Monday, August 8, 2016

High School Boys Protest Girl's Right To Go Braless. This Is For Real.


There is an old saying that goes “Times change but people don't.” I would like to expand that further and say that “Times change but teenage boys don't. The world is a much different place than when I was in high school. This is a time of major changes to a young man's body. High school boys have an explosion of testosterone and other hormones that are difficult to put into words. It is a time of noticing girls. It's all part of nature's plan. I present to you, for your consideration, the events at a high school in Montana. It appears that an attractive high school girl did not like wearing a bra to school. The school told her she had to wear one or cover up. Believing in the right of every attractive high school girls to go without a bra, the high school boys went into action to confront this injustice. I could see myself as a high school boy giving my total support to such a cause. This is a true story.

Below are excerpts from the story in bold. My valuable insights are in italics.



Another day, another teen girl violates a school dress code… or did she? Kaitlyn Juvik, a senior at Helena High School in Montana says she was told by school administrators that she needed to put on a bra one day when she came to school without one.

As long as nothing is showing and you are covered up, girls should not have to wear a bra,” she told MTN News.

I can see a bunch of high school boys begin to cheer. I'm sure a designated a spokesperson expressed their horror at attractive high school girls being forced against their will to wear a bra. These guys may not understand advanced math, English or even social studies, but a pretty high school girl wanting to go braless is something that is crystal clear to them. They probably believe it should be the right of every attractive girl in high school to go without a bra, a shirt, clothing and more. They are this generation's hormonally driven political activists. An attractive girl's right to not wear any item of clothing is something they take very seriously.

I can see them speaking with a political candidate running for office.

Before we consider working for your campaign, we would like to know your position on making clothing optional for attractive high school girls.”
I think all students should be required to follow the high school's dress code.”
Rotten fruit, paper, and other items are hurled onto the stage at the political candidate amid loud chants of “Booooooooooo.”



According to the school principal Steve Thennis, someone at the school complained that Juvik’s outfit was making him or her uncomfortable, and Juvik was asked to cover up or put on a bra. Juvik posted an image of what she was wearing that day to Facebook— a loose-fitting black blouse that fell off one shoulder. Her body appears to be adequately covered. “You definitely can’t tell I’m not wearing a bra unless you’re looking VERY hard,” she wrote. Juvik also mentioned she wore stickers to make sure her nipples wouldn’t be as prominent in the shirt.

I'm sure the high school guys want to know what is principal Steve Thennis's problem. Her body was covered, she had stickers, what more do you want? I don't know who looked at her so hard that they could see she was not wearing a bra. I'm sure the high school boys were looking at her intently and did not feel the least bit uncomfortable. I'm sure they felt many things, but uncomfortable would not be one of them. Could the trouble have been started by another teenage girl who was jealous because she had to wear a bra and had no stickers?



As a result of the controversy, students at Helena High School protested on Friday and also made a Facebook page, “No Bra, No Problem,” which says it is “against discrimination in schools,” and “focus[es] on the right for girls to go braless.”
The fact that I was told it makes people uncomfortable offended me because it’s my body,” Juvik told MTN news. “It is my natural body and I’m not sure why that is uncomfortable to somebody.”

On Tuesday, the protests continued, with male students coming to school wearing bras over their shirts. A parent called the police saying that some of the boys were causing a “disruption” and making “inappropriate gestures.”

(Sarcasm alert) When high school boys see an injustice of this magnitude, they have to get involved. Forcing an attractive teenage girl to wear a bra to school when she doesn’t want to requires taking a stand. When I was a teenage boy, I was for the right of attractive girls to go braless, but my voice was ignored, much to my frustration. How dare anyone offend an attractive high school girl because she doesn't want to wear a bra. I'm sure these high school boys will defend her honor against an unjust and corrupt high school administration. They will show everyone that chivalry is not dead in this day and age. High school boys wearing bras over their shirts and making inappropriate gestures could be a good thing. It seems more like training for college than a police matter.



Bottom line: Breasts are a natural part of the female form, and if someone is uncomfortable with that, perhaps a remedial turn in health class might be in order? Women and young girls’ bodies are constantly being sexualized in their natural form, and often, the burden of making sure their bodies are “acceptably” covered up lies on the girl. It’s a dangerous road to go down. Should girls and women wear cardboard boxes everywhere so that their figures are obscured for the sake of people who might feel “uncomfortable” by a human body?

(Sarcasm Alert) Hear, hear my good friend. Breasts are a natural part of the female form and if an adult female wants to make money by showing hers or having pictures of them taken, who are we to judge? Women and young girls bodies are constantly being sexualized. This is something that has been happening since the beginning of the human race. Men and high school boys see this as a positive and support female participation in such things. I say down with anyone who is uncomfortable with an attractive female body. These women should only be forced to wear boxes if they're made of clear plastic. It should be their right to have stickers be optional.

Here is a link to the story.

Story About Braless Teenage Girl




Monday, August 1, 2016

Concern For Others Increases When Certain Brain Activity Is Reduced. Yeah, A Real Study.


It appears researchers have figured out a way to cure selfish people who lack empathy. (Sarcasm alert) Who needs a cure for cancer, AIDS, the flu or even male pattern baldness when you can cure selfish people? According to the results of two studies, it is possible to make people more altruistic. It simply requires decreasing the activity in certain areas of the brain. When this happens, it results in an increase in someone's generosity. This type of research could change the way big corporations and big government operate. I wonder how they decided to study such a thing?


