Millions of people watched the royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton. There were many people extremely caught up in the spectacular images of all the pomp and circumstances associated with such an occasion. There were people who have absolutely nothing to do with England or the royal family and invested emotion and feeling into this wedding. Then there were other individuals such as myself. I felt congratulation were in order for the married couple. I wasn’t invited to the wedding which was a relief because I can only imagine how much money I’d have to kick out for a wedding present. For some reason I don’t think a Cuisinart bread maker would be appropriate.
I did get frustrated because it seemed I couldn’t get away from people who were enamored with the Prince William and Kate Middleton nuptials. I saw one woman break down crying and get consoled from a moist eyed friend claiming it was so romantic. This was a moment when I struggled to control my gag reflexes. I know I’m not alone because there is an entrepreneur who realized there’s a market for royal wedding nauseated individuals like me. Graphic designer Lydia Leith from England has designed a Royal Wedding barf bag. For those of us who risk losing our latest meal from people swooning over the royal couple we can now do it in a sick bag with the picture of Prince William and Kate Middleton on it. I think this is appropriate and using it would make me feel, in some small way, like I was a part of the royal wedding.
During football season many people plan what to eat during the sporting event. Those who view their recordings of the royal wedding will probably have the same food planning requirements. They should be happy to know that Papa John’s has their back. The company is offering royal wedding watchers a pizza with a mosaic image of Prince William and Kate Middleton on it made from pizza toppings. Now who could resist a pizza with the likeness of a royal couple on it made from mushrooms, black olives, pepperoni and more? When people are busy enjoying their royal pizza I’m certain they’re going to get thirsty. Worry not because Nottingham’s Castle rock Brewery has made royal wedding inspired beer called “Kiss Me Kate” real ale. The brewery claims it is a great British beer full of British hops and barley. I wonder if you get a free royal barf bag with every six pack purchased?
It only gets better. Once the royal wedding fans have processed the beer and pizza they’ll need to make a trip to the bathroom. Now such people don’t have to worry about being away from an image of the royal couple for even a second. Dedicated royal watchers can now purchase a toilet seat with the picture of Prince William and Kate Middleton on it. I hate to say it but for some reason this is one royal item I’ve been tempted to purchase. (I did resist mentioning something about a royal flush but it was difficult)
As with any high profile wedding many people who have absolutely nothing going on in their life will speculate on the wedding night. I can only imagine some couple getting frisky with the stipulation that the girl is to be called Kate and the man must be referred to as Prince William. Such couples are obviously a demographic worth serving as British manufacturer Crown Jewels condoms has issued collectors edition condoms. The box comes with a souvenir portrait of what the couple looked like on their wedding day.
I have to wonder about the state of our world when I hear about collector edition condoms with souvenir portraits of a royal couple. What’s next? Commemorative sports condoms with a picture of a woman and your favorite sports player on them? I’m sure movie star condoms would be a big seller and difficult to keep in stock. Washington DC politician condoms would be a big favorite especially with the politicians in Washington DC.
For people who can’t live without seeing an image of the royal couple on a daily basis there’s the Royal Wedding Refrigerator. This unique kitchen appliance has one of the two official engagement pictures taken of the royal couple on it. Since the refrigerator is 5’ 9” that means you’ll have a life size version of Prince William and Kate Middleton forever in your kitchen. If I visit someone who has one of these I hope I have a royal barf bag handy as it will be put to the test.
It’s not uncommon for regular people to live through the lives of the rich and famous. It seems like the royal wedding was something important to people who admire royalty and wanted to feel a part of such a special wedding. It was also an event that appealed to greedy entrepreneurs saw an opportunity to make money off gullible people who willingly buy tacky stuff. I guess the first rule of business really is to find a need and then fill it.
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