MEDIA HARLOTS

            Unfortunately in our society there are many people who have an overwhelming desire to get media attention.  Some have acting or dancing talent.  Others have no talent at all and may be on a reality television show or become a politician.  Still there are others who realize nobody really wants to see them on television unless they do something outrageous, dangers or stupid, can’t get on a reality show or want to run for public office.

            Let’s say you’re a magician from New York called Richie Magic.  The reality of living in a city the size of New York is that there are a lot of magicians.  How do you make yourself stand out from the herd of performing magicians and get media attention?  Simple, you tell the media you’re going to quit smoking and eat cartons of lit cigarettes at a public park.  Doesn’t seem like someone I’d want to book for a children’s birthday party.

            “Can we have balloon animals?”

            “No.”

            “Are you going to do magic card tricks?”

            “No?

            “Pull a rabbit out of your hat?”

            “No.”

            “What are you going to do?”

            “Light your parent’s cartoon of cigarettes and eat them.”

            “Why?”

            “I was running late and had to skip lunch.”

            “Oh.”

            The next media addicts are two guys in New York City who scaled the New York Times building when it launched its brand new headquarters.  The first guy was a man from France who made it to the top and unfurled a banner about global warming.  I’m sure this was very effective because people probably now believe global warming is the main cause of individuals having a desire to climb skyscrapers.  A few hours later a second man who was from New York City started his climb.  The New Yorker did it for something far more important then global warming.  He climbed a 52 story building so he could bring attention to the dangers of malaria.  If you don’t ever think about malaria I’m sure watching someone climb a huge building puts it right in your mind.

            Then there is the case of Ashrita Furman who holds the Guinness Book of World records for holding the most world records.  He isn’t the biggest or the smallest in anything but holds world records in things like eating M&Ms with chopsticks while blindfolded (17 in one minute) or cucumber snapping (118 in one minute) and underwater hula hooping (longest time  with 2 minutes and 18 seconds).  He holds a total of 130 in all.  All I can say is this is one man with way too much time on his hands.  I wonder if there’s a world record for making people wonder about you.

            Then there is an individual called The Tron Guy.  It appears that a computer programmer by the name of Jay Maynard created a costume based on the original version of the movie Tron.  It was a big internet hit but unfortunately his thirst for media attention drove him to be a contestant on America’s Got Talent.  To be kind it did not go well.  I guess this is what happens when a computer geek’s ego is fed in the cyber world and then tries to deal with the real world.

            Sometimes a media harlot’s desire for fame and attention can cause them to even use their own family members.  I’m talking about Balloon Boy’s father.  Our nation had a collective lump in our collective throats as we watched a silver saucer shaped balloon travel through the sky with what we thought contained a six-year-old boy.  When it landed and no child was found it was discovered the whole thing was a publicity stunt.  On the one hand you hated being played that way on the other at least he wasn’t low enough to actually put his son’s life at risk.  After getting out of jail he decided he wanted some more attention so he put the balloon saucer up for auction.  This man is a media addict.

            Of course there is also Rick from Montreal who has tattooed an entire skeleton all over his body.  His face and the rest of him have been tattooed.  I know the internet is filled with his images and stories abound about him.  People want to know the reason and the cost for the tattooing and how he thinks it’ll look when he gets older.  He is now a fashion model.  Models that starve themselves to near death or put skeleton tattoos all over their bodies to get a job does make me wonder about the fashion industry. 

            “Oh darling I love your skeleton tattoo.”

            “It’s not a tattoo.”

            “What is it?”

            “I’ve not eaten a meal in six months in order to get this job.”

            “Oh.”

            There was a time when the only way to be on television was to have performing talent or be on a game show.  Unfortunately you can now get quite a bit of media attention for just being strange.  I suppose if you want to compete with the oddities of politics for media attention you’ve really got to bump up your game.

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