Why do we always have to research what you want?”
Because I want to do research that furthers my career.”
Why can't we research what I want to research?”
Because your career is not my concern. Should you want to research something that furthers my career, I'll be interested.”
That does it; now I'm reducing specific types of your brain's activity.”
Ouch, hitting me in the head with a chair hurt.”
Now, how do you feel?”
I don't feel more empathetic, but I do feel a lot more scared of you. What do you want to research?”
How about reducing brain activity in certain areas of the brain to increase altruism.”
I will only agree if hitting me in the head with a chair is not part of the research.”
Okay, I was looking forward to it, but no more chair hitting.”
It's a deal.”

Below are excerpts from the story in bold. My valuable insights are in italics.

The researchers enrolled 20 participants and asked them to take part in two tasks while undergoing brain scans with functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI).
One task involved viewing a video of a hand being pricked by a pin, while the other task involved viewing photographs of faces showing a variety of different emotions - such as happy, sad and angry - and imitating them.


(Sarcasm alert) If you have 20 participants you know you're involved in groundbreaking research that could change the way our world works. Watching videos of a hand being pricked by a pin and imitating the expressions of people in pictures will just reveal so many unknown aspects of life. I wonder about the 20 participants participated in this study. I bet they were probably college kids desperate for beer money.


Dude, where are we going to get money for beer tonight?”
Hey, lets go to the research place on campus. They'll pay us money to watch a hand being pricked with a pin as they scan our brains.”
Really?”
Yeah, and then they show you pictures, and you have to imitate the people's expression in the picture.”
Whoa, seems like them researchers are able to get all the beer they want.”
Let's see if they have any studies that involve drinking beer.”
Yeah, man that would be cool. ”
The researchers found that the amygdala, somatosensory cortex and the anterior insula areas of the brain were involved with imitating others and experiencing pain and emotion, while two other areas in the prefrontal cortex - the dorsolateral and dorsomedial regions - played a key role in behavior and impulse control.


This is another situation where I ask myself “Now that we know this, what do we do?” So we know how the brains of 20 people reacted to videos of hands being pricked and their ability to imitate faces they see in pictures. This information is about as useful as a pogo stick in quicksand. (Ba da Boom) It's about as useful as a grave robber in a crematorium. (Ba da Bing) It makes about as much sense as a one-legged cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen lake. (Ba da Zing).


Next, the participants took part in a task called the "dictator game," in which they were given $10 each round for 24 rounds and asked whether they wanted to keep their money or share it with a stranger, for whom information on age and income was provided. On comparing the brain scans of participants with the amount of money they shared in the dictator game, the team found that individuals who demonstrated the greatest activity in the prefrontal cortex parted with the least money, giving away an average of $1-3 in each round.


Hey, seems like the participants giving away $1 to $3 out of their $10 makes them almost as bad as the people who gave nothing. If you have information on a person's age and income, they're really not that much of a stranger. I've known many people for years, who I considered friends, and I have no idea of their age or income. I'm not surprised everyone was so cheap. What do you expect from individuals who spend their time watching hands being pricked with pins and imitating people's expressions in pictures? Do you really expect people like that to do something other than hold onto their $10 so they can buy beer?”


Based on their results, the researchers suggest we may be hard-wired for altruism. What is more, they believe the results indicate that it may be possible to make people less selfish and more generous toward others.
"This is potentially groundbreaking," says Christov-Moore. Senior author Marco Iacoboni, a psychiatry professor at UCLA, adds:
"The study is important proof of principle that with a non-invasive procedure you can make people behave in a more prosocial way."


Are you serious? It seems these researchers need to spend some time reading “1984” and stop spending so much time reading “Mein Kampf.” They may be taking the dictator game a little too far. I like the part about the “non-invasive procedure that can make people behave in a more prosocial way.” What does all this mean? What do these people consider “prosocial?” Were these researchers raised in North Korea or do they just admire their government's ability to control a population? (Sarcasm alert) They know all this from 20 people watching a video and looking at pictures?. Maybe the most prosocial thing these researchers can do is to conduct some real research. They also could move to North Korea where this type of a study would make them heroes. Maybe even do some prosocial research on Dennis Rodman while they're at it. (If you don't know what I'm referring to just Google Dennis Rodman and North Korea.)

Press Release About Study

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Monday, July 25, 2016

Man Uses Prosthetic Goat Limbs To Live As Goat In Swiss Alps. Yes, it is a real story.


Many people have done things in the name of science. Some have injected themselves with vaccines to test the results. Others have spent time in bug infested areas of the tropics or on frozen patches of ice to conduct their studies. These are researchers who have done things that helped the world to progress and better understand our environment. Then there's Thomas Thwaites. Here is a man who spent time living as a goat to learn about them. It is really true. Someone needs to tell Mr. Thwaites that there really isn't a lot of things goats can provide us besides milk, meat and lawn care. I think we can learn all we need to know about goats by observing them. I'll live like an animal to observe them when we discover an animal species that have flush toilets, DVD players, mixed drinks and can provide a temperature controlled environment. Until then, I'll let people like Mr. Thwaites have the living as a wild creature experience.


Below are excerpts from the story in bold. My valuable insights are in italics.


Meet the man who gave up being human to live like a GOAT
This is the man so intrigued by goats he gave it all up to live with them in the mountains. Thomas Thwaites spent three days as part of a herd in the Swiss Alps while investigating goat behavior. He used special prosthetic limbs made to enable him to move around on all fours easily. And the designer even considered having a fake stomach fitted to let him eat grass, just like his four-legged friends.


