I am the first to admit
I have never been much of an athlete. I've never been very fast or
moved very quick except when my favorite dessert was being served for
dinner. When chocolate cake with chocolate icing was on the menu, I
would match my quickness and speed with that of Usain Bolt. It's
possible my athletic career may have been a success if I was told
there was a chocolate cake with chocolate icing waiting for me in the
end zone or at the end of the race. My life could have then forever
been changed. There is a sport in England that I suppose requires
training and athletic ability. It is toe wrestling. Since it
started in 1976, England has been the place for toe athletes from
around the world to compete. I wonder if it is a consideration to be
an Olympic event or if winners get a chocolate cake with chocolate
icing?
Below are excerpts from
the story with my valuable insights in italics.
The sport got its start
when a group of friends at the Ye Olde Royal Oak Inn lamented
England's lack of dominance in athletics—they wanted a sport where
Brits could reign supreme, and somehow, toe wrestling became the
chosen activity. (Ripley’s, however, notes that a
Canadian visitor won the third annual championship, putting an early
damper on the British preeminence of the sport.)
(Sarcasm Alert)
I like how the English
were disappointed they were not able to dominate a current sporting
event, so they tried to create one where they could dominate. I
wonder if they considered fish and chip eating contests, running
after people yelling “oy” or confusing Americans with their
accent a worthy competitive event. I'm sure the English would
dominate in any of these competitions. It's a shame a Canadian won
the championship. I don't know what's worse, inventing a sport you
can dominate and losing to a Canadian or depending on toe wrestling
to prove you can dominate an athletic competition. Maybe the English
could invent a sport involving toe wrestling and curling and then
show those Canadians how the English can dominate a sport.
Though it might not be a
competition on the global stage, toe wrestling definitely attracts
interest from around the world. Wendy Livingstone, general manager
and events coordinator for Toe Wrestling Championship venue Bentley
Brook Inn, notes she gets interest from various international media.
In fact, one U.S. film company is shooting a mockup of the
competition this summer with long-time champion Alan "Nasty"
Nash. Nash, known for his intimidating "strong man"
physique and even more intimidating big toes, has made quite a name
for himself in the toe wrestling space.
I can only imagine the
nervousness someone would experience knowing they are going to be
going toe-to-toe (couldn't resist) with someone named Nasty Nash in
toe wrestling. I would be seriously hoping this nickname had nothing
to do with the man's hygiene habits for his feet. If I were to see
my competitor's big toe covered in athlete's foot, I'm forfeiting the
match. I would always prefer to toe wrestle with someone known as
Hygienically Healthy Henry or Clean Foot Freddie. I'm sure you can
have a strong man toe physique and be properly clean. I can just
imagine what a Hollywood film would be like for this sport.
The story could involve
a down and out young guy who lives near the docks and makes his
living getting paid by a gangster to kick people. As part of a
promotion for the sport, he gets one shot against the toe wrestling
champion in an exhibition match to make something of himself. The
match doesn't go well, and his toe is severely torn up during it.
His toe wrestling coach tries to talk him out of continuing with the
match, but he refuses.
“I'm calling the
match Tootsie. You've got nothing left. You're getting killed out
there.”
“Don't call the
match. I ain't quitting.”
“Your toenail is
almost torn off, your toe looks like it is out of joint, you can't go
on.”
“It's my life. Cut
me.”
“No.”
“I said cut me.”
“It's your life kid.”
The coach cuts the
toenail off the big toe and Tootsie hobbles back into the toe
wrestling ring. He continues to battle the toe wrestling champion to
a draw. It would make a great Hollywood movie, but it seems oddly
familiar.
Toe wrestling is a
competition between two participants. With their bare feet in a
square ring, opponents sit on the floor, lock their big toes, and
then battle in an arm-wrestle style to wrangle the other’s foot to
the sideboard of the designated wrestling area. The art of toe
wrestling is more skill than strength; opponents are required to keep
non-competing feet in the air with hands flat on the ground.
I wonder if a toe
wrestler would normally have a coach that trains them. They may have
to lift weights with their big toe. Is it possible they would have
to try and catch a wild chicken nugget with their toe? It would be
interesting to go to a gym and see people hitting a punching bag and
others skipping rope as a person in one corner of the gym using his
big toe to lift weights and kick a punching bag as part of his
training. Does a toe wrestling athlete start their day by eating raw
eggs, running and smashing steel bars with their big toe? I don't
know if that is what happens, but it does sound oddly familiar.
Here
is a link to the article.
http://mentalfloss.com/article/502081/inside-englands-annual-toe-wrestling-championship
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