Wednesday, October 9, 2019

Man Throws Iguana at Restaurant Manager. A Real Story




I know there are times when I've been traveling in bad parts of town, and I've taken some precautions to assure my safety. It has involved a variety of legal methods used for protection. I know people who travel with dogs for protection. A person in Ohio took packing a weapon to an entirely new level. He attacked someone with an iguana. I never knew that an iguana was something you could use in situations where you feel threatened.

“Give me all your money.”
“Back off man or I'll be forced to defend myself.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I'm warning you.”
“What do you have? You can't do anything.”
“I'm packing an iguana.”
“Okay, I wouldn't be scared if it was a gun, but an Iguana is a completely different story. I'm out of here.”

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.


According to authorities, the man threw a menu at a waitress at a Perkins Restaurant in Painesville on April 16. When a manager intervened, the man removed the iguana from beneath his shirt, twirled it around and threw it at him, police said. Authorities haven't said what provoked the attack.

What was this person thinking? I hope they realize that resolving their problem with a restaurant's service or their menu is not something resolved by throwing creatures at the manager. Did he believe that after throwing a menu at a waitress and an iguana at the manager they would then understand what the problem was and try to resolve it?

“I'm confused why this customer is so upset.”
“What did they say?”
“It's not what they said, it's what they did that upset me.”
“What did they do?”
“They threw a menu at me.”
“What a jerk. I guess he didn't like our prices.”
“No, that's not it.”
“Why?”
“Because then he took an iguana from under his shirt and threw it at the manager.”
“Oh, the ole' throw an iguana from under the shirt routine. It is clear what the problem was in this situation.”
“What was it?”
“You don't offer discounts to people on psychotic medication. It happens all the time.”
“Oh.”


An iguana injured when a man pulled the lizard from under his shirt and threw it at an Ohio restaurant manager remains in protective custody at a humane society that is awaiting court permission to provide medical treatment.

I can only imagine the poor iguana at a human society hospital speaking with other iguanas about their injury.

“What happened to you?”
“I was bitten by a dog?”
“Why are you in the hospital?”
“I was hit by a car.”
“How about you?”
“I broke my leg when my owner took me out from under his shirt and threw me at a restaurant manager.”
“Oh.”

The turquoise female iguana that police named "Copper" has a broken leg, metabolic bone disease, and other ailments, Lake County Humane Society officials told WEWS-TV. The animal needs surgery that will cost about $1,600, but that can't happen until a judge gives approval because the Humane Society is not its owner, society intake coordinator Allison Rothlisberger said Saturday.


A judge who is used to issuing criminal search warrants, sentencing criminal to prison and presiding over court cases will be asked to approve iguana surgery. So, the Humane Society is acting like an iguana foster parent. I'm going to bet this is a difficult situation because I doubt the iguana had medical coverage. I think its owner would want to have it covered since throwing it at restaurant managers it probably very hazardous to an iguana's health.

The Humane Society is seeking tax-deductible donations to pay for the surgery. Copper is receiving basic care, for now, to make the lizard as comfortable as possible, Rothlisberger said.

I wonder what it takes to make an iguana comfortable? Are they placed on a nice bed with plenty of leaves to eat as a television runs the Animal Planet show on cable? Do they like watching the movie The Night of the Iguana? Maybe they get very motivated watching Godzilla movies.



The iguana's 49-year-old owner has been charged with cruelty to animals and disorderly conduct, both misdemeanor charges.

I hope the judge who gave permission for the iguana to receive medical care would be the one to pass judgment on this guy. I hope the judge threw the book at him. A big picture book filled with images of iguanas. Maybe the book would be big enough to hit the man and break his leg. Another part of his punishment could be to have wait staff from Perkins come in and throw menus at him. Then he would get served justice.

Here is a link to the article.





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