This is just too rich for sarcasm to give an alert. Hey, I wonder if during the time he spent in the Swiss Alps he referred to himself as “Billy G. Gruff?” Did he get frustrated at times and say “That really gets my goat, oh, sorry, I really wasn't talking about you. I don't actually own any goats; I just like to live like them in the Swiss Alps. My bad.” Now the use of the special prosthetic limbs to let him move around on all fours is really interesting. I can only imagine how well he'd use those limbs if it were mating season and the alpha goat took a liking to him. Did the goats think he was a “baaaaaaad” boy? He even considered having a fake stomach? This guy is a piece of work.


Mr. Thwaites cloven-hooved sojourn was aimed at "taking a break from being human.  He told Mashable: "My goal was to take a holiday from the pain and worry of being a self-conscious being, able to regret the past and worry about the future."
Mr. Thwaites is a British conceptual designer interested in how humans will use technology to fulfill their desires


Well, nothing says you are not self-conscious more than wearing prosthetic goat limbs and living with a herd of goats in the Swiss Alps. We all know that goats are such deep thinkers. They're probably all into the Zen of not regretting the past and worrying about the future. I think Thwaites needs more than a break from being able to regret. He may need to spend some time with a therapist determining which psychological treatment would be the best course of action. He may only want to work with a therapist who is also a trained goat herder. I'm sure that can be arranged.


But being a goat wasn't a completely care-free existence.
He told Motherboard: "I was able to keep up for maybe a kilometre or so on this migration down the side of this kind of rocky mountain, and then they just left me in the dust.
"So I spent the rest of the day trying to catch up to them, and eventually I found them again, and it was quite nice, in the actual soft grassy pasture bit


I can only imagine if the goats could talk what they were saying to one another.
What is that freaky guy with the fake goat limbs doing? He should be off somewhere training a sheep dog, drinking beer and chasing women. If I were a human, the last thing I'd do is hang around with goats. Let's face it; we are a bit on the boring side. We don't have sports, cable and can't eat steak. Actually, humans eat us, which really makes you wonder why he's out here.”
You're right, just keep moving. That idiot with those stupid goat limbs can't keep up with us. He may not realize we're laughing at him. He does look more than a bit ridiculous.”
I don't want to be around when he has to relieve himself. There are some things even us goats don't want to watch.”
I agree with you. Let's get as far away from him as possible.”


"But actually heading down the mountain was petrifying. Because if I fell I didn’t have any hands to stop me from hitting a rock."
Thwaites has written a book about his experiences, called ‘GoatMan; How I Took a Holiday from Being Human’.


I think that could be the next big thing for Apple. Computerized prosthetic goat limbs for people who want to experience living among goats on the Swiss Alps. I could see their spokesperson say “Now when you want to live as a goat in the Swiss Alps; you no longer have to worry about heading down the mountain. With our new Apple iGoat limbs, you can run and frolic just like a real goat in the meadows.”
I like the part about him writing a book about his experiences. Here's a conversation I could see taking place at a book store.
What kind of book would you like? Could I suggest the latest James Patterson, John Green or Veronica Roth?”
Why no, I want to read about the man who wore prosthetic goat limbs and lived in the Swiss Alps. I want to know about the Zen goat experience. I need to learn how to not regret the past or worry about the future like Swiss Alps goats.”
You have such high literary standards.”

Goat Man Story

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Monday, July 18, 2016

Anxiety Leads You To Make Bad Decisions. It's been Proven With Rats. This is a Real Study

I think many of us know we don't make the best decisions under stress. I would go as far as to say the number of us who know making decisions under stress is not a good idea, are a huge majority. I would also go as far as to say the idea of not making decisions under stress is something people have known for generations. That's not good enough for researchers. They had to do a study about how anxiety may lead to bad decision-making. They treat this as if it's an unknown revelation that could change the way mankind makes decisions. Someone needs to take these researchers aside, put their arm around them, get their attention and say “What are you doing? Studying how anxiety leads to bad decision-making is like studying why politicians tell lies, it's a given. Do you understand?”


Below are excerpts from the story in bold. My valuable insights are in italics.


Lead author Bita Moghaddam, of the Department of Neuroscience at the University of Pittsburgh in Pennsylvania, and colleagues publish their findings in The Journal of Neuroscience...Moghaddam and her team note that previous research investigating the effects of anxiety on the brain has primarily focused on the emotional response, such as how the brain cells of animal models respond to threatening situations.


You have to do research on this? I'll tell you how the brain responds to threatening situations, it says;“Get out of there” or “Now is as good a time as any to pull the trigger.” It could also say, “Drink more beer and focus on the sports you're watching, and maybe she'll quit complaining about you drinking beer and watching sports.”


They don't need to pay money to laboratory geeks who spend too much time surfing the web and playing video games. Just come to me. I'd let them know all about it at a much lower cost.
Anxiety interferes with choice-making cells in the prefrontal cortex
To reach their findings, the researchers analyzed the brain cells, or neurons, in the prefrontal cortex (PFC) of two groups of rats as they completed a decision-making task, in which they had to make a decision about which choice was most logical for receiving a reward.


(Sarcasm alert) Well, this makes perfect sense. If you want to learn about people making decisions while feeling anxiety, you've got to stress out a bunch of rats. We all know rats are extreme examples of making logical choices for rewards. I'm sure the UN Security Council has a representative rat they use for advice on matters affecting the entire world.
So, Mr. Rat, how would you keep people from cutting off the heads of other people? I know it's not as serious as using your logic to get a reward, but it is a serious issue for we people.”
Squeak, Squeak, sniff, sniff, Squeak.”
I see. I never thought of offering everyone a cheese party and the chance to watch the movie “Ratatouille”, but I think the idea has merit.”
Squeak, Squeak, Squeak.”
Yes, you can come and bring a few hundred of your friends. After all, it was your idea.”
One group of rats received a low-dose anxiety-inducing drug prior to the task, while the other group received a placebo injection.
While the anxious rats did complete the decision-making task - as would humans with anxiety - the team found that the rodents made significantly more mistakes than the non-anxious rats when the decision-making process involved ignoring distracting information to reach a logical choice.


