When I was a kid, we
always talked about what it would be like to encounter Bigfoot. This
was a time when it was normal for kids to spend a lot of time in the
woods. We had our Boy Scout pocket knives, brown bag lunches and
carried bottles of root beer. We were ready for anything. We'd
often joke about what we would do if we encountered Bigfoot. As
young guys, we felt we'd be able to handle it. He couldn't catch us
because we all ran so fast. One friend said if Bigfoot came at him,
he'd just pick up a rock and hit that big hairy dude between the
eyes. Another friend said he could hit Bigfoot in the crowned jewels with
a coke bottle after he finished drinking it. Then would easily getaway. I wasn't afraid, I had my Boy Scout pocket knife. I'm sure
Bigfoot never came near us when we were in the woods because we were
very brave and capable young boys. It could also be because nobody,
where we lived, ever saw Bigfoot. I like to think this creature was
too afraid to come near such well-prepared young boys.
It seems a woman in
North Carolina knows that Bigfoot has a sweet tooth. You have to
think that being Bigfoot probably means you can't get dove bars or
chocolate bars and more any time you want them. If you are a Bigfoot
and walk into a story, it may not go well.
Below are excerpts from
the story with my valuable insights in italics.
The legendary creature was
reportedly spotted by a North Carolina woman in the woods behind her
home, according to a WCNC report. While "reports" of the
mythical creature in North Carolina is nothing new, it
apparently has a taste for processed sugar and carbs.
Mostly like candy,
cookies, they love peanut brittle, chocolate, peanut butter
sandwiches," said Shelby resident Vicky Cook. "They don't
like apples and bananas."
This does make you
wonder about what things Bigfoot eats. I'm sure this creature has
been living with the Paleolithic diet for a very long time. If you
go from eating roots, nuts, and grain-based foods to having an
opportunity at having some chocolate peanut butter and peanut brittle
as well as pasta, you're are going to ignore the bananas and apples.
In that regard, I'm the same as Bigfoot. I can only imagine if
Bigfoot had the opportunity to have ice cream or lemon meringue pie.
Bigfoot sightings may start taking place at popular restaurants.
Cook was able to capture
what she believed to be the creature on her camera, adding that she's
not quite exactly sure of what she saw and is still having trouble
believing it herself.
"Sometimes I think
this can't be real," she continued. "It went in front of my
camera. I screamed I didn't know what it was, but that thing was
tall!"
If she had chocolate,
candy, peanut brittle and cookies out, it could have been many
different kinds of Bigfoot. There is the young teenager with a
ravenous appetite Bigfoot. It could also have been the, I have an
extreme sweet tooth Bigfoot. There have been times when I have been
confused with a chocoholic Bigfoot. I hope it wasn't me as I have
gone in front of the cameras and had people scream. Many people have
said they didn't know what I was and what happened to their
chocolate.
Cook noted that the
sightings started in March and since then, she's had eight
footprints, all in different sizes. "This is a juvenile,
but look at how long it is," she said. "That's a big ...
big print."
I would hate to think
of all the costs involved with feeding a teenage Bigfoot. It is
possible some parts of the forest could be ravaged if there are too
many teenage Bigfoots. Those who have raised teenage boys know
exactly what I am talking about. If it was in March, it could have
been part of the Bigfoot spring break. If the worst thing a teenage
Bigfoot is laying around in the forest and eating sweets during the
warm months of the year as the Bigfoot parents try to get them to do
work around where they live in the forest. We may be more like
Bigfoot than we realize
the legendary creature
has had a slow start...Perhaps Bigfoot caught wind that baseball
player-turned loose cannon Jose Canseco
We can only hope that
Bigfoot is a baseball fan and would like to have Jose Conseco's
autograph to add to his collection. I have no idea why Bigfoot has
had a slow start, but it is possible Bigfoot parents are trying to
teach their children about a proper diet and the benefits of eating
sweets in moderation. I know I will never see a Bigfoot if I go in
the woods, I still have my Boy Scout pocket knife.
Below is a link to the
article.
https://www.foxnews.com/tech/bigfoot-north-carolina-candy-cookies
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