Thursday, October 10, 2019

Man With Moose Poop for Political Protest Stopped by TSA. A Real Story.



I don't do a lot of flying. When I do, I usually don't go too far. I make certain before I leave do not take anything the TSA does not permit. I am not tempted to try and take ammunition in my carry-on luggage. Other things such as blasting caps, dynamite as well as gasoline, firearms, flare guns, and rocket launchers are not something I would travel to the airport and have in my luggage. These must be things people have tried to take onto airplanes. All of them are listed on the TSA website as items you can not have in your luggage. The fact they have to be listed makes me wonder about people.

“I'm sorry sir, you can not take these items we found in your luggage on the flight.”
“Why not?”
“I'm sorry but federal regulations prohibit anyone from taking dynamite and gasoline in their luggage.”
“Can I keep my rocket launcher?”
“Sorry, I can't let you have that on your flight either.”
“Next thing you know, you'll tell me I can't have my flare gun.”
“Step out of line sir. I think we may need to recheck your baggage.”
“Oops.”

It appears one person in Alaska may have really challenged the rules when he tried to take moose poop with him on his flight. I'm sure the TSA was not pleased, but I don't know if there was a rule preventing taking animal feces on flights. I imagine there could be one now.

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.


One traveler’s unconventional carry-on at an Alaska airport this month provided a teachable moment for fliers around the country.

“Yes, you can bring moose poop to a checkpoint!” Lisa Farbstein, a spokesperson for the Transportation Security Administration, wrote in a Twitter post on April 23. “And someone did last week at Juneau Int’l Airport.”

Okay, let's get the puns out of the way.

This was pretty crappy of this individual.

You may think the airlines don't take any crap, but they do if it's moose crap.

At the airport, if someone tells you you're full of crap, you can respond by saying no you are not, but you can't say the same for your luggage.

You can tell people at the airport something scared the crap out of a moose, and you have the crap to prove it.

Enough.

I wonder if this person was packing for their trip and things got interesting.

“I have my shirts, socks and important papers.”
“Do you have your computer?”
“Yes.”
“Do you have all your toiletries like toothbrush, toothpaste, and hairbrush?”
“Yes.”
“Do you have your moose poop?”
“I better check my luggage again. I don't want to leave home without it.
“Good idea.”


According to the TSA, the man’s carry-on was flagged at Juneau International Airport on April 15 because equipment caught “a large organic mass” in the luggage, which could have been a sign of explosive material, the KTOO reports.

I can only imagine what it would be like to see a large organic mass in a person's luggage and be afraid it was an explosive material. Then you later discover it was moose poop. I'm sure it would make for some rather interesting conversation at the dinner table.

“What did you do today?”
“Oh, me and the crew worked hard to put up the frame of a house.”
“How about you?”
“It was a typical day at the office. We just spent the day shuffling papers and working on the computer.”
“How about you?”
“I detected a large organic mass in someone's luggage. We thought it could be explosives, but it turned out to be moose poop.”
“Now our meatloaf dinner tastes a little better. Chocolate pudding for dessert.”


That’s when officers looked inside and discovered the bag of feces — and when the man told them “that he collects this and likes to present it, ‘For politicians and their bleep policies,’” Farbstein said, according to KTOO.

I have heard of people carrying signs and protesting. I've seen people wear costumes to protest. There are people who have put on some rather bizarre demonstrations as part of political protests. I can only imagine being a politician and having someone present moose poop to you to protest your policies. Since he used the word plural politicians, I suppose he intended to provide it to more than one politician. Some politicians may view this as a way to help their next campaign. They can tell their constituent how much crap they took to get their policy approved. It included moose crap and more. I can only imagine a politician feeling left out if nobody gave them moose poop when all the other politicians got their moose poop. They slighted may start a moose poop investigation.


“TSA actually will screen just about anything people bring to the checkpoint,” Farbstein said, according to KTOO. “But it is smart — and if it’s more on the unusual side — to check with an airline to see if they have any limits or restrictions as it relates to what it is you want to bring.”

(Sarcasm Alert)

The lesson to be learned here is if you plan to transport poop for political purposes or any other purpose, it is best to check with the airlines first. You don't want to fly on an airline that is not political poop friendly. I believe if an airline wants to become a leader in the political poop transportation industry, they should post their poop friendly policies online. This would make certain protesters choose the right airline when deciding who to give their political poop transportation business. I just hope members of the funeral industry don't want to start protesting. I don't want to think about what they would want to give to politicians.

Here is a link to the story.


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