Thursday, September 5, 2019

Russians and Koreans Trying to Build an Actual Jurassic Park. A Real Story


I've seen all of the Jurassic Park movies. I even read the excellent novel it was based on by Michael Crichton. I can honestly say that I enjoyed it as a work of fiction. I'm sure I speak for many people when I say, Jurassic Park is nothing I would like to see happen in the real world. There is a saying about people who fail to learn from history, they are doomed to repeat it. Maybe there should be a new saying. It should be about people who fail to realize fiction is better left as fiction and making it possible for a tyrannosaurus to run around during a picnic at your favorite park should not happen.

“What do you think about the Russians and Koreans making it possible for a tyrannosaurus to get free and roam the park?”
“It's really scary, but my running times have never been faster.”

Below are excerpts from the story with my valuable insights in italics.

Russia will unveil their plans to open a $5.9 million lab in the Siberian city of Yakutsk that hopes to quickly become a “world-class pale-genetic scientific center,” according to The Siberian Times.

Together with the South Korean SOOAM Biotech Research Foundation, Russian scientists from the Northern-Eastern Federal University are set to research the genetics of a number of extinct species once native to the area, such the woolly mammoths, woolly rhinoceros, cave lions, and breeds of extinct horses. Although their end goal is still a fair few years from completion, they say their research will help bring these extinct species out of extinction.


I can imagine there would be some serious culture clashes between the Koreans and the Russians.

“Do you have any borscht?”
“I'm sorry, we only have kimchi.”
“Do you have any vodka?”
“I'm sorry, we only have soju.”
“Okay, just give me a fork.”
“I'm sorry, we only have chopsticks.”
“This is going to be a long research time.”
“I agree.”

I wonder what the benefit there would be to having a woolly rhinoceros or woolly mammoth come back from extinction? Is there a market for rhinoceros and mammoth wool?
“I just love my new alpaca wool coat.”
“I know, I wear my camel hair sweater all the time.”
“I agree. My wife loves her woolly rhinoceros coat and I just love my woolly mammoth sweater.”

Maybe there are predators trying to encourage bringing back these large species. Cave lions would be good if you put things in a cave you wanted to keep safe.

“I would like some more borscht.”
“Okay, but it's your turn to deal with the cave lion we brought back from being extinct so it could guard our food.”
“Alright, I'll go.”
“One last thing.”
“What?”
“Could you also get some kimchi while you're at it?”


However, resurrecting extinct species is no small feat, primarily because DNA degrades over time. Even if some of the soft tissue is preserved in permafrost, scientists are left piecing together odd fragments of DNA. It’s hoped that animals such as the mammoth or cave lion have close enough living relatives to fill in the gaps, à la the frog DNA in Jurassic Park.

This gives me hope. I'm hoping the tyrannosaurus and all the other big scary dinosaurs featured in Jurassic Park have no close living relatives today. May the gaps in their DNA be far and wide. Why do we have to do dinosaurs? How about the golden toad? Seems like a good idea. I think we could bring back the Caribbean monk seal as well as the Pinta Island tortoise. If these creatures are brought back from extinction, and break free from their enclosure, I would feel pretty good about my chances of getting away from them.



Even if it’s scientifically possible to reconstruct an extinct species, it comes with a bunch of ethical questions. As Dr. Malcolm from Jurassic Park famous quipped, “Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.”

Have they not seen the movies or read the book? Each of these scientists should be forced to read Michael Crichton's book. They should then be forced to watch the movies.

At the beginning and end of each movie, someone should stand in front of them and say, “I know what you just read and saw are works of fiction. So, does life imitate art or does art imitate life? I hope each of you took detailed notes and realize how well those dinosaurs liked to dine on scientist du jour. These creatures were downing researchers like they were human pez. Think about what you're doing. It may be woolly mammoths and cave lions today, but before you know it, velociraptors are running around free and treating each of you as if you're a single serving of borscht or kimichi.”

Here is a link to the story.



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