I suppose it happens to athletes. They play a sport as a young child and know the rest of their life will be dedicated to playing it. I'm sure there are doctors who walk out of their physician's office as children and can connect so well with the work, they are ready to spend their life dedicated to the practice of medicine. I'm sure it's the same with teachers, lawyers, accountants, and others. I now have experienced something that could change my life forever. I read this story and know I have all the skills necessary to climb to the top of this profession. NASA is willing to pay people to lay in bed. I've spent decades trying to perfect my style. There are few people more dedicated to this than myself. If it were an Olympic sport, I would be a serious contender for a gold medal.
Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.
If you have ever wanted to get paid to lie in bed, then this job is for you: NASA, the European Space Agency and the German Aerospace Center are offering $18,500 for people to lie in bed for two months. The job is based in Cologne, Germany, and it's part of a study designed to better understand how the body adapts to weightlessness. The agencies are currently looking for people who are female, between the ages of 24 and 55 and who speak German. The official name of the study is the Artificial Gravity Bed Rest Study.
Why female? I challenge any woman to a lay in the bed contest. Any lady taking me up on this should bring their “A” game. When it comes to laying in a bed, I know what I'm dong. I don't speak much German, but I do like to drink German beer, so I'm sure we could work it out. I think if anyone is willing to sacrifice their body for the future of space research and get paid in the process, it should be respected.
Those chosen for the job will have to stay in bed 24 hours a day, seven days a week for 60 straight days. That means no getting up for bathroom breaks, bathing or meals. And the money, well, it comes out to just shy of $13 an hour.
All I can say is at the end of those two months, you are going to be one nasty smelling individual unless they've made some accommodations.
“What is wrong with you? The aroma coming from you is enough to wake the dead.”
“I'll have you know I just spent two months in bed.”
“Really? Were you sick or hurt?”
“Nothing like that at all. You see, I'm a professional.”
“You're a professional at lying in bed?”
“Yes, I was just paid to lie in bed for two months as part of a research project for NASA.”
“Good, now you can afford to wash. Maybe you could become a professional bather.”
“That is a great idea. I'll speak to NASA.”
Besides lying in bed for 60 days, there are other days for orientation, rest and rehabilitation at both ends of the study. The total time period someone has to be available for the study is 89 days, plus several follow up examinations in the years after the study.
I may not be able to fully grasp what is going on here. I just wonder what type of rest and rehabilitation you would need before and after lying in bed for 60 days. Are you going to be so tired from laying in bed for two months, you'll need to lay down in bed to rest? I didn't know that the effects of being in bed for 60 days would result in such mysteries, a person would have to have years of follow-ups. I just assumed if you didn't have any bed sores, you would have pretty much done your job. What type of rehabilitation would be involved?
“I have to go to the bathroom.”
“You're not part of the NASA experiment anymore. You have to get out of bed and use the bathroom.”
“Darn.”
If volunteers are hoping to get some exercise while on the job, fret not...organization has tested everything from jumping in bed to cycling in bed, plus other contraptions that can be mounted to the beds.
You know, I want to maintain a certain level of decency in my writing. So, I will not discuss the NASA research involving contraptions that are able to be mounted on beds. I really would like to, but I think I've said enough. I'm also amazed that NASA tested jumping in bed. When I was a child, I tested jumping on a bed until I got yelled at by my parents. If only I had done research. I like research that involves cycling in bed. Does this involve beds you can cycle around? If this is the case. I may have a new and preferable way to get around town.
Here is a link to the story.
https://www.npr.org/2019/04/14/713303712/do-you-love-lying-in-bed-get-paid-by-nasa-to-do-it-for-space-research
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