I must admit I have done some practical jokes in my time. There are jokes I did in my youth that are still talked about today, decades after they happened. Back in the day for punishment we got paddled. More specifically we called it getting “swats.” Getting a few swats and sent back to class was what I had to pay for doing memorable practical jokes. Unfortunately times have certainly changed. Tyell Morton tried to pull a practical joke on the last day of school and may end up in jail for eight years.
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It all started when Morton had the idea of putting a blow-up sex doll in the bathroom at Rushville Consolidated High School in Indianapolis. I must admit that’s a pretty good prank. I can only imagine the look on a janitor’s face coming in to the bathroom and seeing a blow-up sex doll staring at them. It would be even better if it was in a stall and the expression on someone’s face when they open up and see this doll looking back at them. It would’ve been quite funny. I’ll admit if I would’ve thought of it back when I was in high school and could’ve obtained a blow-up sex doll any amount of swats would’ve been worth it.
It’s not like the time on the way to school me and a friend found a real pig’s head in the garbage that had been stuffed. We took the stuffed pig’s head and placed it in girl’s locker before school started. It was set up so when she opened the locker door it would fall at her. Unfortunately for us the girl was out of school that day and we forgot about it. The following Monday she came back and opened her locker. It was then this girl proved her voice was in tip top shape and she started to scream. Other girls who saw the stuffed pig’s head joined in the terrorized vocal experience. They all had a scream fest to remember. At that point it was a little scary because we didn’t know if we would get caught. Eventually someone turned us in and we got swats and a suspension. The sight of that stuffed pig’s head with its stupid expression, mouth open and glass eyes laying on the floor with the girls screaming and running around it like they were on fire was priceless.
Unfortunately for Tyell Morton a janitor at the school saw him run away from the school. Security footage showed a person in a hooded sweatshirt and gloves entering the school with a package and leaving five minutes later without it. When administrators saw the footage they feared the package could have been explosives. They locked down the school and called police. The K9 unit and the bomb squad arrived to search the building. I can only imagine their surprise when they discovered the sex doll.
“Have you located the mysterious package?”
“Yes.”
“Was it a bomb?”
“It was a blow-up sex doll.”
“Is it in an evidence bag?”
“No.”
“Where’s it at?”
“The administrator wants to take it home and runs some tests.”
“Oh.”
When it was discovered it was Tyell Morton who had put the doll in the bathroom he was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct and something called “institutional criminal mischief” which is a felony that could put Morton in prison for two to eight years. It seems someone destroyed more than their fair share of brain cells during a few parties during college. The school’s administrator said they had an unknown intruder in the building delivering an unknown package and you can’t be too cautious in this day and age. Obviously once you do know the reality of the situation you can be too stupid. I can see this administrator during graduation congratulate Morton on getting his diploma and then apologize for that life-time felony conviction he got over a blow-up sex doll prank.
The county prosecutor said he doesn’t intend to seek a prison term for Morton but the charges are warranted. (If the Rush County Prosecutor, Philip J. Caviness, is reading this the following sentences are sarcasm) I can see his point. He’s obviously an advocate for blow-up sex doll rights. Far too long have these blow-up dolls been treated as if they’re not human. Used in school pranks and in other nefarious ways it’s time they get the respect they deserve. I’m sure they’re just innocent dolls here illegally and have to turn to the blow-up sex doll trade just to survive.
I do feel badly for Tyell Morton. It must be terrible to realize he didn’t get arrested for illegal drugs, stealing, shooting someone or even hurting another person. He may start his adult life with a felony conviction because of a harmless prank. The talk should be about the reaction of people to finding a blow-up sex doll in the bathroom and not about a criminal offense. I believe swats and a suspension beat a felony conviction but people see things different now. Morton didn’t make things the way they are in this world but unfortunately he has to suffer the consequences.
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