The Obama Syrian Fiasco

Today when many Americans hear the word Bashar al-Assad they will say "Gazuntite” and wonder if you have a cold.  These are usually people who have voted for Barrack Obama twice and feel he’s doing a fantastic job as president. 

Then there are the rest of us.

The handling of the situation in Syria by the Obama administration has become a national embarrassment.  The mainstream media has no concept what is and is not a national embarrassment.  The reason is their reporting of national events could also be classified as a national embarrassment.

Syria is currently engaged in a bloody civil war.  It's a country with a long history of having its government overthrown.

At one time overthrowing the government in Syria was a popular past time.  It has happened many times before.  In 1949 the Syrian government was overthrown in a coup three times.  In 1954 there was a transfer of governmental power from the military to civilians.  In 1964 the Ba'ath Syrian Regional Branch government came to power in a coup d'état.

Officially there is a difference between a coup and a coup d'éta.  A coup is when governmental power is seized by violence and a coup d'état is when power is seized violently by a small group.  I guess size does matter when it comes to overthrowing governments. 

In 1970 General Hafez al-Assad became prime minister of Syria after a “corrective revolution.”  I suppose he wanted his government overthrowing activities to be considered unique and different.  He was tired of hearing the words coup and coup d'état.  He probably felt that corrective revolution sounded pretty cool. 

Hafez al-Assad became president or dictator depending on your point of view.  He remained in power until his death in 2000.  That's when his son, the current Bashar al-Assad (Gazuntite I hope you don't have a cold) took control.  I’m sure that Bashar al-Assad had successfully completed his father’s Syrian dictator apprentice program and felt ready for the job. 

In 2011 a civil war erupted in Syria.  It is like all civil wars throughout history.  The best word to describe it is carnage.  Tens of thousands of people, including innocent men, women and children have been killed.  Neighborhoods have been completely destroyed.  The world watches what is happening in Syria and is horrified by what it sees. 

Enter President Barack Obama.

During a press conference President Obama was asked what it would take for American intervention in the Syrian civil war.  President Obama claimed that his red line would be if chemical weapons were used.  I’m sure Syrians were happy to know that it was okay to kill innocent civilians with conventional weapons but not with chemical weapons.  They could be shot or blown up but the American president won’t stand for them dying from poison gas.  (Sarcasm Alert) I’m sure the innocent Syrian men, women and children facing possible death appreciated President Obama providing clarity on the issue.

Then chemical weapons were used on innocent civilians in the Syrian civil war.

The world then came running to President Barrack Obama and pointed to Syria and said “See, they used chemical weapons.  You go and take care of those bad chemical weapons using type people just like you said.”

President Barrack Obama began to prepare for military action in Syria.  Then 90 percent of Americans said “Whoa, wait a minute here, what’s going on?  Are you nuts?  We’re tired of war.  Remember Iraq and Afghanistan?  On one side of this Syrian civil war is a cruel dictator and on the other side are people who make videos of them cutting open Syrian soldiers and eating their internal organs as well as prisoner executions.  Let’s not do this.  The hell with you and your damn red line you big mouth jerk.”

The world kept hounding President Obama so he said “Hey, I may never care what congress says about anything but I’m going to make an exception this time.  Since I never take responsibility for anything I’m not stopping now.  Congress can decide if we take military action in Syria.

Congress said “Hey, it was your red line you decide” and President Obama said “too bad you’re congress you decide.”

Enter Secretary of State John Kerry.

John Kerry tried to gain support for American military action in Syria by saying it would be very small.

“Our military action will be extremely limited, no troops involved, maybe a few missiles, we’re talking small here.”

“How small?”

“We’re thinking of lowering microphones from helicopters and playing the sound of popping bubble wrap to scare people awake.  Just enough so Syria will stop using chemical weapons.”

World leaders walked around scratching their heads saying “What in the hell is this guy doing?  What's wrong with this Obama?  Bashar al-Assad (Gazuntite and I hope you don’t have a cold) started laughing because it was actually funny.”

President Obama then handled this situation like he handles most situations that require leadership and making tough decisions.  He played golf, went to fund raisers, made a few public appearances and said everything was the fault of congress.

Then John Kerry made an unintentional gaff when speaking.  When asked what would halt military action in Syria he gave a sarcastic response that Syria could give up their chemical weapons.  Nobody laughed and the Syrians and Russians thought it was a great idea.  The Russians and Syrians decided to go forward with the surrendering chemical weapons deal.

John Kerry said “No, no, no I wasn’t serious.”

Then President Barrack came off the golf course and felt that since congress isn’t going to be responsible for this situation it might as well be the Russians and Syrians.  It’s not like it’s his responsibility.  He’s got golf to play and this Syrian stuff is really getting in the way.

“Mr. President I wasn’t serious.  We don’t have to agree to this.”

“Shut up John, this is a great idea, I, ah, talked about this with them before and, ah, I, ah planned this previously, yeah, that’s the ticket.”

After the Russians and Syrians gave each other a high five and stopped laughing they struggled to keep a straight face when talking about it in public.  John Kerry started negotiating with the Russians and Syrians for the removal of chemical weapons. 

Bashar al-Assad (Gazuntite and I hope you don’t have a cold) is quoted as saying “Yeah, yeah, I’ll, ah, remove all my chemical weapons, sure, I’ll do it for a billion dollars, yeah and ah, it will take several months, yeah, that’s the ticket.” 

So let's review what happened.  Obama handled the Syrian situation by allowing the Russians to take control of it because of a flippant remark by John Kerry.  Syria is going to get a billion dollars and several months to remove chemical weapons.  The clueless mainstream media claims that Barrack Obama is brilliant on foreign policy.  Leaders around the world are laughing at how America handled this situation.  This will go down in American history as a serious national embarrassment. 

When I watch the behavior of the Obama administration and the mainstream media I don’t know if I’m watching our government in action or a bad episode the “Three Stooges” in Washington DC.

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