I like this “low-dose anxiety-inducing drug.” Could this be something like caffeine? So you had two sets of rats. One set is injected with java, and the other set is injected with something that is nothing. I bet the rats injected with the caffeine didn't even get a doughnut to go with it. I like how the caffeinated rats completed decision-making tasks “as would humans with anxiety.” Huh? Were the rats tasked with driving home during a congested evening commute? Did they have to stand behind someone in a line at a store who has 4,321 items in the ten items or less lane? Do these researchers believe many people spend their days hitting a certain colored lever to get cheese? (Sarcasm alert) What will they research next? I know, how about a study concerning wives who don't like their husbands spending all day drinking beer and watching sports. I think being injected with beer would be a good change for these rats.
...gaining a better understanding of how anxiety affects decision-making could eventually lead to improved treatments for anxiety disorders and other psychiatric illnesses.


I guess injecting rats with anxiety solutions in the name of science is a good thing. Who is going to do a study about people who make their living using rats caffeinated rats for their work? Maybe these scientists are doing this research to find a cure for their own “anxiety disorders and other psychiatric illnesses.”
Overall, the team believes the findings indicate that anxiety may interfere with our ability to make good decisions by interfering with a specific set of neurons in the PFC


Wow, being paid to stress out innocent rats just leads to so many interesting things. Now, if they could teach the rats to get a job, that would be worthwhile research. The only downside is they may use these researchers for their experiments. At the very least, they'd force the researchers to watch the movies “Willard” and “Ben” over and over again.

Here is a link to the story.

Study Press Release



Monday, July 11, 2016

Human Poop Could Fuel A NASA Rocket. This Is For Real. It's An Actual Story


Before you flush that toilet, it's important to understand you could be disposing of a valuable source of rocket fuel. I am not making this up. It is an actual story. I know money is tight in this economy, but scientists have spent time developing a method to turn human waste into rocket fuel. (Sarcasm alert) I think this will give an entirely new meaning to the song “Rockman.” Could this lead to loyal American citizens around the country doing their part for NASA with participation in a program called “Crap For NASA?” Would Elton John hold a concert that charged a donation of poop for NASA before people could get inside?


Below are excerpts from the story in bold. My valuable insights are in italics.





During a spaceflight, any human waste generated by astronauts is stored in containers and loaded into capsules that burn up as they pass through the Earth's atmosphere. But in a new study - published in the journal Advances in Space Research - researchers from the University of Florida say they have found a way to put this waste to use; they can convert it into a biogas that fuels rockets.


Can you imagine the conversations in this University's lounge?
I left my position with the National Institutes of Health to come here and work on a special project for NASA.”
Are you studying how spending extended periods of time in space affects the human body?”
Don't be silly. I'm not doing anything trivial like that kind of research.”
Then what are you working on?”
I'm figuring out a way to turn human waste into rocket fuel.”
Oh.”





For short spaceflights, the unloading and burning up of human waste is not too much of a problem. But it is when it comes to long-term missions, such as NASA's plan to set up an inhabitable unit on the moon for 5 years from 2019.
Of course, the human waste generated during that time cannot be left on the moon, but bringing it back to Earth would significantly increase the weight of the shuttle. NASA approached University of Florida researchers Abhishek Dhoble and Pratap


Can't leave human waste on the moon? (Sarcasm alert) I guess we must take into consideration the fact that moon beings might give in to the temptation to put a bunch of human waste in a paper bag right outside an American space ship and light it on fire. I guess leaving poop outside would be a problem in a place where there is no gravity. Astronauts could just be walking around doing astronaut stuff when a pile of flying poop goes splat against their space suit. I guess floating poop in an environment with no gravity would also be a real safety concern.




Dhoble and Pullammanappallil set out to see how much methane they could generate from such waste. Space shuttles are usually powered by liquid hydrogen and liquid oxygen, but in recent years, scientists have looked to methane as a source of rocket fuel.

Okay, I have a question. Would the amount of methane produced in human waste be determined by what was consumed by the human? I know from personal experience that after a night of drinking beer and having excessive amounts of Mexican food, I can produce enough methane to power a rocket to the next galaxy. Does this mean that astronauts will have to have a diet rich in methane-producing food? I always thought being an astronaut would really be a great experience. If I were ever on a space mission fellow astronauts would soon realize they could depend on me to eat all the gas producing food and drink all the beer necessary to bring our spaceship back to Earth. I think NASA needs to put a man with my natural skills and abilities in space.





The team developed an anaerobic digester process. This process destroys pathogens in human waste before breaking down organic matter and producing a combination of methane and carbon dioxide. Using this process, the team found they could produce 290 liters of methane for each crew member every day over 1 week. Enough methane can be produced to come back from the moon.


Who says being an astronaut is a young man's game? Older guys like me are virtual rocket fuel machines. We may not be able to do the scientific stuff like the other astronauts. Maybe we'll need our naps and to spend some time in the morning with coffee complaining about our aches and pains, but we'd be important. I say we could let the young guys do all the scientific, astronaut type stuff and leave providing the rocket fuel to us.





What is more, the newly created technique may also be useful here on Earth. The researchers say the fuel it produces could be used to generate electricity and heating. It could be used on campus or around town, or anywhere, to convert waste into fuel.


