Sunday, October 6, 2019

British Woman Marries Herself. A Real Story


I look at some stories and realize I am out of touch with many beliefs held by the younger generations. I always believed that getting married required two people. In my case, it was me and my wife. This made the wedding ceremony quite pleasant as well as the honeymoon and more. I never thought there could be another way. It seems I am really wrong about it. There is a woman who appears to have broken the two-person marriage mold. This trend-setting female married herself. I can only imagine that getting a marriage license would resemble a comedy skit from Monty Python.

“Are you here to get a marriage license?”
“Yes.”
“I see you've filled out your name but the name of the spouse has been left blank.”
“There is a good reason for me doing it.”
“What is the reason?”
“I'm marrying myself.”
“What?”
“I've known myself my entire life. I've been dating myself for such a long time, I felt it was just time for me to take this big step with myself.”
“You can't marry yourself?”
“Why not?”
“People don't marry themselves?'
“Oh, I see you're one of those super old-fashioned individuals. Many people didn't believe gays should have a right to be married, but we now have legalized gay marriage. If you can permit people of the same sex to be married, you can give me a marriage license to marry myself.”
“I have one question.”
“What happens if there comes a time when you want to divorce yourself.”
“I've worked that one out, but I hope it doesn't happen.”
“I agree.”

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.


Writing in The Telegraph, a 42-year-old British woman chortled that the best day of her life came last June — the day she married herself.

Melissa Denton, a two-time a divorcee with two children, writes, “The idea to marry myself came to me in January last year when I was at work one day. Three weeks before, on Christmas Eve, I had received a text message from my boyfriend of five and a half years: ‘I can’t do this anymore, it’s over,’ it said … It was devastating and left me in a funk, unable to eat, sleep or smile.”

I've heard of rebound relationships, but I never heard of someone having a rebound relationship with themselves. This woman was divorced twice. It's not like she hasn't had the marriage experience. I'm sure when she married herself there was no argument about how the ceremony should be conducted or where the wedding should be held. I can imagine if she called her boyfriend who dumped her, and invited him to the wedding and told him she was marrying herself. An interesting conversation would take place.

“I'm over the ending of our relationship. I would like you to come to my wedding.”
“Who are you marrying?”
“Myself.”
“Huh?”
“I know it seems too soon after we broke up, but I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with me. I've moved on and I hope you find happiness as I have with me.”
“I'll be there for one reason.”
“What?”
“I want to see you kiss the bride.”
“I hope you enjoy it.


Denton bought a ring and set the wedding date. She admits her colleagues thought she was crazy, but she had previously shaved her head to raise money for a cancer charity and later dyed her hair pink and wore a nose ring.

(Sarcasm Alert)

Little did I know if you shave your head to raise money for a charity and then wear a nose ring and have pink hair, people should expect you to marry yourself. I'm sure the only reason her colleagues thought she was crazy is that they are all too afraid to marry themselves. I bet most of her friends who are not in a relationship could be dating themselves. It is probably happening without them having any desire to make a commitment to themselves. This is a woman with the moral integrity to honor her relationship with herself with marriage.

What would the wedding vows be like?

“Do you take yourself to be your lawfully wedded husband and wife.”
“I do.”
“Do you promise to love, honor and cherish yourself all the days of your life?”
“I do.”
“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you wedded to yourself. You may now kiss yourself.”


She’s committed to the idea of marrying herself, though: “Some people don’t understand it – but to me, it made absolute sense and that’s why I’m going to renew my vows at a similar ceremony every year, even if I am in a relationship. I have even bought four wedding dresses that can be used in the future. It is a way to centre and value myself, as well as remember that I can receive the love that is equal, not one-sided.


I suppose it is good that she is totally committed. I mean, committed to herself. I like how she is going to renew her wedding vows to herself every year, even if she's in a relationship. I wonder what it would be like to have a girlfriend who asks you to go to a ceremony where she renews her wedding vows to herself. I would find that a bit odd, but I would probably go if she had some really good food and a great DJ. In this situation, you could spend the night with the bride and not worry about having to deal with an angry groom. This story would make a lot more sense if this woman's name was actually Sybil.

Here is a link to the story.


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