Sunday, August 11, 2019

In Vermont Politics Has Gone to the Goats, Cats, Gerbils, and Dogs. A Real Story



Anyone who has visited Vermont often comes away thinking it is a pretty unique place. Vermont has stunning outdoor beauty and some great tourist attractions. It also has a town with a mayor who is a goat. This is for real. It is a real goat who is the town's official elected mayor. I would think this was unusual, but the situation becomes even more interesting. It seems the goat's political adversaries were a gerbil name Crystal as well as cats and dogs. I'm sure the birds and fish of the town will have candidates running for mayor next time. The town may not want to be considered fowlaphobic or anti-aquatic species.

Here are some excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.

A 3-year-old Nubian goat named Lincoln is poised to become the first honorary pet mayor of the small Vermont town of Fair Haven.
The nanny goat was chosen this week by townspeople for the one-year post at the community’s Town Meeting Day. Lincoln takes office Tuesday.
The ballot of 16 pets was open to all town residents. Most of the other candidates were dogs and cats; a gerbil named Crystal also was a candidate.



I can only imagine what the debates were like in this race for mayor.

“If elected, I can promise the canine community will obey all of the areas in the town where dog pooping is not permitted,” says the dog.”
“He's lying and his mother was a bi&*h. Never trust a butt-sniffer,” yells the cat.
The dog starts growling and the cat starts hissing until the goat steps in between them.
“Now, now, now, let's just relax. We'll all get a turn to state our position on the issues. We must remember that a town divided against itself cannot stand,” say the Nubian goat named Lincoln.”
“I would like to say we ban all animals that eat small rodents,” yells Crystal the gerbil.
“Aw, go spin on your wheel,” yells the cat.
“I think you came to this meeting after having too much catnip,” yells the dog.
“Why don't you go find a leg to hump?” yells the cat.
Things are about to get violent until the debate moderator tells everyone a vet is in the audience who would like to spade and neuter all of them. The town hall debate then goes silent.



Lincoln, with 13 votes, beat out a dog named Sammie that received 10 votes. The other candidates combined for 30 votes.

I'm sure the dog and cat demanded an instant recount. They may have gone to a local court to try and make this happen.

“Yes your honor, I request a recount in the election. I would say there was some fowl play involved, but no birds were on the ballot.”
“I see no reason to grant a recount. I don't even know why I'm talking to a dog. Motion denied.”
“I see your honor. I would like to point out I am taken for a walk by your residence daily after my evening meal.  It is at a time when I take care of my personal business. When you see what is left on your lawn, think of me.”

During its time as mayor, Lincoln will be expected to attend local events, such as marching in the Memorial Day parade wearing a custom-made sash.
Fair Haven, a town of about 2,500 along the border with New York just west of Rutland, does not have a human mayor.

(Sarcasm Alert)

A town with 2,500 people and the best they can do for a mayor is a goat? Maybe next time they'll vote an Amazon Alexa as their mayor.

Oh, what a sight to see a goat mayor wearing a sash in a Memorial Day parade. What better way to honor all those people in the military who died in the service of our country than with a goat mayor? I'm sure it had to be a custom-made sash. Maybe the town had a horse for its last mayor and that Memorial Day sash just didn't fit the new goat mayor.

What other local events would the goat mayor have to attend? Maybe on Groundhog Day, he has to be present at the reading of The Three Billy Goats Gruff.

The balloting for pet mayor was held alongside the regular Town Meeting Day vote, but any town resident could vote.

I can just see a goat outside a polling place with a sign that reads “Vote for the goat and I won't get gruff.” The cat would have a sign “All my opponents are a bunch of hairballs,” and the dog would have a sign “I can sniff out drugs and a victory.” The gerbil would have a sign, but it would be too small for anyone to read.

Town Manager Joseph Gunter said he heard about a small town in northern Michigan trying something similar and he thought it would be a good way to raise money for a local playground. “It was a great way to introduce the elementary school kids to local government,” he said.

Hey, I guess if it's good enough for northern Michigan it's good enough for Vermont. Both of these places experience serious snow and cold during the winter. I wonder if it has any effect on their behavior.

“I am so sick and tired of this snow and cold.”
“What can we do about it?”
“I know, why don't we elect a goat for mayor.”
“Sounds like a plan.”

I can just imagine what happens when these elementary school kids become adults.

“This election is so stupid.”
“Why?”
“Just look at this voting ballot. There is not a single goat, dog, cat or gerbil on it. In Vermont, this wouldn't happen.”
“I guess things are just different in other places except for northern Michigan. I understand it's the same way there."
“I'm glad there is at least there is one more place in the country where voting makes sense to me.”

So, Vermont is now a special place where you can go and experience great maple syrup and then stay to elect the next goat mayor.

Here is a link to the story.


Here is a funny video from It is a Glorious Day.

It's called: Ekim Interviews a Kinda Radical Group Leader











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