death, who can you trust?”
“You have a point.”


According to Gunter’s tweets posted earlier this week, garlic contains allicin, which are a compound that “may have antifungal (ie anti-yeast) properties” when used in a laboratory in, say, a dish of cells. But “your vagina is not a dish...”

“Why can't I use garlic to cure my yeast infection? I've heard all the rumors about it working and have seen it on a few YouTube channels. They say garlic has anti-fungal properties. How could they all be wrong?”
“This may be the case when it is done in a laboratory using a dish”
“So?”
“Your vagina is not a dish.”
“Now you tell me. You lecture me about not using drugs and alcohol, how to handle myself on a date and how to drive safely. You never took the time to tell me my vagina is not a dish. How could you do this to me?
“Sorry.”


The gynecologist also suggested that 50 to 70 percent of women mistreat themselves for yeast infections when they might not even have one or have another condition altogether.

“My advice, do not take medical advice from anyone recommending vaginal garlic for yeast or anything else,” she concluded.

It is good the news is out that garlic should not be used for treating any condition involving the vagina. It is not good that 70 percent of women don't properly treat their yeast infections. I wonder if this is a statement about the lack of access to healthcare in the United States or the power of YouTube videos to influence how women treat their health conditions?

After reading this story, I will never look at garlic in the same way again.

Below is a link to the story.



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Sunday, September 22, 2019

Board Games and Painting Classes Cause Couples to Experience Love Hormone. A Real Story



I can remember when I was a young guy. I would ask women on dates in an effort to find the love of my life or someone who would be there until that happened. I was under the false impression that I should take a woman out to a nice restaurant, take her dancing, buy her flowers and do my best to show her a good time. I always hoped this effort would be rewarded.

According to a recent study, I was a fool to spend that kind of money. All I needed to have a female experience a high from a love hormone was to take an art course with her. It never crossed my mind this would get a woman really going for me. If I had known I could have simply played a board game with a woman, I believe dating would have been much more cost-effective. Who knew? Some paint on a canvas, a quick game of chutes and ladders and you can get an evening of love. Things sure are different today.

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.


Researchers at Baylor University found that couples who engage in collaborative art projects or play board games together release oxytocin, which scientists call the “hugging hormone,” in higher levels. Interestingly, the researchers also found that men who paint release an even greater amount of the hormone out all the groups and couples they studied.

I can think of the many different situations in my distant past that I thought would result in a woman releasing oxycontin. Art projects and board games were not on the list. It does make you wonder if they left out the fact that it was an erotic art class involving painting images on each other's naked body. Could the board games they played have been something like naked twister or strip poker? I'm sure there are certain situations where this could make sense and result in massive releases of oxycontin.


“We were expecting the opposite — that couples playing the board games would interact more because they were communicating about the games and strategies, or because they were competing, and with more interaction, they would release more oxytocin,” says Dr. Karen Melton, assistant professor of child and family studies at Baylor, in a university release.

What kind of communication during a board game could cause people to get frisky?

“Oh, the way you touch the candlestick is more than I can handle.”
“Not as much as the way you handle the revolver.”
“I think the way you say Mrs. Peacock is so hot.”
“Not as hot as the way you say, Professor Plum.”
“Please say ballroom one more time, it really gets me going.”
“Only if you say billiard room.”
“Oooooh, I love this game. Take me now.”
“Only after we have our art class.”
“Okay.”


The study also shows that couples taking painting classes engaged in touching each other more often than couples playing board games together. The researchers expected the other way around: they thought painting couples would pay more attention to the instructor during the class compared to those who played board games, where there was no instructor to watch or listen to.

I find this interesting. I never knew that couples who take painting classes touch each other more.

“Oh, I love how you made that painting stroke. Let me give you a hug.”
“Only if you hold my hand when I paint my happy tree.”
“If you do a mountain scene I have to kiss you.”
“It's difficult to paint when we are hugging one another.”
“That is not the only reason I may not take this art class again.”
“Why?”
“People have such attitudes about us not wearing any clothes as we learn about painting furniture.”
“I think they all suffer from oxycontin release envy.”
“You are probably right.”


The researchers measured their participants’ oxytocin levels with urine samples before and after each group’s activities. They also used a six-item survey about each couple’s familiarity with the activities and about their communication, eye contact, and touch during their activity sessions.

(Sarcasm Alert)

I'm sure nothing would put a couple in the mood for love more than giving a urine sample after a painting class or playing a board game. I wonder if the research revealed some illegal doping by participants in the monopoly game. I'm sure after playing a board game or taking an art class you remember eye contact, touch, and communication. If you are a person who tries to seduce your partner during this type of activity, do you really know how to save a lot of money?


What struck the researchers about the findings was that interaction and touching between partners wasn’t required — it all happened naturally.

I hope the researchers didn't have to tell the couples to get a room.

“You two haven't painted a thing or even played any part of a game.”
“Yeah.”
“All you two do is touch one another.”
“Yes, but we have our own games we play and our own ways to paint.”
“Which you can do in your own home. Right now we're conducting research.”
“Oh.”

Here is a link to the story.

https://www.studyfinds.org/couples-high-love-hormone-board-games-painting/

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