This is could change the way we look at the obesity epidemic in the United States. I think this is a good way to end American's dependence on foreign governments for fuel. Our country leads the rest of the world by quite a bit when it comes to having obese people. No other country even comes close. This could make the obese people in the United States heroes. If all the obese people in America got together to provide waste to turn into fuel, we could probably produce so much, we would be able to export it to countries populated by skinny people. We'd be the human waste producing leaders of the world. When you factor in our politicians, we'd probably have enough fuel left over to sell to visitors from other planets.

Here is a link to the story

Human Waste Into RocketFuel Story





Monday, July 4, 2016

Unique July 4th Celebrations. These Are For Real


We all know what how most of us expect to celebrate July 4th. There will be cookouts, little league games, town festivals, parades and most of all, fireworks. As with every other aspect of life, we have people who go rogue on July 4th and ignore tradition. They decide to celebrate it their way. I suppose all traditions have to start somewhere. Here are some unique July 4th celebrations I think are worth consideration.


Below are excerpts of the story in bold. My valuable insights are in italics.


Computer Trap Shoot
For about a decade now, a group of friends in south central Kentucky gather old, clunky computer items all year long, then take them deep into the wilderness of central Kentucky each Independence Day. The components are launched into the air and used for target practice. That’s a great way to get ride of those massive old computer towers.


I am probably one of the millions of people who experience frustration with computers. I like this July 4th celebration. I'm sure there are certain things you can say as you pull the trigger and watch a computer part break into pieces.


Eat this gigabyte you cyber jerk.” BLAM.
Hey, this is for crashing when I was ordering sports tickets.” BOOM.
What good does your artificial intelligence do you now fool.” BANG
This is for working perfectly when my wife video chatted me on a fishing trip because she discovered my man cave.” BLAM, BOOM, BANG


The Mimes Festival
Every year, the San Francisco Mime Troupe opens their performing season on July 4th with a free show. Now these aren’t the mimes with the painted faces you’re thinking they are. They are actors performing shows without speaking.
The experimental theater group was founded in 1959, and has performed in San Francisco city parks since winning an obscenity case in 1963. The San Francisco Mime Troupe does not perform silently or paint their faces white, but their productions are movement-based. “


Okay, it didn't make sense until I realized it was San Francisco. A mime festival by a Mime Troupe that does not paint their faces white or perform silently. I imagine this is a San Francisco style mime. I'm sure the thinking with this is that just because a person doesn't put white paint on their face and perform silently, they can still be considered a mime. Is this because a person identifies as a mime? Maybe it's because a person is a mime trapped in a non-mime's body? The last thing they want to do is discriminate against such a person.
Parade Of Boats
Murrells Inlet in South Carolina hosts a parade of boats on the 4th of July each and every year since 1984. Boats line up to be decorated, spectated, and appreciated. Something completely different than the normal parade.


Now this sounds like fun. I wonder if it includes huge yachts. Wouldn't it be fun to paint phrases on such a boat? I'd try and put something creative like “Secret Hideout For Avengers.” “My Other Yacht Is A Row Boat.” “Free Passage to Nowhere For All US Politicians.” “I Became A Billionaire And All I Got Was This Lousy Yacht.”
National Tom Sawyer Days
To celebrate the life of this fictional character, and the true America that he represents, there are plenty of themed events in Hannibal, Missouri on the 4th of July. There are plenty of games to play throughout the weekend: These events include a frog-jumping contest and a contest to celebrate the above-mentioned fence painting.”


This seems like it would be a good time. I think it would be fun to watch a frog-jumping contest or do some fence painting. I wonder if they have a “Fake your Death” contest? That would be different. We could then put people in a cave and have them chased by someone called “Injun Joe.” There could also be a treasure hunting contest. I'm sure Muff Potter could also be worked into it some way.
Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Contest
It can be said that hot dogs are a traditional food across the nation on the Fourth of July, but in Coney Island, the Fourth of July means Nathan's Famous Fourth of July International Hot Dog Eating Contest. Last year, reigning champion Joey Chestnut of San Jose, California bested six-time winner Takeru Kobayashi of Nagano, Japan in a sudden-death round after each had ingested 59 hotdogs in the regulation ten-minute period. Both men will compete this Saturday for the 94th annual contest in Coney Island.


Is there any better way to celebrate our country's independence than combining gluttony and unhealthy food for sport? On many levels, I guess it's the American way. The only problem is that it is an international contest. Nothing is more embarrassing than having a person from Japan out eat Americans on our country’s independence day. We are a country with one of the highest obesity levels on the planet, and we have people who get beaten in a hot dog eating contest? I wonder how people in Japan would feel about an American going to their country and regularly winning a sushi eating contest?


However you decide to celebrate July 4th, I hope you, your friends and family all have a wonderful time. Thanks from “It's a Glorious Day.”


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Monday, June 27, 2016

Just Smelling Alcohol Can Influence Your Behavior. Yep, A Real Study.


We all know that drinking too much and driving is dangerous and against the law. It's also bad to drink too much in any situation. People have been known to drink excessive amounts of alcohol and engage in embarrassing and stupid behavior like discussing politics. According to researchers, a person does not have to drink alcohol to do stupid things. A study conducted by Edge Hill University in the UK claims that just the sight or smell of alcohol can cause a person to struggle with controlling their behavior. Really? Does this mean if a person is out of control, they can blame just walking into a bar or liquor store? They saw and smelled alcohol and lost control. Who are these researchers?


Below are excerpts of the story in bold. My valuable insights are in italics.

Now, research carried out by a team from Edge Hill University in the UK suggests that even the smell of alcohol may make it harder for people to control their behavior, suggesting that it could attract people to consume. Previous research has shown that behaviors related to alcohol consumption vary according to the environment. An "alcohol-salient environment" would be one where the idea of alcohol is pervasive, through visual and other cues.


