Sunday, August 4, 2013

Anthony Weiner World

Anthony Wiener has problems.  He’s a politician with a last name that is one of the best sources of puns and double entrendres in political history.  He’s also a pervert.  One the one hand, it’s great to have a politician with such a great last name, but on the other hand, his perversion is a bit distracting to anything good he may provide in politics.
His perversion of choice is sending sexually suggestive texts to women.  Anthony also seems to take joy in sending pictures of his male reproductive parts to women.  This is bad but when you know he’s also married with a child, it’s even worse.
          At one time Anthony Weiner was a powerful Democratic congressman from the state of New York.  He would pound his chest and point to Republicans and battle them every moment of every day.
          “Congressman Weiner, how do you respond to allegations from the Republican Party that the sky is blue?”
          “That’s what Republicans do; they exclude every other color that should have a chance to be the color of the sky.  I would like them to consider that other colors also have a right to be the color of the sky.  These exclusionary policies of the Republicans will not go unchallenged by us Democrats.”
          “According to scientists there is no way to control the color of the sky.”
          “That was probably said by Republican scientists and is proof of their desire to deprive other colors their rights to be the color of the sky.  They also deprive necessary benefits to lesser colors of the sky and are responsible for tornados.” 

          In the public world, Anthony Weiner was a congressman growing in power and prestige.  Then a big mistake was made by Congressman Weiner in 2011.  He sent a naughty picture of himself to his entire Twitter account.  The naughty picture was only meant only for one woman.  Initially Anthony Weiner denied it.
          “Me take a picture like that of myself?  I don’t know how to take pictures of myself.  I don’t know how to use a camera.  I don’t even know what my male reproductive parts look like.  Those pictures can’t be me.”
          The liberal media and especially talk shows rushed to his defense.  They would allow him to sit on their laps as they stroked his hair and pointed to the camera.  They'd then speak is accusatory tones.
          “Bad, bad, bad Republicans, how could you?  You just want to hurt our Anthony.  He said it wasn’t him and it wasn’t.  A fine congressman who stands up to you spiteful, bad Republicans.  Did you hear him?  He doesn’t even know what his male reproductive parts look like.  You're all such bad people.”
          Then the accusations turned out to be true.  Anthony Weiner, married man with a pregnant wife was sending naughty texts to women.  The liberal media didn’t believe it until Anthony Weiner held a press conference and admitted his guilt.
          “Heeeeey, everybody, sorry about the naughty text stuff.  Yeah, yeah, yeah I know, it was bad.  Let’s not get crazy here.  I’m a politician and you know what we’re like when it comes to women.  Don’t let this distract me from fighting for the rights of all colors to be the color of the sky.”
          This did not sit well with many women in the Democratic Party or many women around the world.  This confused Anthony Weiner.  He thought about Bill Clinton.  He thought what he did wasn’t so bad.  He didn’t actually touch any females and his behavior didn’t involve a cigar or a blue dress.  Anthony Weiner was still asked to resign from office.
          “Hey, why should I resign from office?  I never touched anybody and it didn’t involve a cigar or a blue dress.  What’s the problem?”
          “You’re not a popular president who took credit for Republican laws that created a good economy.  You can’t even take credit for the success of Republican ideas.”
          “I have fought hard to give other colors the right to be the color of the sky.”
          “Nobody is impressed.  Resign.”
          So Anthony Weiner resigned from Congress.  He wasn’t done with politics or sending naughty texts.  With this background, he felt he had what it took to run for mayor of New York City.

          During his campaign for NYC mayor, it was discovered that Anthony Weiner had continued to send naughty texts to women.  He sent his naughty texts after resigning from congress, after the birth of his child, after a magazine story claiming he had changed and while campaigning.  He never stopped. 
          Once this was discovered, Anthony again had another press conference.  This time his wife Huma Mahmood Abedin spoke and expressed her support for him.  She said the words “I forgive him; I believe in him, I love him.”  Her body language said “He’s disgusting, he’ll probably never touch me again and he had better get into some type of high public office where I can expand my political career or we’re done.”
          It appears that Huma Mahmood Abedin is dealing with this situation the same way as her boss and mentor, Hillary Clinton.  I’m sure Huma was upset when Hillary told her Anthony’s naughty texts were actually worse than a cigar and a blue dress.
          As of this writing, Anthony Weiner continues with his quest to become the mayor of New York City.  His wife is publicly standing by him. Should he be married to some women I know his life would be different.  Anthony would be dodging bullets as his wife chased him with a cigar in her mouth firing an automatic weapon and yelling "It's husband Anthony season." 
          I don’t know what I find most disturbing about this situation.  His perverse behavior as a high-ranking public official is disturbing.  The fact that he lied about it and continued with reckless abandon is upsetting.  His wife standing by him made sense the first time.  Doing it a second time made Huma Mahmood Abedin look like a Hillary clone.  Maybe the most disturbing thing could happen on election day.  If his name is still on the ballot, there will be people who actually vote for him. 
     

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