Pop Tart Gun Suspension. A Real Story

It is time for the ninth ever Flaming Idiot Award. This is an award given to those individuals who have distinguished themselves with behavior that demonstrates a lack of common sense, logic and a diminished ability to comprehend reality. As we all know, these people are everywhere and especially in positions of power.

Flaming Idiot Award IX goes to (Imagine hearing a drum roll) the teacher of Josh Welsh who became upset when Josh accidentally nibbled a strawberry Pop Tart into a shape his teacher felt was a gun. This teacher rises to the level of wondering if her IQ has a decimal point in front of it. (Imagine hearing massive clapping and cheering).

Below are excerpts from the story in bold. My valuable insights are in italics.

BALTIMORE - A 7-year-old Maryland boy has been suspended from school after biting his breakfast pastry into a shape that his teacher thought looked like a gun.

So what? Does this intellectually challenged teacher believe this young boy could use a Pop Tart in the shape of a gun to harm other students?

“Back off man I'm packing a Pop Tart nibbled into the shape of a gun.”
“I hope it's not strawberry.”
“It's worse.”
“How?”
“It's double fudge.”
“Oh, no, help, police.

Josh Welch, a second-grader at Park Elementary School in Baltimore, said he was trying to nibble his strawberry Pop Tart into a mountain.

"It was already a rectangle and I just kept on biting it and biting it and tore off the top and it kinda looked like a gun but it wasn't," Josh said. "All I was trying to do was turn it into a mountain but it didn't look like a mountain really and it turned out to be a gun kinda."

But when his teacher saw what he had done, the boy says she got "pretty mad" and he knew he was "in big trouble."

This lady teacher is a flaming idiot amongst flaming idiots. A young boy is eating a Pop Tart and accused of doing a terrible thing. How many coupons did this person have to save to get their teaching certificate? I wonder if their degree is from the Uzbekistan online university. It would make sense. I suggest she pursue a career more suited to her abilities, such as a test subject for a pharmaceutical firm.

“I just hit the kid next to me.”
“Stop it.”
“I just got the answers for the tests from your desk.”
“Don't do it again.”
“I just nibbled a Pop Tart and it looks like a gun.”
“What? We don't tolerate such behavior at Anne Arundel County schools. You're going to see the principal this minute. If you want to stay out of trouble just spend your time hitting other kids and stealing test answers.”
“Okay.”

Josh's dad was called by the school and informed that his son had been suspended for two days.
"I asked if was anyone was hurt, they said 'No'," B.J. Welch said. "I would almost call it insanity. I mean with all the potential issues that could be dealt with at school -- real threats, bullies, whatever the issue is. It's a pastry."

“Josh's dad gets a grade of “A” for calling it insanity. I'm torn between calling it either stupidity or ignorance. They both seem to apply. At the most, Josh should have been told to not do that by the teacher. That should have been the end of it. To give him a two-day suspension for such a ridiculous thing, makes the school's discipline look ridiculous. Is chewing food into the shape of a weapon in their school handbook? Can you get suspended for threatening flatulence? I would be surprised if this in their handbook.

The school sent home a letter with every student informing parents that: "A student used food to make an inappropriate gesture."
Josh, who suffers from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and enjoys art classes said that his actions were innocent, according to a report in the Daily Mail.

These flaming idiots actually sent a letter home to parents telling them a student used food to make an inappropriate gesture. If I were a parent getting this letter, I would've laughed so hard my stomach would've hurt. I can only hope the next inappropriate gesture made with food involves a specific digit.

This Pop-Tart gun story inspired a lawmaker in Texas.  

A story about a lawmaker who introduced a law to prevent punishment for students making gun-shaped snacks.

If one Texas Democrat has his way, no grade schoolers in his state will ever be punished for pretending their fingers are guns or fashioning their food to resemble firearms.
“Texas students shouldn’t lose instruction time for holding gun-shaped Pop-Tart snacks at school,” Rep. Ryan Guillen, D-Rio Grande City, told the Houston Chronicle. “This bill will fix this.”

Is this an epidemic? Are there grade schoolers around the country who are chewing their pasty snacks to look like a firearm? Does this rise to the level of a public official wanting to protect kids with laws? Too bad for Josh lives in Maryland. This law would only apply to firearm chewing grade schoolers in Texas.

Guillen said his proposed legislation was inspired by the case of Josh Welch, the Maryland 7-year-old who was suspended in 2013 after chewing his Pop-Tart into the shape of a gun. While Welch was given a lifetime membership, to the National Rifle Association, school officials said he exhibited bad behavior before his suspension.

I would love to know what the officials from Josh's school consider bad behavior. Chewing bubble gum and acting like its tobacco? I hope Josh enjoys his lifetime membership to the National Rifle Association. I'm wondering why Kellogg didn't get him some free Pop Tarts.  I'm sure in time Josh will progress from chewing Pop Tarts into guns and shooting the real thing. I have some suggestions for pictures he could put on a b bullseye for target practice.

It's a shame that a young boy had to have this experience at school. It's even worse that a school's administration would support such a stupid reason to suspend a kid. Maybe if schools want to stop bullying, maybe they should start with teachers and administrators.

The case went to court and a judge upheld the pop tart gun suspension.

Here is a link to the story.

https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2016/jun/17/pop-tart-gun-suspension-upheld-by-maryland-judge/