When people mention rats to me I always have this image of a disgusting furry creature with a long tail crawling along a pipe in some sewer and squeaking at me how I probably taste like peanut butter. I then remember the 1971 movie “Willard.” For those of you who’ve never heard of this movie trust me, it’s one you don’t easily forget. In short, it was about a guy named Willard who trained rats to eat up people who had done him wrong. The only problem was he made the rats angry and they ate him up. I suppose this incident occurred after collective bargaining failed to create an amicable solution concerning issues affecting both Willard and the rats.
“You can have all the food in the house including the cat.”
“That’s unacceptable because we want all that and at least one of your neighbor’s kids to eat.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Then forget the kid we’ll just dine on you.”
There was a remake of Willard in 2003. I suppose after seeing the 2003 version someone who loved rats decided this species needs a new look. After probably discussing the situation with a rat image consultant I’m sure it was decided to hold a rat inspired convention.
The Fancy Rat Convention is held in New York City. (New York City and fancy rats? I’m not going there.) The rat owners who attended the convention claimed that despite the negative stereotypes associated with rats they see the rodents as good pets. The owners stated rats have amazing personalities which make them better pets than cats, dogs or ferrets. They also say that rats are sociable, intelligent, loving and can be trained to do all kinds of tricks from dancing to fetching. I wonder if they could even learn how to help a little old lady cross a busy street?.
I don’t know how I would react to seeing a dancing rat. Would the dance be contemporary, jazz, hip hop or ballroom? Sewers will never be the same. I bet playing fetch with a rat outside guarantees a reaction from the neighbors. I do believe rats can be trained to perform all sorts of things. In the movie Willard, it was Ernst Borgnine who was a real jerk. In one scene ole Ernst goes to Willard’s house and is surrounded by rats. Willard gets a little crazy and yells to the rats “tear him up.” The rats then have steak tartar a la Ernst Borgnine. If I had such finely trained pet rats at home you can bet I’d have a different attitude at work.
As with all conventions, there are vendors who attend such events to sell their products to attendees. The Fancy Rat Convention was no exception. Ada Nieves is a pet fashion designer. During the convention, she showed off her rodent clothing collection including rat tuxedos, wedding dresses, bridesmaid’s gowns, and other exclusive designs. I suppose one of the last things you want to experience in life is showing up for a formal event with an improperly attired rat.
Ada Nieves is a highly skilled fashion designer and a rodent fashion show was held featuring Ada’s rat clothing designs. The outfits worn during the show came with crystals, feathers and frilly tutus which sold for around $80.00 each. And I thought dog owners got a little bizarre about their pets.
“Squeak.”
“I’m sorry the problem is not with me it’s you. You’ve been eating too much peanut butter and it shows. You’ll have to do something to lose the weight before the fashion show.”
“Squeak.”
“I’m telling you the crystals don’t make you look fat. Trim a bit of your fur and you’ll be just fine.”
“Squeak.”
“What do you mean you have a photo shoot for a magazine layout in an hour? You’ll have to reschedule. I need you for the show.”
The fashion show was organized by a group called “The Big Apple Rattery” which provided all of the rat models. I can only imagine the many pictures of aspiring rat models they had to look at before they found the right ones for the job.
“I like this one but her eyes are too pink.”
“This one is good but her whiskers are all wrong for what we want.”
“It’s just not easy to find a rat with the special look we need.”
Since the rats of today are very fashion conscious they can’t be expected to live in squalor. Owners were spending a fortune on items for their rat’s cages such as furniture, toys, hammocks, rat wheels and harnesses. I’m sure the rats are anxiously awaiting the development of a mini television so they can watch DVDs of their rat fashion shows.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t end with the convention. There is also World Rat Day. The organizers of this event want greater recognition and admiration for the rat’s image which suffers because of ignorance and unthinking prejudice. I suppose these people weren’t big fans of the movie “Willard” or ever heard of a little thing that occurred a few years ago called the bubonic plague. Talk about a bunch of people who are caught up in the rat race where the rats have actually won.
Here is a link to the story
Here is a funny video from
It is a Glorious Day.
It is called: Ekim
Interviews a man named Boris
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