I know many people who are proud of the unique items they’ve collected over the years. A friend of mine once shared his collection of vials containing beach sand from all over the world with me. They were from places he’d visited while serving in the Navy. Another person I know has a collection of electric insulators and also proudly displays a tobacco rack from the colonial times in his apartment. None of these collectors come close to a couple from Duleek, Ireland for having a unique collectible article. In their home, this Irish couple actually keeps the skull of a Catholic saint. Not just any saint, they have Vitalis Dome, who is otherwise known as the patron saint against sickness and disease affecting the genitals. Talk about a conversation piece. I suppose it’s just a coincidence that his initials are VD.
Vitalis Dome lived from 1295 to May 31, 1370. It is said that prior to being saintly he led a rather immoral life. I don’t know exactly what type of immoral activity he engaged in. That was before the ACLU so it couldn’t have been praying in school.
(If you didn't realize it: the previous sentence was sarcasm).
Whatever it was I bet the immorality of today would put his to shame. Nowadays Vitalis would be told he is not responsible for anything he’s done because he’s the victim of an unjust society. If immorality was the determining factor in being the patron saint against sickness and disease affecting the genitals, I’m sure many people these days would qualify.
“Oh, I am an immoral man.”
“What did you do?”
“There have been days when I have not prayed. I have had impure thoughts about women.”
“That’s it? No children out of wedlock? No criminal activity? No use of illegal drugs? No gambling away family money? No killing people? You make the rest of us look like we don’t know what we’re doing. I think it’s immoral for you to claim you’re immoral.”
During his life, he attempted to make amends for his corrupt past and went on a pilgrimage to a number of sanctuaries in Italy and Europe. When he returned home he decided to become a Benedictine Monk. This meant he could not own property, go beyond the monastery walls without permission or get letters from home and had to go to bed early. He later lived as a hermit. This was obviously a time before electronic monitoring devices and webcams. I believe he became a hermit because he probably felt he’d been immoral, but not immoral enough to deserve that monastery treatment.
He spent the rest of his life in utter poverty. His one possession was an old container he used for drinking water from a nearby spring. Now is when his story gets interesting. Supposedly his reputation for holiness spread after his death. Then how did someone like this get to be made the patron saint against sicknesses and diseases affecting the genitals?
“Guess what? The Pope just made Vitalis Dome a saint. What do we have for him to be the patron saint of?”
“All we have right now is sicknesses and diseases affecting the genitals.”
“Vitalis Dome was a very holy man. Why would we give him such a designation?”
“I’m not saying anything specific, but during his immoral days, he was something to see. Aspiring immoral people would follow him around and take notes.”
“I guess it’s appropriate.”
“You have no idea.”
Now the decapitated skull of Saint Vitalis Dome is sitting in someone’s house in Ireland awaiting an auction that will determine where it will rest next. For many years the current owners had it on display at the entrance hall of their home. I can just see horrified guests arrive at this house and point to the skull in the entrance hall.
“What’s that?”
“Oh that, it’s just the skull of Saint Vitalis Dome the patron saint against sicknesses and diseases affecting the genitals. We really think it adds something special to the entrance hall. We’ve tried to find skulls from other patron saints to balance out the entrance but so far no luck.”
“Just keep looking.”
“I’m sure one will turn up eventually.”
The Irish couple with the patron saint skull seems to be very sensitive people. They relocate the skull to an outhouse when children visit them. I suppose if you’re so desperate to go to the bathroom you’ll use an outhouse, a patron saint skull isn’t going to bother you too much.
Where I get lost in this story is not so much the auctioning of a patron saint’s skull. It’s that not one person in this story thought about finding the rest of Vitalis Dome’s remains and reuniting them with his skull. I don't think he roamed this earth with just his skull. If he did, that would be a great story as well as the subject of many sick jokes.
This story is unique and unusual, but it just doesn’t feel like a good idea. There is just something about adorning your home with body parts of a dead patron saint that just doesn't seem right. Maybe we can remember what the person did without making their dead body parts an eye-catching element of our home decor.
Here is a link to the article.
Here is a funny video from It is a Glorious Day.
It is called: Blues Man K-Ski
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