I'm stunned there actually had to be a study to prove this idea. It's like someone did research on why people smell cookies baking and then want a cookie. I suppose people who are obese could live in a “baked goods-salient environment.” I know restaurants try to provide a “food-salient environment.” Cosmetic companies try to provide a “perfume-salient” environment. (Sarcasm alert) I've eaten certain vegetables and provided a salient environment that has caused people to change their behavior. They leave the room coughing, waving their hand in front of their nose and return to bombard me with air freshener spray.


In the current study, the researchers set out to explore how visual and olfactory cues relating to alcohol would impact people's inhibitory control, in other words, their ability to control their attention to alcohol. Participants in the computer-based study wore a scented face mask and carried out a task on screen. Some people had a mask laced with alcohol, while others had one laced with a non-alcoholic citrus solution. Subjects then had to press a button when they saw either the letter K or the image of a bottle of beer on the screen.


Are they serious? A bunch of people was brought in and told to wear masks that either smelled like alcohol or citrus. These study participant then had to press a button after seeing a letter or a bottle of booze? This makes about as much sense as nailing jello to a tree. Why have the letter “K”? Why not the letter “A” for alcohol or the letter “B” for booze? How about they have people with masks laced rum and see if they respond to the “R” letter? Why not have them press the letter “D” when they feel dumb for spending their time wearing a scented mask and pressing buttons?


Scent of alcohol leads to more 'false alarms'
If a participant pressed the button incorrectly, this was registered as a "false alarm." A false alarm suggested that the participant had become less able to control their behavior when asked to. The participants who registered the false alarms were more likely to be wearing the masks bearing the scent of alcohol. The team believes that the sight and sound of alcohol might stimulate cognitive responses that increase the likelihood of consumption.


People who were wearing masks that smelled like alcohol more often pressed a button incorrectly. This makes researchers believe these people have an increased likelihood of drinking alcohol? (Sarcasm alert) Could the study participants have an increased likelihood of being bored? Maybe the study participants just saw all the alcohol the researchers were drinking, and that distracted them. That would explain a lot of things when it comes to this study. What was the sights and sounds of stupid that stimulated the cognitive responses and increased the likelihood of researchers doing something that appears to be ridiculous? Maybe this was just an opportunity for researchers to buy a lot of alcohol and have Edge Hill University pay for it.


Why are their several cases of rum, vodka, and beer in the research laboratory?”
That was left over from or smelling alcohol study.”
You only had twenty participants.”
Just wanted to make sure we didn't run out. We plan to put what is left over to good use.”
How?”
We're going to study the effects of alcohol on researchers conducting research while consuming alcohol. I have a feeling this could take years and cost a lot of money.”
If it's done in the name of science, it's worth it.”
I agree.”
Coauthor Prof. Derek Heim adds that this kind of study could provide new insight into addiction and substance abuse. He emphasizes that to validate the results, it would be necessary to observe them outside the laboratory, in a real-world setting.


Let me provide some translation here. Researchers believe they must go to bars and observe people drinking alcohol, while drinking alcohol, in an effort to get new insights into addiction and substance abuse. Then maybe the researchers will go to bakeries and eat baked goods and observe people eating pastries in an effort to end obesity. Who knew there could be so many perks to being a researcher? I plan to go to Mexican restaurants and observe people eating Mexican food, while eating Mexican food, in an effort to end poverty in Mexico. Why should researchers have all the fun when it comes to saving the world?

Smell Of Alcohol Study


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Monday, June 20, 2016

Chocolate Makes You Smarter. A Real Study. Not Making this Up


I've seen a lot of things in my time. The things in a person's diet that would kill us twenty years ago is now considered healthy. Do some research on coffee study findings since the 1960s and you'll know what I mean. Coffee was going to kill you, then it was just the caffeine that was going to kill you, then decaffeinated coffee was going to kill you, now coffee is good and fights off diseases. Does anybody but me realize, it's the same coffee? As if chocolate wasn't popular enough, researchers now say it can make you smarter. Really? I know some people who regularly consume large quantities of chocolate and are as dumb as a box of rocks. Maybe it only works for people who eat chocolate and drink coffee? Now there's one study that I would be a willing participant.


Below are excerpts from the story in bold. My valuable insights are in italics.


People who eat chocolate at least once a week see their memory and abstract thinking improve, researchers say. It's good for your heart, reduces the risk of strokes and even helps protect your skin from the sun. Now, another apparent benefit has been added to the list of chocolate's nutritional qualities: it makes you smarter.


Who knew that an easy way to get smarter existed by just eating chocolate? (Sarcasm alert) You may be obese, have diabetes and a variety of other health problems, but due to your dedicated consumption of chocolate, at least you're smart. Maybe we should require all elected members of the U.S. government to eat a certain amount of chocolate every day. By the way things are happening in our country right now, I'd say our elected officials are suffering from serious chocolate consumption deficiencies.


A study, published recently in the journal, Appetite, indicated that people who eat chocolate at least once a week saw their memory and abstract thinking improve.
It's significant – it touches a number of cognitive domains,” psychologist Merrill Elias, one of the leaders of the study, told the Washington Post.
Mr Elias began studying the cognitive abilities of more than 1,000 people in the state of New York in the 1970s, initially looking at the relationship between people's blood pressure and brain performance.

(Sarcasm alert) Well, who knew that studying a thousand people from New York starting in the 1970s could lead to the discovery that chocolate makes everybody in the world smarter? This is especially impressive since this discovery happened when studying the relationship between blood pressure and brain performance. Did obese people show up for the study, and answer complex questions while their blood pressure was being taken only to provide the wrong answers? Was the blood pressure then taken as the obese people ate chocolate? They probably still had high blood pressure but could suddenly explain the Pythagorean theorem in detail. Some may have still wondered if there was a chocolate bar by that name, but I'm sure the researchers won't mention that aspect of the study.


