The History of Valentine’s Day or How the Retail Industry has become Our Master

Valentine’s Day is an occasion where the romantic recognition of your loved one comes at a price.  I was once near a group of women when I asked why this was done.  Why should expressing my romantic feelings for the love of my life take the form of a once-a-year monetary requirement?  I then heard the word cheap so often I thought I was in a barn filled with peeping chicks.  These females also had some rather dire predictions for the future of my love life.

Has anyone stopped to think how Valentine’s Day got started?  The Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or “Valentinus” who were all martyred.  It seems the Roman Emperor Claudius II felt single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families.  He decided to outlaw marriage for young men.  One of the Saint Valentines thought this was a bit of an over reaction.  He defied Claudius and continued to perform marriage ceremonies in secret.  Claudius was upset when he discovered this and had Valentine put to death.

Doesn’t that story just make you want to run out and buy a box of chocolates?

Now there are those who believe Valentine’s Day actually was celebrated in February to “Christianize” the pagan celebration of Lupercalia.  During this festival priests would sacrifice a goat for fertility and a dog for purification.

This was obviously a time before PETA was around.  I guess if the priest thing didn’t work out these guys they could always make some money as a butcher. 

The sacrificed animal’s hides were then made into strips, dipped in sacrificial animal blood and taken to the streets.  They were then used to gently slap women and crop fields.  Woman supposedly welcomed this experience as it was believed to make them more fertile in the coming year.

I guess in Rome nothing said I love you more than being slapped with a bloody animal hide. Those crazy Romans and their parties.  They came up with the best ways to celebrate things.

Later in the day young women would put their names in an urn.  The city’s bachelors would then choose a name from the urn.  The man and the chosen woman would then be a couple for the year.  This was probably the precursor to Matchmaker.com.  I think this is still done on some college campuses.

At the end of the 5th century Pope Gelasius declared February 14th St. Valentine's Day.  This is because he was a Pope and could do that kind of stuff.

The written Valentine didn’t begin to appear until around the 1400s.  The oldest one is a poem written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans who was imprisoned in the Tower of London.  It was a poem to his wife. 

I wonder if it went something like this.

I think of you each and ever hour

It sure sucks being stuck up in this tower

Thoughts of having your beautiful body makes me cheer

Almost as much as having hot chicken wings and cold beer

Actually, I just made that up.  I’m sure Duke Chuck’s poem was real different.

Exchanging hand-made Valentine’s Day cards started in America in the early 1700s.  Esther A. Howland began selling the first mass-produced valentines in the 1840s.  Since then many industries have discovered how to guilt people into buying their products for the February 14^th celebration.

Today the Valentine's Day message provided by retailers is clear.

“Show her you love her by sending flowers, buying her a card, jewelry, chocolates, taking her out to dinner, a resort hotel, a trip around the world and a flight into space.  If you don’t then she won’t be able to brag to her friends about what you got her.  This will make her think you don’t love her and your love life suffer.”

What a great message.

I realize it’s nice to acknowledge your loved one on Valentine’s Day. 

After explaining to my wife about the history of Valentine’s Day I asked if she wanted to celebrate it in the pure Roman tradition.  I told her I could hit her with a bloody animal hide and pull her name out of an urn.  She agreed as long as I had no problem being martyred.

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