This is a real story. It's an actual court case. I have met some people I thought were a little out there. I've had conversations with individuals that made me wonder how their thoughts could be considered rational by any human mind. Whatever I've experienced in the past is nothing compared to a story I read describing a group trying to give human rights to chimps. This is a real group who believes in their mission. Some of the people in this group are highly educated. I wonder if they just watched one too many movies from the “Planet of the Apes” series. Have they emotionally bonded with the chimp in the old “Tarzan” movies. Were they big fans of the television series during the 1970s called “Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp?”
I believe something isn't right.
Below are excerpts of the story in bold. My valuable insights are in italics.
ALBANY, N.Y. (AP) — A chimpanzee is not entitled to the rights of a human and does not have to be freed by its owner, a New York appeals court ruled Thursday.
The
three-judge Appellate Division panel was unanimous in denying "legal
personhood" to Tommy, who lives alone in a cage in upstate
Fulton County.
A
trial level court had previously denied the Nonhuman Rights Project's
effort to have Tommy released. The group's lawyer, Steven Wise, told
the appeals court in October that the chimp's living conditions are
akin to a person in unlawful solitary confinement.
I can just imagine a judge speaking with is staff.
“What do we have on the docket today?”
“There is a case about spousal abuse. One about pollution concerns and another about malpractice suits. There is also another one to determine if a chimpanzee is entitled to the rights of a human.”
“Huh?”
“That's right; Tommy is the chimp and there's a group trying to give him legal personhood.”
“Are these people monkeying around?”
“I wonder if they work for bananas?”
“This case is pun intensive.”
“I agree.”
Wise
argued that animals with human qualities, such as chimps, deserve
basic rights, including freedom from imprisonment. He has also sought
the release of three other chimps in New York and said he plans
similar cases in other states.
Steven Wise is an actual person and a licensed practicing attorney. He is not living up to his last name. If I could speak to him I'd say “Stevey the not-so-Wiseman, what's up? What are you doing with this stuff? Trying to say chimps have rights like me? What? You want politicians to worry about getting the chimp vote now? (Pun Alert) Politicians would go ape. You want chimps to drive? You try and get them to pass the written test. I say if you get personhood status you need to be able to use the bathroom like persons I know. I say before you get personhood you need to have an email account and know how to order stuff online. I think personhood is determined by nature or an even higher power.
But
the mid-level appeals court said there is neither precedent nor legal
basis for treating animals as persons.
"So
far as legal theory is concerned, a person is any being whom the law
regards as capable of rights and duties," the judges wrote.
"Needless to say, unlike human beings, chimpanzees cannot bear
any legal duties, submit to societal responsibilities or be held
legally accountable for their actions."
That,
they ruled, makes it "inappropriate" to grant the rights of
a human to the animal.
At least the judges aren't crazy. It makes sense that Chimpanzees cannot bear legal duties. That means people like Stevey can't even sue a chimp. I don't think that would stop this guy. I bet if he won a judgment against a chimp he'd try and collect. Chimps can't be held legally accountable for their actions. This is a big deal. This means a chimp could trash Stevey's car, and all a judge could tell him is “Aye, it's a chimp, what ya want me to do? Go after the owner.”
The
Nonhuman Rights Project said it will appeal to the state's top court,
citing other New York appeals court rulings it says are at odds with
Thursday's decision.
"It
is time for the common law to recognize that these facts are
sufficient to establish personhood for the purpose of a writ of
habeas corpus," the organization said, referring to
characteristics of chimps it says are "similar to those
possessed by human beings."
The Nonhuman Rights Project is a real organization. I think it consists of emotionally needy people looking for a way to give their life purpose. I wonder if you hear the theme from “Twilight Zone” playing in the background when talking with them. Jane Goodall is on the board of directors. Maybe Jane has spent just a little too much time alone in the jungle with the chimps. Stevey says, “establishing personhood for the purpose of a writ of habeaus corpus.” I say before a chimp gets personhood, they should be able to explain what habeaus corpus means. I'm not an attorney, but I understand it requires a prisoner be taken before a court and the individuals holding the prisoner give proof they have the legal authority to hold the prisoner. If there is an attorney chimp out there with a better explanation, please let me know.
Tommy's
owner, Patrick Lavery, said Thursday he was pleased and expected the
ruling.
"I
just couldn't picture any court granting habeas corpus for an
animal," he said. "If it works for one animal, it works for
all animals. It would open a can of worms."
Can you imagine animals at zoos and wild animal parks filing a writ of habeas corpus? I'd love to be in court that day.
“Grrrraaaaaaaw”
“Your honor my client wants to know by what right he's being held captive in the animal park.”
“Counselor, your client is a 500 pound Bengal tiger. Should he be set free, he would be a danger to society.”
“If they treat him with love and respect they'll have nothing to worry about.”
“Then, we'll release him into your home.”
“I don't like that idea.”
“You can love him and respect him and you'll have nothing to worry about.”
“Wait a minute, no, he's a full grown tiger.”
“Not now, because of your work, he's a person protesting his incarceration at a zoo.”
“You can't let a full-grown male tiger in my house.”
“I suggest you sue the tiger. Maybe he needs to learn the downside of our judicial system.”
“Nooooooooooooo.”
Tommy,
believed to be about 40 years old, is a former entertainment chimp
who was placed with Lavery about 10 years ago. Lavery said Tommy is
cared for under strict state and federal license rules and
inspections.
The
court noted there have been no claims that Tommy has been mistreated
or that any of those rules have been violated.
Lavery
said Tommy lives in a seven-room enclosure in Gloversville with lots
of toys and other "enrichment."
Maybe it's time for Stevey and the others at the
Nonhuman Rights Project to get a new hobby. There are actually a lot
of humans around the world who need help. Guess what? They won't
have to be granted personhood before you help them.Chimps Rights Story
UPDATE
A court in Argentina has given “non-human person” status to an orangutan. Huh? What exactly does that mean? Is a non-human person the same as a non-creature animal? Is it the same as non-avian bird? It all makes no sense. This is a genetically designed word to confuse the easily confused. Maybe this would pass as non-sense logic. (Ha, ha, ha)
Argentinian Non-human person story
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