Recently 550 supposed health professional and organizations signed a letter to McDonald’s Corp. asking the largest fast-food organization to stop marketing junk food to kids and retire Ronald McDonald. Talk about a bunch of people who didn’t get enough attention when they were growing up. I suppose when someone wants to make themselves feel important they attack McDonalds or some another big name corporation.
This campaign has been organized by a group of individuals who call their outfit Corporate Accountability International (CAI). This CAI campaign may be well intentioned. It may be based on a sincere desire to address the problem of childhood obesity. Then again it may also be motivated by people who have a deep emotional need to control other people’s lives. Do they believe they’re saving us from ourselves?
Ronald McDonald has been pimping burgers since 1963. The first Ronald McDonald was Willard Scott who performed as “Ronald McDonald the happy hamburger clown.” This clown is probably the best burger pimp the world has ever known. I am among the legions of followers of this well-known burger pimping clown. I don’t understand why he could be so bad now. For the past 48 years we all happily ate the food at McDonald’s and just went about our business.
Nowadays things are different. We currently live in a world where nobody wants to be responsible for anything they do. Today if someone eats too much McDonald’s food and gets fat these people want you to think it’s not their fault. These fat, irresponsible people would like everyone to believe that McDonald’s emits a strange high-pitched sound that makes them helplessly go into McDonald’s like zombies and eat too much food against their will. They would like us to accept that they have no control over the power of McDonald’s marketing. Puhleeeeese!
Do these individuals at the CAI comprehend that what most children eat is controlled by their parents? Are they able to grasp the concept that eating habits are something taught to kids by those same individuals who opened up the world of potty training to their Happy Meal eating offspring? They’re called parents.
“Don’t you understand my child that McDonald’s will only feed you food that is high in salt, fat, sugar and calories?”
“Me want McDonald’s or poo poo in my pants then scream for hour.”
“Okay, but after you graduate from high school next month we’re not giving in to you again.”
“Oh yeah, well we’ll just see about that.”
It appears CAI feels that McDonald’s is an evil corporation with a desire to destroy the lives of people without regard to their health. This organization seems to believe parents aren’t to blame for what their children eat. Do they think McDonald’s should be held accountable for what a parent feeds their children? Are fast-food restaurants now supposed to be pseudo parenting operations?
Actually Ronald McDonald is only the front man for this evil corporate enterprise. Behind him is an entire network of immoral characters utilized in McDonalds’s burger pimping program for children. Resistance to any of these characters is obviously futile.
First there is the Hamburglar. He is constantly trying to get someone else’s hamburger. Let’s face it; McDonald’s is obviously trying to market stealing other people’s food to children. It doesn’t end there. There’s the Grimace which is a purple thing with eyes and arms. Is McDonald’s trying to promote purple things to our unknowing children? Birdie is a bird that seems a bit crazy. What person can’t see that McDonald’s is marketing insanity to our children? How could anyone ignore the warped political messages McDonald’s is promoting?. There is Mayor McCheese, a rather bizarrely dressed cheeseburger who has never been voted out of office. Supporting him is his top cop Big Mac. Obviously Big Mac is the real reason the mayor has been in office for so long. This is clearly an attempt by McDonalds to endorse political corruption to our children. It doesn’t stop there. There’s Captain Crook who has a cheeseburger head and must be related to Mayor McCheese. I think McDonald’s wants children to believe in nepotism. Fry Guy and Fry Girl are just there to confuse kids and if that isn’t enough they throw in the Chicken McNuggets characters to finish the job.
Fast food may be just the tip of the iceberg. Is it time to realize that McDonald’s Corp. is determined to make all of us fat, morally corrupt helpless people? We should praise the efforts of the CAI to protect us from this despicable corporation.
(NOTE: Should you not see that the previous three paragraphs are dripping with sarcasm please check yourself into a hospital for the terminally stupid)
Simply because a child wants to eat at McDonald’s doesn’t mean they should. I’ve seen many parents eat regularly at McDonald’s not because of its marketing, but because it was easier than cooking. Maybe the CAI and other organizations like it need to write letters to lazy parents informing them about the benefits of cooking for their children. Then these parents would actually be responsible for what their children ate. Why would anyone want to do such a thing when it’s so much easier just to blame a corporation?
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