About 15 years ago, he decided to ask participants of the Maine-Syracuse Longitudinal Study (MSLS) what they were eating, adding a new set of questions about dietary habits. Leading the analysis of the study, which was held between 2001 and 2006, was Georgina Crichton, a nutrition researcher at the University of South Australia. Ms Crichton recognised the study presented a unique opportunity to examine the effects of chocolate on the brain, using a large sample size of just under 1,000.


Shouldn't this researcher from Australia be conducting a study to see if vegemite makes you smarter? What was the new set of questions? Are you stupid and do you eat chocolate? Do you feel more or less stupid after eating chocolate? Did people stop calling you an idiot after you started eating more chocolate? Are you stupid enough to participate in this study just so that you can eat chocolate?


Examining the mean scores on cognitive tests of participants who ate chocolate less than once a week and those who ate it at least once a week, the researchers found eating chocolate was strongly linked to superior brain function. The benefits, Ms Crichton told the Washington Post, would mean you would be better at daily tasks "such as remembering a phone number, or your shopping list, or being able to do two things at once, like talking and driving at the same time".

Remembering a phone number, or the things on a shopping list equals superior brain function? Does this researcher have a decimal point in front of his IQ? I'd hate to be the one to tell him, but I've known people who could talk and drive at the same time. These are also the same people who struggle to tie their shoes unassisted. (Sarcasm alert) You'd be surprised how many of them get voted into public office. I think researcher Mr. Crichton needs to work quite a bit more chocolate into his diet before he does another study.

Here is a link to the story.

Chocolate Make You Smarter Study




Monday, June 13, 2016

Chinese Government Says It Will Determine Who Can Legally Reincarnate. Yeah, It's A Real Story.

China has been a communist country for decades. They control many aspects of a Chinese citizen's life. This includes where they can relocate, the number of children they can have and more. I'm sure having such an immense amount of power over the lives of their citizens has made the Chinese government officials the envy of many politicians in the United States. It's obvious once you believe you can control a citizen's life, you believe you can control it whether they're living or dead. In China, the government has decided who can be reincarnated. This is true. I find it confusing. I'm sure there are elected officials in the United States government who see this and think it's a great idea. This could lead to a reincarnation tax, reincarnation legislation that must be discussed and having an election or reelection campaign based on being pro or anti-reincarnation. After reading this, the U.S. congressmen might form a reincarnation task force to study the issue.


Below are excerpts of the story are in bold. My valuable insights are in italics.

China is laying down the law on reincarnation, as Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama — Tibet’s enormously influential spiritual leader — enters his twilight years with no successor in sight. Although the ruling Communist Party is an officially atheist organization – officials are barred from practicing religion – it is perennially uncomfortable with forces outside of its control, and has for years demanded the power to regulate the supernatural affairs of Tibetan Buddhist figures, determining who can and cannot be reincarnated.


How would Chinese officials know if someone has actually been reincarnated?


Hey you, yeah you, get over here. I want to talk to you.
What's the problem officer?”
You look like you were reincarnated. When I saw you, I thought reincarnated. I bet you're that Dalai Lama guy all reincarnated. You are, aren't you? Admit it.
Me? I just got done having some tea and dim sum. If I were reincarnated, I'd tell you. I don't even know who this Dalai Lama guy is, and I suppose we both know what those reincarnated people are like.”
Where are you going?”
I'm just on my way to celebrate Magha Puja Day.”
Isn't that a Buddhist holiday?”
No, no, it's not really, okay maybe a little bit, but you know, it's celebrated by a lot of people who are not reincarnated.”
You go on, but if I find out you've been reincarnated, I'm taking you down to the station.”
You look a little reincarnated yourself officer. Is that a possibility?”
Get out of here.”

 Authorities have framed their bureaucratization of the afterlife as a bulwark against fraudulent, profiteering monks. Yet experts say it's also part of a wide-ranging effort to tighten control over the turbulent region.
From the point of view of Beijing, the whole apparatus seems to be about giving Beijing control over the appointment of the next Dalai Lama,” said Robbie Barnett, director of the Modern Tibet Studies Program at Columbia University. The Chinese term huofo, or living Buddha, refers to high-ranking religious figures in Tibetan Buddhism, but it has no true equivalent in the Tibetan language.


Well, let's see if I understand this situation. The Buddhists choose their spiritual leader, Dalai Lama, from a process known as reincarnation. Nobody votes, nobody gets chosen, he dies, takes on a new form and is born again back into this world. The government officials in China are saying it is they who get to choose who is or is not reincarnated. How can they, being atheists, not even Buddhists, choose the person who is specifically reincarnated for the purpose of being Dalai Lama? (Sarcasm alert) That's like saying the government can choose who is born with blonde hair and brown eyes. If a person is born with the wrong hair or eye color, the government can fine them and arrest them? This is more than a little ridiculous. I wonder if some of these Chinese officials also serve in the United States Congress.

...from the State Religious Affairs Bureau Order No. 5, a law that authorities passed in 2007 to govern reincarnation. One must have “recognition from the religious world and the temple” to reincarnate. The law itself frames reincarnation in terms of national security: “The selection of reincarnates must preserve national unity and solidarity of all ethnic groups, and the selection process cannot be influenced by any group or individual from outside the country,” it says.


