Students Suspended for Farting on School Bus. A real story

It is time for the first ever  Flaming Idiot Award.  This is an award given to individuals who have distinguished themselves with behavior that demonstrates an IQ with a decimal point in the front.  The type of individual who might have a family tree that doesn’t fork and has only one set of DNA.  As we all know these people are everywhere and especially in positions of power.

The first ever Flaming Idiot Award goes to (drum roll please) the school officials of Canal Winchester Middle School in Ohio. 

These people are honored with this award for putting on a colossal display of ignorance by suspending two middle school students for passing gas.  That’s right folks; these kids actually were punished by their school for farting on a school bus.  However, these school officials refused to acknowledge this activity as farting.  These brilliant members of our society chose instead to refer to this activity as making (are you ready for this?) an “obscene gesture.”  Huh?

Just so all of you know that passing gas is no longer farting in this school district.  You are now considered to be making an obscene gesture.  I must confess right here and now that after a night of Mexican food and beer I have been known to clear out entire buildings with my obscene gestures.  I was once on an elevator when an old guy who made a rather aromatic obscene gesture and was surprised the hotel didn’t call in a Hazmat team.

When I was in school it was required to laugh at farts.  Should you not laugh when someone farted you might have been considered a space alien.  It’s been over 40 years since I was in middle school but I will admit to farting on a school bus.  All it took was one cafeteria meal heavy with vegetables and the entire bus would erupt with aromatic obscene gestures.  Our school bus driver didn’t try and get us suspended.  He just supplied his own aromatic obscene gestures.  Sure we were all a little oxygen deprived when we left the school bus but nobody got suspended.

What was the administrator’s solution to the problem?  They feel two middle school boys should hold their gas on the hour-long bus ride home from school.  Huh?  What are they thinking?  Do they believe forcing a child to control flatulence will make them learn better and become responsible citizens when they grow up?

Picture a man on death row being interviewed.

“I would have never killed, robbed and stolen if I had only learned to control my flatulence.  Oh, why didn’t I try to hold in my gas?  Look at me now.  Let my miserable life be a lesson to all those who refuse to control their flatulence.” 

I actually think there is a movie with a very similar plot on cable.

I can’t begin to comprehend the thought process that had to have taken place in order for anyone to come up with this decision.  What’s next for the students at this school?  If you can be suspended for farting can you now be suspended for burping or cracking your knuckles?  What behavior will come next under the umbrella of an “obscene gesture?”

My heart goes out to the parents of these children.  With students in schools across the country being suspended for everything from drug possession to having illegal weapons, their children get a mark on their record because of the stupidity and ignorance of school administrators.

So the Flaming Idiot Award is now officially the possession of the school officials of Canal Winchester Middle School in Ohio.  I only wish there was a way to give them a 21 obscene gesture salute to go with it.

Here is a link to the story

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/boy-suspended-for-farting_n_861014

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