Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Axe-Wielding Ghost With Methamphetamine. A Real Story



I have been caught in uncomfortable situations where I knew it was in my best interest, to be honest, and tell the truth. Nothing involving the law. I have had to confess to eating the last chocolate cookie, being with guy friends instead of having car trouble as well as not telling my wife I saw a movie without her. These are difficult situations but nothing like a man in Louisiana had to admit to doing. He was forced to admit the methamphetamine law enforcement in his home was not put there by a ghost. I don't know what is worse in this situation. The fact the man felt the police would believe a ghost had put methamphetamine in his home or the fact that he thought it was a good idea to tell the police a ghost put methamphetamine in his home. If this was successful, I'm sure ghosts would have been blamed for everything from car thefts to shoplifting and more.

Below are some excerpts from the story. My valuable insights are in italics.

A man who surmised that a ghost may have planted methamphetamine in his Louisiana home eventually admitted that he, and not an otherworldly force, was responsible for the drug being in his residence, court records show.

Can you imagine this scene? It would have been a very popular episode for the television show Cops.

Sir, we have found methamphetamine in your residence. Did you purchase this or make it?”

The man's eye's open wide and he seems to be very shocked.

What is that doing here? I have had a lot of trouble with meth-addicted ghosts coming into my house and doing their illegal drugs. You have no idea what it is like to live with an otherworldly being who is an addict. I wish the only thing that was left here was meth If you find any other illegal drugs or guns you need to contact the ghost police immediately and have them perform an investigation. We can't let this happen to another innocent citizen.”

Michael Auttonberry, 60, was arrested in October after police arrived at his home in response to a purported assault. Auttonberry, cops say, had called 911 to claim that he had been “stabbed on the head by an axe.”

So, this man contacted authorities to say he had been stabbed in the head with an axe. I think if you've been stabbed in the head with an axe calling 911 would be a bit of a challenge. I've known people going through a difficult patch in their life but dealing with axe induced head wounds and drug-addicted specters are new to me. These are some serious poltergeist.



When officers arrived at Auttonberry’s West Monroe home, they determined that he was not suffering from any axe wounds (and there were no assailants in sight). Cops did, however, spot “in plain view on a nightstand an open brown paper containing approximately 1 gram of suspected methamphetamine,” according to a probable cause affidavit. A subsequent pat down of Auttonberry yielded a pill bottle containing an additional gram of meth.

I wonder if he told him that a person in this world wouldn't see his axe wound because he had been stabbed on the head by a ghost axe?

You don't have any head wound.”
It's a wound from a ghost axe.”
I don't see anything.”
Hey, get a police medium here to hold a séance you'll learn about it.”
We don't have a police medium.”
Then how are you going to find out about the ghost putting methamphetamine on my nightstand and in my pocket? I need ghost protection.”



Quizzed by cops, Auttonberry said that "a ghost or intruders"planted the drugs before climbing out a bedroom window. This claim, investigators determined, “was not accurate.”

Wow, this drug-addicted ghost was so gone on drugs, it didn't do its ghost thing and slowly move through walls. It went outside a bedroom window.

Why did you go through a bedroom window. You're a ghost. You can just walk through the walls. You didn't even have to leave. Law enforcement of that world can't see you.”
Damn, these drugs are getting to me. I think I'm ready to go to ghost drug rehab.”

Charged with narcotics possession and making a false report to police, Auttonberry subsequently pleaded guilty to the felony drug charge. He was sentenced to serve “six (6) months at hard labor.”

I can only imagine what it was like in court when he had to admit the methamphetamine was his.

I don't believe a ghost had anything to do with this situation.”
I'm telling you it was a ghost. A drug-addicted ghost who hit me in the head with a ghost axe and ran out of my bedroom window”
If you plead guilty, you'll serve six months at hard labor. If you go to trial, you could spend up to ten years in jail.”



The man's eye's open wide.

Silly me, did I say a ghost? See, I was so confused. I meant to say I was so frightened of ghosts I did drugs. I mean, it is an honest mistake that is easy to make. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was me with the methamphetamine. I have no idea where the ghost axe thing came from.”

I wonder if he was tempted to say the devil made him do it?

Here is a link to the story.



Here is a funny video from It is a Glorious Day.
It is called: The Poo Bus Is Real



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