What happens if you don't have “recognition from the religious world and the temple” when you reincarnate? Are you then labeled as a “rogue reincarnate?” Is there an underground population of people in China who have illegally reincarnated? (Sarcasm alert) Can you just tell the local courts “Hey, I was reincarnated before 2007, and I had no idea there was such a law, so how can my reincarnation be illegal if I didn't know about the law?” I like the part about national security. Makes me think that someone has developed a reincarnate app that the government wants to be decrypted.

At Monday’s meeting, Baima Chilin, deputy Communist Party chief of the region, said that the Dalai Lama was “no longer a religious leader” after he left Tibet in 1959.


I think someone needs to tell this Communist Party chief that the Dalai Lama is recognized as the religious leader of Tibet by hundreds of millions of people all around the world. If that Communist Party chief thinks being a Dalai Lama is an easy thing, maybe he should try reincarnating. I'm sure he knows that it's illegal, and he'd be required to arrest himself and put himself on trial. Makes about as much sense as having reincarnation being illegal. If United States politicians thought doing this could get them elected, they would be telling everyone how they had been reincarnated. They would claim they deserve special consideration for everything in their life because of the prejudice they've experienced as a reincarnated person. They can't even travel to China.

China Reincarnation Story


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Monday, June 6, 2016

Chimps Have Their Own Religion. Yeah, it's another Real Study. I'm Not Making This Up.

I know there are a number of scientists who don't seem to understand religion. It is not something that can be proven using science. This will often lead to glaring examples of ignorance when it comes to comprehending the reality of human religion. To prove my point, I provide you with the following study. It claims that since chimps have behavior that scientists consider bizarre rituals, chimps believe in God. I'm not making this up. Trust me, on many levels; I wish this were not for real.

Below are excerpts from the story in bold. My valuable insights are in italics.


Mysterious chimpanzee behaviour could be 'sacred rituals' and show that chimps believe in God. The ritual has similarities with the building of shrines or cairns, a human ritual that has been happening for thousands of years and across civilisations

Boy does this seem stupid to me. What do they consider a 'sacred ritual?' (Sarcasm alert) Do chimps pass around a banana and all take just one bite and pass it to the next chimp? Have they seen chimps recite the same sounds at a meeting? Brother and sister chimps reciting the “Ooh, ooh, eeee, eeee, ahhhh” chant? Do they all scratch themselves in a certain way before a sacred chimp meeting begins? Do they ask for contributions of bananas and other fruits at the end of their ritual?


New footage shows chimpanzees engaging in bizarre behaviour — which might be a form of sacred ritual that could show the beginnings of a kind of religious belief.
Chimpanzees in West Africa have been spotted banging and throwing rocks against trees and throwing them into gaps inside, leading to piles of rocks. Those rocks do not appear to be for any functional purpose — and might be an example of an early version of ritual behaviour. The discovery might help researchers learn more about the basis of human religion and rituals, and how such activities formed in our own history.

Maybe this isn't a religious ritual at all. Maybe what the scientists are observing is a form of chimp sports. “Banging and throwing rocks against trees and throwing them into gaps inside trees that lead to piles of rocks,” makes it sound more like sport to me than religion.  These scientists need to spend less time in the labs and more time at bars watching sports. I bet they'd eventually make the connection. (Sarcasm Alert) I'm sure there was a chimp somewhere announcing to other chimps how their star player “Mighty Joe Young” was going to break the record for rock throwing through gaps and hitting other rocks. The record was probably held by the very famous and much beloved Curious George. While this was going on, there were probably chimps selling fruits and other things to the chimp spectators. This may not have anything to do with chimps believing in God but everything to do with them believing in sports.


Chimpanzees and other apes have long been known to use stones and other materials as tools, including their use as nutcrackers to get into food that is cased in a hard shell. But the new behaviour doesn’t seem to have the same functional purpose. “This represents the first record of repeated observations of individual chimpanzees exhibiting stone tool use for a purpose other than extractive foraging at what appear to be targeted trees,” the researchers write in their abstract.

I think the last research these scientists performed involved marijuana, and they willingly used themselves as test patients. (Sarcasm Alert) So, we are to believe if a chimp uses a tool for something other than foraging, it must mean they have religion and believe in God? Now that makes about as much sense as a square bowling ball. Maybe the chimps are in love and are targeting certain trees to carve their initials. Maybe the chimps are trying to warn other chimps to the fact that the tree has been condemned and should no longer be used for swinging. Maybe they're making a chimp statement about the stupid scientists who constantly observe them. It's possible they're trying to communicate that being a chimp was much better before these scientists came into their jungle home and became annoying.


The chimpanzee behaviour could also represent a direct connection with human religious rituals. Indigenous West African people also collect stones at sacred trees — and similar behaviour is seen elsewhere — in a way that looks “eerily similar to what we have discovered here”, one of the researchers wrote.

Have these researchers ever heard of the term “monkey see monkey do?” Could the chimps simply be imitating what they see humans doing and have no clue why they are doing it? Is it possible these scientists have spent a little too much time in the jungle with chimps and have nothing to show for it? Are they motivated to say anything to continue getting money to spend more time in the jungle with chimps? Is it possible that marijuana studies just don't pay as well as chimp studies, so they just decided to combine both of them into one?


Marking pathways and territories with signposts such as piles of rocks is an important step in human history,” wrote Ms Kehoe. “Figuring out where chimps' territories are in relation to rock throwing sites could give us insights into whether this is the case here.”

They consider this an important step in human history? Are they referring to the fact that chimps throwing rocks could be a religious practice or the fact that someone actually paid them to do this study? (Sarcasm alert) Maybe the scientists asked the chimps what they thought about the research, and the chimps said they'd pray about it and get back to them.

Below is a link to the story.

Chimps Believe In God Story